Consulting room. . .

“No!” a simple word that conveyed as nothing else could, the depth of raw emotion the woman felt at the previous statement. Her body shook slightly at the devastating news, which couldn’t possibly be true!

Doctor Carla Kingston had seen this initial reaction over and over again. Sometimes she wondered who hurt the most in these situations, the patient or the relatives.

“I’m very sorry Ms. Clark, there really isn’t anything medically I can do.”

“Are you telling me there isn’t any hope?” The woman turned anguished eyes to the Doctor opposite her. There was little facial change in the Doctor’s profile, it probably didn’t matter to her what happened next, and as far as she was concerned it was over.

“I would never say there isn’t any hope Ms. Clark, the power of prayer and belief in the heart have worked miracles in some cases. From a purely medical point of view I have no treatment available at this time, I’m so very sorry.” Carla meant every word too. In her career, she had seen medical conditions considered beyond the shadow turn into wonderful reprieve’s from the brink of death. Who knew when someone was due a miracle in his or her life?

“I will not accept it you know I will get a second opinion.” She cried out her heart breaking as the news finally started to seep into her conscious thoughts. This was not fair! No way was it fair; God had to see that!

“I accept that as your choice Ms. Clark. I know one or two fine people in this particular field if you would like me to contact them on your behalf?” Carla did know several colleagues who were experienced in this area of medicine. She also knew the research had not been taken to its fullest conclusion, for various reasons and therefore to-date there wasn’t any treatment that could be considered effective at this stage. The real problem here was that she had spent several years in the research field of this disease, not to put to fine a point on it; she was the foremost expert on this side of the Atlantic.

This was too much to take in now as she wrung her hands in her lap unable to answer the Doctor.

“Is there anyone I can call? I think in the circumstances perhaps you would like a member of your family here with you.” Carla Kingston had seen the misery and shutdown-taking place in the woman.

Moving out of her chair to go around her desk and face the woman, who was a hairs-breath away from breaking down. She could do without that scene as she had more patients and relatives to see today all of the consultations difficult if not as tragic as this one.

“No! I can handle this.” Her response was given quickly, as she put a weary hand across her eyes, having gone through various battles in her lifetime already. To face this one was going to be the hardest she would ever experience in her life. How did you react to death starring you in the face, when no hope was offered for a recovery?

Carla Kingston gave a professional smile at the request, silently pressed the buzzer on her desk to indicate that her nurse should enter the room. Within a minute the door opened, a homely and somewhat matronly figure walked into the room. Looked first at the Doctor and saw her grim expression, then to the woman slumped defeated in the chair.

“My dear let’s go and have some nice hot tea shall we?” May Lancaster softly entreated the young woman, who raised a weary head to give her a bewildered glance.

May gently put a hand on the woman’s shoulder, as she helped to pull her out of the chair and moved her unresisting body towards the door.

Carla Kingston watched the scene with an impartial expression, she had seen this happen so often. Perhaps she had become immune to it and now she was like the grim reaper, who gave the final call.

“Give me a minute Nurse Lancaster and send in Mr. Rogers, please.” The Doctor turned away and sat back at her desk, placing the notes of the patient into a folder slipping them into her filing tray. As she did so the name brought a sad smile to her face, it was a very beautiful name and quaint, in these parts anyway. ‘My prayers are with you Eloise Clark.’

* * *

She couldn’t help it the tears flowed freely now, as she was given a large white freshly laundered handkerchief from Nurse Lancaster. Whom she had come to know  better with the numerous visits she’d made here to the consulting rooms of Doctor Kingston, but at the hospital too.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome my dear. Want me to call Jerry for you?” May Lancaster had always felt sorry for this rather lonely woman, who appeared to have the whole weight of the world on her shoulders and perhaps now she did.

Carla Kingston was a wonderful Doctor, she worked wonders in her area of medicine, but she was a little light on the understanding and comforting part of the job. Which was natural for her, but the good Doctor wasn’t so gifted in that area. Perhaps that was why she volunteered to be the Doctor’s consulting nurse when no one else wanted the job, Kingston was known to be a tyrant in certain circumstances.  After an initial round or two in the ring, they had found a happy medium that worked for them both. Now five years later they had actually become friends on the surface at least. She didn’t think Kingston made that many friends, she was only interested in her work to the exclusion of everything, including a private life.

“Would you mind Nurse Lancaster, he’s expecting me to call.” Turning tear filled eyes to the comforting features of the nurse, who had in part befriended her over the past few months, as the visits became more regular.

“I’ll do that right away, here take this.” May Lancaster handed over a steamy cup of hot tea laced with honey and smiled gently at the woman as she went over to her desk and made the call.

‘Everyone was so kind really, even Doctor Kingston. I know she has a job to do, I’m only one of the numerous cases she sees everyday, but couldn’t she try something else? Surely there had to be something else!’ Tears cascaded down her cheeks she was helpless in their wake set to ravage her face, and she really couldn’t look like this when Jerry came to collect her. She needed to talk to him, in some ways that was one of the hardest things she would have to do, explain the situation to Jerry, he would be so upset.’

May Lancaster walked back towards her and nodded her head at the unspoken question in the younger woman’s eyes. “He’ll be here in about ten minutes, why not take the time to drink the tea and then freshen up a little. We both know what he’ll think if he sees you crying.”

May Lancaster looked around the waiting area, there was another couple waiting to see the Doctor, they had overheard her conversation and the woman had looked strangely at her. If they only knew Jerry the way she and this young woman did, they would understand or perhaps not, as she discreetly looked them over again. May discreetly looked them over again and thought ‘if they only knew Jerry the way she and this young woman did, they might understand’.

“Yes, thank you he wouldn’t understand and I want to tell him at home.” The young woman sipped from her tea and May Lancaster felt her heart go out to her for she had, had more than her fair share of heartaches. However, she had shouldered it all responsibly, now another critical time was upon her, who would this young woman have to support her with the tragic events about to unfold around her?

* * *

May Lancaster saw Jerry quickly make his way towards her with a child laughing along after him,  responding to something the young man had obviously said.

“Hello Mrs. Lancaster.” Jerry smiled winningly at the Nurse who he had known for years, she had lived next door to him and his family when he had lived with his parents.

“Hello yourself Jerry, I see we have the very beautiful Eli also.” Nurse Lancaster chuckled as she saw the grin on the young man’s face, and the beaming smile appear on the rather plain featured child who had come up alongside him to say hello.

“Hello Nurse May, how are you today?” The child asked politely, which brought a smile from the older woman.

“Very well thank you lovely and what have you been up to today?” The nurse held out her arms for the child to come sit on her lap and relate her day, she was a lightweight and jumped easily onto the ample lap.

“Jerry took me to the park, we played ball with Polly, and then we came here.” The child replied with a grin, she had an infectious grin that you immediately responded to, how could you resist it.

“Well, Jerry was rather energetic wasn’t he?” Nurse Lancaster laughed softly as the younger woman came out of the bathroom and smiled bravely at the new occupants of the room.

“Jerry that was quick.” The woman smiled warmly at the young man as he ambled over to her, grinning as he hugged her tightly.

“Everything okay now?” He gave her a long searching look. She was tempted to say no it wasn’t and cry on his broad shoulder but that wouldn’t have been right, not here anyway.

“Yes…yes everything is fine Jerry. Let’s go and have a pizza for lunch, just the three of us, what do you say?” Her eyes strayed to the child in Nurse Lancaster’s arms.

The door to Doctor Kingston’s office opened, the couple who had previously been seated in the waiting area came out, the woman crying inconsolably as her husband tried but failed to comfort her.

Doctor Carla Kingston felt quite drained today, and she still had two more consultations left immediately after lunch. Then her eyes glanced around the waiting area as she saw the young woman she had broken the bad news to earlier in the day. A young man and a child seated on her Nurse’s knee were in the room also, quite the happy scene if it wasn’t so tragic! ‘Damn life sometimes.’

“Looks like a party?” Carla asked, a hint of lightness in her voice as she rested her eyes on Ms. Clark, maybe this was her partner, as she smiled briefly at the young man.

Suddenly she was engulfed in a bear hug if you could call it that, from thin but tenacious arms of the child who had without her noticing vacated the lap of her nurse and turned her attentions on her.

“Hey there little one you almost knocked me over.” Carla smiled at the child as she reached down and picked up the featherweight with ease.

“I did, really?” Excited eyes twinkled at the thought of doing anything to this tall person who was very nice, but she was rather serious looking most of the time, not like her mother.

“Yep you sure did.” Carla Kingston laughed softly into the face of the child and it brought her sombre features into beautiful relief, quite a transformation.

“I’ve been to the park today Doctor Carla.” The child rushed on with her explanation as all eyes watched the scene with differing thoughts going through their heads.

Nurse Lancaster was mildly amused, Jerry was a little jealous and ….

“Eloise, we need to leave Doctor Kingston to her work she’s very busy.” Megan Clark had watched fascinated as the Doctor had broken with her usual reserve and taken her daughter warmly into her arms.

“Oh Mom! Are you really very busy Doctor Carla?” The child asked, as she was placed down gently onto the floor, as the Doctor righted herself and looked calmly over to the child’s mother.

“Never too busy for you Eloise.” The Doctor replied as she tweaked the sandy coloured hair stepping back towards her room.

“Want to come and have pizza with us Doctor Carla? Mom’s treat.” Megan couldn’t believe it, her daughter had asked the Doctor to lunch.

Carla Kingston glanced at the embarrassed and somewhat drained features of Ms. Clark, funny thing was she was tempted to go. However, professionally it wasn’t the best call, she was still the child’s doctor unless Megan Clark carried out her earlier threat and went for a second opinion.

“Sorry Eloise, how about next time you are at the hospital I take you to lunch.” Carla smiled at the child who grinned widely at her.

“Do you mean that Doctor Carla?” Eloise said in awe.

“Yes I do, now go and enjoy your pizza. See you next week for our date, okay?” Carla placed her hand tentatively on the child’s head, stroking her hair as she left the area and closed her office door after her.

“Mom! Mom, Doctor Carla is taking us to lunch next week.” Megan Clark had no control over the single tear that splashed down her cheek, as she saw the exuberance lift her child, with that small gesture from the solemn doctor.

“Okay you two, let’s go to lunch, say goodbye to Nurse Lancaster.” Megan finally choked back her tears, as she tenderly took the hand of her excited child on one side and Jerry’s hand in the other, to show that he wasn’t being left out of the conversation.

They said their goodbyes as they walked as a threesome out of the building into the bright noon sunlight.

* * *

Three months later. . .

Carla was tired, bone tired if she would allow it, she didn’t or in the circumstances couldn’t permit the weakness to invade her at this time.

Eloise Clark had been brought into the hospital unconscious with laboured breathing, now she waited patiently for the results of the test she had carried out a little earlier. When she had been about to get in her car after a twenty-hour shift because of an accident on the interstate. She had been tempted to let the page she received go unheeded, but her ethics kicked in and she rang the emergency number. Once the name had been mentioned she felt a surge of adrenaline in her body, that would see her through another crisis with the child, there had been a few others in the last month.

A knock on the door heralded the arrival of the results; she signed for them quickly ripping open the sealed envelope. Already knowing the answers, yet hoping that it was another false alarm as the other previous emergencies with the child had been, she could wish for miracles too.

Her eyes flashed over the contents as she sighed heavily, letting the paper drop lifelessly from her hands, which then floated down onto the desk in what seemed like slow motion. Her mind quickly going over the options as her heart cried for a life so young, that would soon be over.

They say that ‘as one door shuts another one opens’, at times like this she wondered at that particular quote. Indeed in God himself at times, why did the innocent and young die needlessly?

It had been an experience in many ways for her with this child’s case, because she felt attached to the child in such a profound way it was hard to describe. Detachment they say is critical in these circumstances, and she would be because then she could do her job. At the moment that was what Eloise Clark’s family required of her, competence and the emotion firmly locked in a region unable to escape until the tasks were completed.

Megan Clark would expect her to be the total professional and she would be! Come the morning Eloise Clark would know little about the people around her, she would slip into a coma if indeed she woke up at all and move into the next life quietly.

Taking a deep breath, she masked her tired and wrought emotions. Placing them into the makeshift jail for the rest of the time, she was in the hospital, as she left her office to seek out the family and relay the tragic, yet not unexpected news.

* * *

Several hours later. . .

Megan Clark lay with her daughter on the narrow hospital bed, it was a bittersweet reminder of the day Eloise came into the world, in this very hospital a little over nine years ago. Now her baby was going to make the next journey out of this building without her to hold her hand, it just wasn’t fair life wasn’t fair!

Stroking the damp sandy hair away from her daughter’s eyes, which were closed in a deep sleep, she had been in since arriving at the hospital. How very beautiful she was, even the yellowing pallor of her skin didn’t detract from her flawless complexion. The stub nose that she had often been ribbed on by Jerry was so very dear to her, as she kissed it tenderly.

Her thoughts strayed to Jerry, dear Jerry. How upset he was, he blamed himself of course as she knew he would, although they would work on that together, they had to straighten their lives out when Eloise was gone from them.

As she kissed her daughter’s cheek she whispered to her. “Uncle Jerry is waiting at home with Polly, you know that they would both have loved to come see you Eli, but hospitals don’t like animals as we do. You know Uncle Jerry he’ll take care of her for us until we go home….” Megan choked on the last word and tears trickled down her cheeks as she sobbed the last few words.

* * *

Her need for sleep was now becoming a craving as Carla Kingston’s eyes shut for the thousandth time she felt, trying to focus on the coffee cup in front of her.

“You need sleep Doctor.” May Lancaster stated determinedly as she seated herself opposite the Doctor.

Looking up slightly surprised that anyone would invade her space or say anything to her as she morosely starred into her coffee cup. Now she knew who it was, she shrugged and placed her hands around the cooling coffee cup sipping the sweetened liquid.

“Not yet.” Carla said quietly as she contemplated the situation of the Clark child.

“Why not, you’re dead on your feet, you could prove more a burden than a help.” May Lancaster replied with sympathy rather than censure, looking at the weary, red rimmed and pale woman before her. The lines around her eyes now very clearly showing her age, although the Doctor hadn’t reached forty, she had the look of someone older whose body was fraying at the edges.

“Exactly, I can’t do anything now it is a matter of waiting for death and I need to be here.” Carla choked out, her exhaustion making her more emotional than normal.

May Lancaster had been away for a few days and wondered who the patient was. “Is it Mr. Jackson?” Knowing he had been deteriorating before she had a break.

“No. It’s our little shining light Eloise Clark.” The doctor pronounced calmly almost as she would a straightforward diagnosis.

“OH my goodness Doctor, when did it happen?” May Lancaster felt her own tears prick as she digested that sad news. The child had been doing so well after the last episode it couldn’t be true.

“Yesterday, mid-afternoon she had an haemorrhage. It could have happened anytime, we all knew it. I rather hoped Megan Clark’s prayer’s were going to be answered and a miracle happened, guess not.” Carla spoke so wistfully.

“You did everything you could, more than most in the last few months Doctor. If it’s God’s will then she’s going to be in good hands. Her Daddy will be there to see to her.” May Lancaster attempted to shed some light back into the dark mood of the Doctor.

Carla looked up sharply at that. “So who is Jerry?”

May smiled slightly, as she thought of the young man.

“He’s Eloise’s uncle. Kevin his older brother was the child’s father. He and Megan met when she came to town on an assignment for her local paper. They had an affair, Eloise was the product, Megan and Kevin were engaged for a short time but he and his parents were killed in an accident travelling to meet Megan at the local airport one weekend. That left Jerry and the six-month’s pregnant Megan alone, she doesn’t have any folks. She walked out on her old life and settled here, brought up the baby and became Jerry’s family and support too.” May Lancaster narrated the sad tale quickly.

“Why did Jerry need support? Surely it should have been the other way around?” Carla asked intrigued at the scenario.

“Oh Jerry doesn’t quite have a full deck of cards or a little retarded to you Doctor, he’s a sweet young man but requires lots of attention and Megan and Eloise have provided that stability for him. In fact to such a degree he has a steady job.” May informed her with a sad expression.

“My god that woman must have vast hidden strength, to go through all that and now she has to suffer the loss of her child too.” Carla couldn’t help the sharp pain in her heart in sympathy for the young woman watching her only child die in her arms.

“Megan didn’t see it like that and never will, she loves Jerry. I suppose in many ways he’s a kid brother, albeit always a kid brother, very loveable and with what she’s going through at the moment I think he will prove to be her salvation. Her road back from the brink I would imagine, some never have that in their lives.”

Carla Kingston stood up abruptly as her pager went off in her pocket, she pressed the acceptance button and turned to the Nurse. “It’s time.”

May Lancaster watched in silence, as the doctor walked out of the room towards the final moments of a young girl’s life.

* * *

Two hours later. . .

Megan Clark looked out the window of the hospital room that was now so silent you could hear a pin drop. The monitors having been switched off and the hospital staff had left her to pay her last respects to her only child. Who had lost the battle of this life to pass on to forge her way ahead in the next.

It had started out dull and overcast as she’d watch the day’s sky pass by, waiting with her child in those last moments of her life. In that last hour the sky had brightened and the sun had shone, streaming into the room filling it with light.

Yes, a light that would be the stairway to heaven Eloise would walk towards and be happy, without the pain she had suffered in her short life. Her Daddy and grandparents would be waiting to take her on the journey. It was as it should be and she knew in her heart that her little girl would always be with her, no matter how many years would pass before they were reunited.

The door opened slowly and the dark head of Doctor Kingston peered inside and looked at the woman’s back, “Ms. Clark, do you need more time?”

Megan heard the words and although she had thought at first this doctor would not care once medically she could do no more for her child that had not been the case at all. In many instances she had tried harder and spent more time, probably her own time in the long hours Eloise had spent in the hospital on and off in the last few months. She had even taken lunch with them on a couple of occasions, which had turned out to be quite enjoyable all round. Now there was no link between them, Eloise was gone.

“No, I need to go home now and see Jerry, he will be getting anxious.” Megan replied automatically as she bent one last time to kiss the forehead of her child and wipe away the hair that had strayed once again over her eyes.

Carla Kingston watched the tender goodbye, feeling like an interloper at this private moment between a mother and child. As Megan Clark walked mechanically towards the door and the close proximity of the Doctor, she simply said. “Please take care of her for me.”

Leaving the Doctor to stare after the woman as she quickly walked down the corridor her head held high.  Her answer unheard by the retreating figure, “Of course I will, as if she was my own.”

* * *

A year later. . .

“You’re late.” The Director of the hospital said to Carla Kingston as she quickly took her seat in the front row on the podium for the special guests.

“Sorry traffic. At least you didn’t start without me.” Carla answered him glibly.

He gave her an exasperated look as he shrugged his shoulders. “How could we, you are the reason why we are here.”

Applause and general cheers went around the small auditorium as the local Mayor made his entrance and then welcomed everyone into the room.

“Ladies and Gentlemen we are here today to honour a member of our small community who has brought the world media to our door, none other than our very own Doctor Carla Kingston.” The applause from the audience crashed around them as Carla stood up briefly and accepted the accolades.

“As you all know she’s been working tirelessly for some years now on a cure for a disease that has never discriminated between the young or old, male or female, attacking anyone at any age. She recently produced a paper, which will be the foundations for the development towards a cure with her findings as the basis.  Doctor Kingston please, a few words.”

Carla swallowed hard and contemplated her small speech; her press release had been briefer. Although now she was being bombarded with phone calls for a personal interview, the money being offered for an exclusive was astronomical.

“Thank you ladies and gentlemen, as you know I have been interested in this area of research for some years. However just over a year ago it became a passion, when I became profoundly touched by the death of one of my patients. Her death has driven me onwards when paths appeared to lead to a dead end and there seemed no hope. I could see the hope that child inspired in her family and as I prayed for a miracle when science had failed her, it brought into focus an ambition to see that perhaps the miracle would stem from her sacrifice. The true recipient of anything I have achieved today should be to her for it is because of her….” Carla brought the house down with her plaintiff sincere honouring of the reason why she strove on when the odds were stacked against her.

* * *

Watching the birds glide across the surface of the pond in the park, Megan pondered why she had been sent out to meet someone here. Surely it would have been more comfortable in the newspaper office, although not as beautiful she ruefully admitted.

As she calmly looked out onto the surface of the water she felt someone coming closer and she looked up to see the tall figure of …was she seeing things? Wasn’t that Doctor Kingston, the sight of the woman brought a sting of tears as the image of her daughter immediately came to mind, how painful that was, although as each day passed it became marginally better. Now she was coming face to face with the person who probably felt the keenness of Eloise’s death as much as she did, they had both been there at the end.

Carla Kingston stopped at the bench that Megan Clark sat on. “May I sit Ms. Clark?”

“Yes, of course. I’m waiting for someone but they haven’t arrived as yet.” Megan said quickly.

“I believe I’m that someone Ms. Clark.” Carla offered her a small smile as she sat down beside the woman and looked at the ducks that bobbed around the water’s edge.

Megan looked at her suspiciously, “my boss failed to tell me the identity of the person I was meeting, only that it was a safe meeting.”

“I guess I should be flattered to be described as safe!” Carla chuckled it was a deep melodious sound and made Megan smile shyly back.

“You have also become a very famous personage Doctor Kingston. I’m honoured to be speaking to you.” Megan said sincerely as she scrambled in her handbag for her notebook and pen, all good reporters came prepared and she always managed to lose hers in the depth of her bag.

Carla gave her a long serious glance her eyes intent on something in the younger woman’s face and then her lips curled into a tiny smile. “I think it is I who am honoured to be with you Ms. Clark, after all the only reason I’m famous is because of you.”

Megan was dumbfounded, what was the woman talking about as the hunt for her pen and paper no longer of importance. “I’m sorry I don’t understand.”

Turning to stare out on the expanse of water that was calm except for the odd ripple as the ducks dived for food. “No, you wouldn’t of course. You see, I’ve been asked to do an exclusive interview with several publications for obscene amounts of money.”

“Yes, well you would and deservedly so. Your breakthrough is very exciting and will help lots of others….” Megan trailed off as she felt the pain in her heart knowing that for her daughter it was too late.

“That’s it exactly, there can only be one person who will have the exclusive, and that has to be to the person who will understand it the most.” Carla said quietly.

Still not sure where this conversation was going she looked with questioning eyes into the intelligent serious ones at her side, asking the silent question.

“I offer you Megan Clark the exclusive interview if you care to take it.”

“Me? I don’t know what to say…why me?” Megan stuttered over the words unable to comprehend the chance this would be for her or the paper.

“Why you? Who else would I give the story to, for this is the story of Eloise.” Carla Kingston spoke softly, as she saw the image of the child clearly in her mind’s eye.

Megan choked back a sob as she turned to the woman in amazement. “The story of Eloise?” Came out in whispered wonder; they were talking about her child.

Carla gave her a warm smile, “yes, the story of Eloise.”

Composing herself she found her notepad and pen, studiously scribbling the title of the story.

‘Eloise’

END