Chapter One
Retired Colonel Margaret Duncan sat at a table in a dark corner of the Officer’s Club watching a group of female second lieutenants congregated around the bar. She had studied them long enough to know which one she could approach and perhaps spend a pleasant night with in the pleasures of the body. Although she was forty-nine and old enough to be their mother, she was confident in her prowess at a pick-up. Her body belied her age. She spent hours running or at the gym to stay in shape and she inherited her mother’s skin, which was line free into her seventies.
Meg sighed and slugged back a shot of tequila before finishing her beer. Tonight she would sleep alone. Tomorrow was Wednesday, and that meant working with Dr. Cate Oliver, emergency chief of the Uptown Medical and Trauma Center, which she always found pleasurable. Their interaction was always flirtatious when they weren’t treating patients.
In all her years, Meg knew she had experienced more death and carnage than many of her peers in the emergency room. After graduation from nursing school where she obtained a BSN at the expense of the Army, Meg was commissioned as a second lieutenant. It was through the Army that she went back to school and obtained a degree as a—nurse practitioner. She spent many years as an Army nurse at field hospitals during the Gulf War, Afghanistan, and Iraq where she saw firsthand the worst that humanity could inflict on itself. She also worked at Walter Reed hospital in Washington, DC where she saw the stark reality of what war did to those who fought.
Meg rose through the ranks and eventually achieved the rank of colonel. As her rank increased, she found herself taken away from the day to day duties of a nurse practioner and into a supervisory position. Still she longed for the rush she got from working in war zones—it was like an insistent lover who kept her perpetually on the edge of an orgasm. At the twenty-five year mark in her career, she decided to retire from the military and go back to her first love, emergency medicine. It wasn’t long before she was working as an OR NP at the Uptown Medical and Trauma facility on the outskirts of DC.
Although the Uptown emergency room didn’t have the same intensity as working in the field, the anticipation of the unknown kept her body on high alert. After working at the hospital for three years, a shakeup of hospital staff brought Cate Oliver to the emergency room as its chief. The new chief zeroed in on her insisting that Meg work only with her on Wednesdays—that was tomorrow.
Meg pushed back from the table and gave the small brunette who had made eye contact an apologetic smile before departing. As she started her old Toyota, she thought of the doctor she worked with—Cate Olivier sent a jolt of pleasure through her body.
Chapter Two
The tires of the beat up old Toyota screeched to a stop in a parking space of the employee’s parking lot of the Uptown Medical and Trauma Center. Meg opened the door and stepped onto the wet pavement before walking rapidly to the emergency room door—she was late.
The area was eerily quiet. Several doctors, nurses, and orderlies stood behind the circular desk chatting in hushed tones. As she neared the counter, Meg smiled at her friend and fellow nurse, Denise Overton.
“Hi, Denise, sorry I’m late. My car didn’t want to cooperate this morning,” Meg said breathlessly as she moved behind the counter.
The trim, gray haired woman chuckled and patted Meg’s hand. “When are you going to get rid of that heap for something more reliable?” Denise asked.
Meg laughed. “I love that car. I’ve had it since I was in college.” She looked at her wristwatch. “Shit, look how late it is. I hope this isn’t how my whole day will go.”
“Don’t you hate when that happens? It’s slow right now—I’ve got it covered.” She grinned at Meg. “Good time for that car of yours to rebel.”
Meg laughed before she gently squeezed her co-worker’s shoulder. “Thanks, I just need to grab a cup of coffee and put my things away then I’ll be good to go.” She took a few steps and turned back around. “Of all days to be late it had to be this one.”
Denise chuckled. “She’s not here yet.”
“Thank, God, for that. I’ll be right back.” Meg hurried off to the staff lounge where she quickly stored her coat in her locker, slipped out of her sneakers and put on her blue Crocs. She snagged her stethoscope and a few other items before pouring coffee into a cup that said isn’t it the weekend yet, she grinned and mumbled, “It should be isn’t it Wednesday yet.”She rubbed the back of her neck and heaved a deep sigh before heading for the door. Starting the day off by being late was a bad sign.
Meg walked back into the quiet emergency room and shivered as she felt arms of ice encircle her. She let her eyes dart everywhere until they fell on an old bent over man who was busy mopping the tile floor of one of the exam rooms. She stared at the man who looked up and gave her a quizzical look before he continued his chore. Her hands began vigorously rubbing her arms in an attempt to warm up—it didn’t work.
“You cold,” Denise asked.
With knitted eyebrows, Meg said, “Not really. I feel like there’s something is off.” She shrugged. “Guess it’s because I was late and it’s Wednesday.” Rounding the edge of the counter, she looked at the white board on the wall. “Looks like last night was relatively slow—I hope that the day is the same.”
Denise was about to relate the activities of the night shift when the phone rang insistently. “Hold that thought,” she said as she answered the phone.
As Meg waited, her feelings of apprehension increased. The chief of emergency, Cate Oliver always asked that Meg assist her when she worked the emergency room on Wednesdays and she usually she looked forward to working with her—today was different. Her attention turned to a male voice saying, “Multi vehicle collision on ninety-five, Trauma Flight Six is on route with two on board.”
Uptown, was a regional trauma center, which meant that they would be hit with the worst cases first. A well played out choreograph began as each individual in the emergency room began to prepare for the injured. Meg felt a hand touch her shoulder before a deep melodious voice she knew well said, “Come with me. We’ll do the triage at the landing site.”
>< >< ><
Meg pulled two disposable rain coats from under the counter and handed it to the doctor who frowned. “It’s been raining.”
“But it’s stopped.” Cate took hold of a gurney and began to move toward the door.
Meg followed the white lab coat that flew as Dr. Cate Oliver pushed a gurney with purpose toward the helipad. “We need them for the blow back from the rotor blades.”
The doctor stopped. “Oh, right.” She smiled and said, “thanks,” as she pulled the clear plastic over her head.
Standing near the helipad, both women’s eyes scanned the sky for the helicopter. When Meg heard the distant whir of helicopter blades, she felt the familiar rush of adrenalin. When she caught the sight of the outline of the craft, she closed her eyes as her nipples hardened. Her eyes then tracked to the doctor by her side and she took in the body that always made her own body react in pleasure. No, I can’t go there now.
Once the blades began to slow, both women pushed their gurneys toward the helicopter. The medics were quick to load the patient on the doctor’s gurney and in no time were lifting another body onto the gurney that Meg held. For a moment, Meg watched the doctor with practiced precision evaluated the man on to her gurney before Meg looked at the person lying in front of her.
A chill ran up her spine and time seemed to stand still as Meg looked down at a sandy haired young man, a boy really, who lay motionless in front of her. In the distance she could hear the sounds of war. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and made herself put the ear pieces of her stethoscope in her ears. She listened intently to the audible sound of a beating heart. As she did her cursory exam, her eyes fell on the top of the young man’s head and she gulped down the bile that threatened her throat—a deep indentation told her all she needed to know. Still hearing the sounds of mortars and gunfire, Meg continued to examine the young man. When the boy opened his eyes and grabbed her hand, Meg trembled as she looked into his eyes and finally knew where she was.
“Mom,” the boy mouthed.
“What’s your name?”
“Jack,” he murmured.
Meg smiled gently. “Jack, can you tell me what your mom’s phone number is?”
The boy’s eyes fluttered as he said, “Five-five-five-nine-two-six-two,” before they closed.
“What do you have?” the voice of Cate Oliver asked.
Meg digested what the doctor asked and mechanically replied, “Cranial trauma, rapid pulse, shallow breathing, both legs are broken and there is tenderness in the lower left quadrant of his belly.” Her eyes met the doctor’s and she added, “Medics said he was unconscious—he regained consciousness long enough to tell me his name and a phone number.”
Cate did her own perfunctory examination then motioned to an orderly who had a grim expression across his tanned face. “This patient needs to go to radiology.” The doctor pulled a device out of her pocket, pressed a button, and put it to her mouth. “X-ray, I’m sending one of the victims down now. We need a CAT scan of the cranium and x-rays of both legs STAT.” She then exchanged the gurney holding the young man for another gurney.
As an orderly started to push the gurney, the boy’s hand grabbed Meg’s arm. “Please don’t go,” his weak voice pleaded. Meg’s eyes focused on the doctor who gave her a slight nod.
Meg walked quickly alongside the gurney as she heard another helicopter approach. For a moment, she looked back at Cate who was about to walk toward the landing pad but seemed to pause and look at her. Their eyes locked until the man pushing the gurney said, “You coming?”
Chapter Three
Inside the hospital, Meg dialed the number the boy had given her and listened to the sound half hoping that she got an answering machine. In her time in the Army, Meg never had many dealings with the families of patients and found that part of civilian nursing distasteful. When she worked at Walter Reed, she did interact with the families but that contact was tame compared to informing someone that their loved one was in the hospital and was probably close to death.
“This is Rita Harper, may I help you?” the cheerful voice asked.
Meg swallowed hard, steeled her emotions, and said, “This is Margaret Duncan at Uptown Medical, do you have a son named Jack?” She heard an audible gasp.
“What’s happened to him?” the woman asked with a shaky voice.
“He’s been in an automobile accident,” Meg said coolly.
“Oh, my God,” Rita sobbed. “I’m on my way.”
“Come to the emergency room entrance and ask for me, Margaret Duncan.” Meg didn’t know if the woman heard her—the line had gone to a dial tone.
Once Jack was in an emergency exam room, Meg and a team of nurses worked silently as they hooked the boy up to various monitors. He seemed to float in and out of consciousness and always focused on Meg with his sightless light brown eyes.
“Your mom is on her way,” she said hoping that somewhere in his damaged brain he understood. Looking at the readouts for the monitors, Meg silently prayed that Rita Harper would get there in time—she held Jack’s hand tighter. Ever since she looked at Jack when the medics first placed him on the gurney, Meg fought the memories that war always brings. She chided herself for allowing the past, which she had no control over, to resurrect the sounds, smells, and sights of war. Focus on the present Meg.
The sound of an opening door had Meg looking up hoping it was Jack’s mother. Cate stood in the doorway silently before she moved toward Meg. “How’s he doing?” she asked softly.
Meg blew out a breath. “Hanging on…barely.”
“No family here yet?”
With a shake of her head, Meg said, “Called his mother thirty minutes ago she said she was on her way.”
Intense blue eyes captured Meg’s hazel eyes. “We’ve had to divert some of the victims to Sacred Heart. It’s a zoo out there.”
Meg looked at the boy. His breathing was becoming laborious and she saw his heart rate begin to slow. She couldn’t understand her out of control sympathy for the young man and knew that she couldn’t explain what she was feeling to Cate. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Her eyes stung as she fought to hold back tears. “I can’t let him die alone.”
Perplexed, Cate stared at Meg. They had worked closely every Wednesday for almost eight months and she had never seen the woman react this way. They had seen injuries a hundred times more horrendous and never once did Meg flinch. So what is going on now? She could clearly see the distress on Meg’s face and not only did that surprise her, it made her heart go out to her. “We need you. As soon as his mother arrives or he dies, I want you to find me,” she said colder than she meant to.
Just then, the door swung open and a tall woman, about Meg’s age, with an anguished face rushed past Cate and put her hands to her mouth. “Oh, my baby,” she cried as she rushed to Jack’s side and took his other hand. When she heard the steady beep of the monitors, she relaxed her shoulders. With pleading eyes, she first looked at Cate then at Meg. “Is he going to be all right?”
Meg gulped back her emotion and fixed her eyes on the woman. Her voice was soft and soothing as she said, “We’ve done all we can. It’s up to him now.”
Looking on, Cate watched as Meg delivered the news of the young man’s condition. Meg gave the woman some hope even though she knew there was none. If he lived, the best he could hope for was a life on monitors that helped him breath and tubes that delivered nourishment.
Rita looked at her son who opened his eyes. “He’s awake,” she cried. “Jackie I’m here baby.” Then her son closed his eyes and the beeping became one long drone. Rita looked at Meg and pleaded, “Do something…please do something.”
“There’s nothing more we can do,” Meg soothed.
With tears streaming down her cheeks, Rita whispered, “Please don’t let him die.”
Meg walked around and pressed a button that stopped the droning of the monitor. She placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for your loss. Stay as long as you need to.” She started to leave then added, “Is there someone I can call for you?”
Rita looked at Meg and cried, “My husband is on his way.”
“I’ll make sure the staff knows he’ll be here. Again, I’m sorry for your loss.” When Meg reached Cate, she heaved a heavy sigh and was surprised when the doctor placed an arm around her shoulders. She allowed herself that moment of peace until she heard the strangled cries of the woman behind her.
“Let’s go, we’ve got work to do,” Cate said gently.
“I’m sorry,” Meg whispered as she and Cate turned to the woman.
Chapter Four
Three hours later, Meg sat on a bench in front of her locker with her head in her hands. The intensity of the day had brought back visions of the war zone and treating blown apart bodies. Her mind focused on the first patient—the young boy with the head injury. She had held the hands of so many young soldiers with tears in their eyes crying for loved ones as their lives slipped away. Over the years, such memories faded away and no longer haunted her. The young man she’d seen earlier that day had triggered something that brought back all the horror she’d witnessed.
“Are you okay?” a soft voice asked.
Meg didn’t need to look up for she’d recognize the red Crocs anywhere. “Not really.” She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and closed her eyes. Any other time she’d welcome the contact but now she felt vulnerable. The last thing she wanted was the doctor’s pity.
“Want to talk about it?” Cate asked as she sat next to Meg.
Lowering her hands, Meg turned her head to face the doctor. She was surprised that the intense blue eyes that focused on her held compassion. With a shrug, she looked away. “Not much to tell really.”
Cate tentatively put her hand on top of Meg’s hand that was resting on her thigh. “Do you know why I chose you?”
Meg shook her head.
“You’re the best I’ve ever worked with. I can always count on you to be at the top of your game.” Cate looked at Meg’s still bowed head. “Today, I saw you at your finest but I also saw the sadness on your face and in your eyes. I’d never seen that before. ” She squeezed the hand below hers. “Please tell me what is going on.”
Meg looked up and regarded the woman next to her. Cate looked young with her short hair bleached so blonde that it almost looked white. She wasn’t beautiful—stunning was more apt. Her dark blue eyes set off the face with angular planes that set atop a long neck with broad shoulders below. Meg guessed that her height was a few inches shorter than her five-eight. The trim, well kept body had caught her attention on more than one occasion and often she’d daydreamed what it would be like to kiss her. Sitting next to Cate with her hand on hers was rapidly making her forget the earlier events. She drew in a deep breath then blew it out slowly. “The past,” she whispered, “it decided to make a visit.”
Cate sat quietly as her fingers gently rubbed the back of Meg’s hand. It was more than Meg’s excellent skills that had attracted her—the woman was breathtaking. If someone had told her that she would be interested in an older woman, she’d have told them they were nuts. Yet, there she was attracted to a woman who was ten years older. Meg’s body was exquisite—it was long and lean with legs that seemed to go on forever. Wavy brown hair with blonde highlights kissed each shoulder and framed a face that belied its years. The telltale lines that often appeared around the eyes, mouth, and forehead were barely visible. Her lips were somewhat full and her royal blue scrubs made her hazel eyes appear bluer. Cate’s body always reacted with pleasure when she saw Meg—touching her hand made those feelings even more pleasurable.
“You mean from the Army?”
Meg nodded. “Something about today brought it all back.” The fingers gently rubbing her hand had all of her senses on full alert. Her ridged nipples were straining against her bra and she could feel the pleasurable ache between her thighs. Pulling her hand away, standing up, and avoiding Cate’s eyes, Meg said, “It’s all good. I’m sorry I bailed on helping you. I know better.”
Cate didn’t know why, but she reached out and held Meg’s arm. “It was important to you wasn’t it?” She saw Meg nod. “Don’t go yet,” she whispered. When she saw the look on the questioning look on the Meg’s face, she let go. “Will you have dinner with me?”
Digesting the words, Meg looked into the doctor’s eyes and saw sincerity along with something else—desire. With her heart hammering, she said, “Like on a date.”
Cate was on her feet standing close to Meg and taking a hand in hers. Just as she was about to speak, the sound of the door opening and voices filling the air, made her drop the hand and take several steps back. “Yes,” she whispered anxiously.
Meg’s face filled with an all out smile. “I’d like that.”
Chapter Five
Scurrying around her bedroom, Meg tried on six different outfits. “I look like a frumpy school teacher,” she said to the image in her mirror before she undressed again. She scanned the contents of her closet only to stop when she heard the doorbell. Her stomach did a flip as she looked at the readout from her clock radio. “Shit, she’s early. Pulling on a cover-up, she walked rapidly toward her front door.
Cate stood at the door to Meg’s home for several minutes asking why she thought this was a good idea. Should I leave or stay. Her body felt like it was on high alert when she finally pressed the round white button and heard the melodious sound of the doorbell. Hearing the doorknob rattle, she held her breath until the door opened and then she trembled at the sight of Meg Duncan.
Meg couldn’t believe that the woman she had fantasized about ever since they met was actually standing at her door and they were going on a date. Cate was dressed casually in worn jeans and a white long sleeved shirt with the cuffs turned up. Meg chuckled as she opened the door wider. I had that same outfit on earlier. “I’m running a little late. Please come on in.”
With appreciation, Cate took in Meg and shivered when she saw her with the short wrap that cut across trim, tanned thighs. “Thanks, I’m early.” I couldn’t wait to see you.
Gulping back the arousal that began as she hurried to the door, Meg said, “I’m glad you’re here. It won’t take me long to finish dressing. Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, I’m good. I thought we’d go to Adelphi’s…they have a decent jazz band on Wednesdays.”
Meg smiled. “That sounds wonderful—I love jazz.” She reached out and skimmed her fingers across the doctor’s arm. “We must be on the same wavelength.”
Cate’s eyes made an obvious appraisal of Meg’s body and grinned. “I think you look fantastic in what you have on.”
Meg felt her cheeks flush as she looked away from Cate’s intense gaze. “I won’t be long.” Grateful for the moment to stamp down her libido, she walked quickly to her bedroom where she let out the breath she was holding. “Damn, she’s even hotter out of scrubs than I ever imagined she would be,” she whispered as she looked in the closet again.
Cate pushed an errant strand of hair off her cheek as she watched Meg leave. She is different from anyone I’ve ever met. She finally had the courage to be on a more personal basis with Meg and that had scared her.
Reappearing, dressed in black jeans, a black camisole, and partially buttoned pink silk shirt, Meg stopped and apprised Cate who was standing at a window seemingly lost in thought. Damn she thought as her body reacted in pleasure. She coughed slightly and watched, as the doctor slowly turned toward her—she felt her nipples harden even more if that was at all possible. “I’m ready.”
When Cate turned and saw Meg standing in the doorway, it took her breath away. The only word she could think of to describe Meg was captivating—she was having a hard time breathing normally.
Chapter Six
Once Cate parked her BMW in the parking lot for Adelphi’s Bar and Grill, she got out and quickly walked around and opened the door for Meg. Taking the proffered hand, Meg slid out of the seat then stood up and found herself only inches from Cate. With the doctor’s lips so tantalizingly close, Meg fought the urge to brush her lips lightly over Cate’s lips. Slow down.
Still holding Meg’s hand, Cate said, “Shall we go?”
The mellow sounds of a saxophone wafted in the air outside the bar. Once they opened the door, they heard the smooth resonance of jazz that wafted out of speakers placed in each corner of the room. It was still early so the softly lit room with a highly polished bar and tables scattered around what looked like a dance floor, wasn’t crowded. With Meg’s hand still in hers, Cate guided them toward a table tucked in a secluded corner.
“The sound is really quite good here,” Cate said as she sat next to Meg. “It won’t be long before the place is packed.”
With a look of surprise, Meg asked, “On a Wednesday night?”
Cate nodded toward the stage area where musicians were busily setting up for the show. “Ziggy is always a big draw. I’ve seen it so packed that they had to turn people away…they just wait outside for someone to leave.”
Meg watched, as a woman who she assumed was the singer, stood in front of a mic and softly sang a rendition of the Irma Thomas song, I Need Your Love So Bad. The woman was tall with ebony skin and even from the distance Meg could tell her voice was mesmerizing. She was so into watching what was happening on the stage that she neglected to notice the young woman with multiple tattoos on her arms and neck approach the table until Cate gently touched her arm. When she looked at the doctor, she saw a grin. “What?”
Cate nodded at the woman and watched as Meg’s face flushed slightly.
Meg was certain that the question was about drinks and not food. “Oh, sorry. I’d like a Corona.”
“You guys know what you want to eat?” the girl asked as she chomped on gum.
With amusement in her eyes, Cate winked at Meg. “We’ll let you know when you come back with the drinks, Sue.” When she saw Meg’s shoulders visibly relax, she reached out and touched her hand. “This place can be overwhelming the first time you are here. It seems to have a life of its own.” She laughed. “When I first moved here I was going stir crazy one night and found an ad for Adelphi’s and thought I’d give it a try. I sat at the bar captivated by Ziggy’s band and before I knew it, the bartender said, last call. It was one in the morning and I had rounds at six-thirty.”
Meg’s eyes watched Cate’s lips move as she spoke and longed to kiss them. Her last liaison was just two days earlier and most of the time that would satiate her desires for at least a few days. When Cate touched her hand, she felt her stomach go all queasy along with the familiar tightening between her thighs—she was wet. “Sounds like I’m going to enjoy myself tonight,” Meg said as she turned her hand over and gently took Cate’s. She looked from her hand to Cate’s eyes and smiled. “Yes, I think it will be most enjoyable.”
Without a word, Cate eyes rake over Meg’s body in such a way that made Meg squirm in an effort to tamp down her arousal. So lost in her body’s demands, Meg didn’t notice that the server had returned.
“You decide what you want, Doc?” the girl asked in a deadpan voice. “You’ve been here enough to know that if you’re not eatin’ you’re gonna have to get more drinks or somethin’.”
Cate never looked away from Meg as she said, “Two hamburgers, medium rare with everything and an order of fries and we’ll have two more beers.”
The girl, unfazed by the doctor’s reply said, “You got it.” She’d seen her order the same thing numerous times. “At least someone is getting’ lucky tonight,” she mumbled as she retreated.
Still holding Meg’s gaze, Cate winked. “I hope you like hamburgers,” she said with a crooked smile. Shit, she deserves better than how I treat other dates I bring here. “Hey, I’m sorry I should have asked you what you wanted. I can call her back if you want something else.”
Meg let go of the doctor’s hand and shrugged. “A hamburger is good with me,” she said as she picked up her beer bottle and took a swig. Granted her body was screaming for attention but something was off. From the way Cate ordered and the server’s response followed by her departing comment it was obvious she wasn’t the first one to get the hamburger line. Not that she minded—it wouldn’t be her first one-night-stand and she did find the doctor appealing. Yet, the thought of a casual sexual encounter with Cate made her sad in a way she hadn’t felt before.
“Tell me about the Army,” Cate said. “How did you manage personal relationships?”
Grateful for the change of subject, Meg lifted her eyebrows. “About the way you’d expect. I joined before the, don’t ask don’t tell, policy and I think I had an easier time of it.”
“Really? Why?”
“Everyone sort of expected if you were a female and in the Army you were gay. Once the policy went into effect I felt like I had to really watch my back.”
“Did you have any long term relationships?”
“Have you?”
Cate winked. “I asked first.”
“The Army and nursing was my life and I didn’t want to jeopardize it so I never dated anyone seriously or for longer than a few weeks. I guess I was lucky enough not to run across some crazed woman who wanted forever. All the women I dated were in the Army so they all had as much to lose as I did.”
“Weren’t you lonely?”
Meg looked at the doctor and saw real interest in her eyes. “Sometimes especially in the war zones. It was hard to form lasting relationships and even harder to find a place where you wouldn’t be disturbed.” She shrugged. “It was easier for men and women to hook up.” Meg sighed and looked away from Cate’s intense gaze. “At the end of an intense, strife ridden day, we all needed to find comfort. Some found it in a bottle, or in drugs, but most found it in each other. A warm body next to yours made the ugliness we saw palatable.”
Cate gently touched Meg’s hand. “What happened today, Meg? Why did that boy have such an effect on you?”
Meg watched the band do a sound check as she considered her response. Would Cate understand or would she consider referring her to a shrink for an evaluation? After her last rotation in Iraq, she showed all the signs of having post traumatic stress disorder and sought help. She had it under control—until today. There was no way she would allow herself to go back to the days of not sleeping, or waking in a cold sweat when the nightmares she tried to squash surfaced, or the sound of a helicopter sent her mind reeling from the horrors she’d seen. What happened today was mild compared to what she had gone through five years before. Nevertheless, when she felt the images trying to take hold today, she knew she needed to take immediate control or she’d lose it all together. “What I saw everyday at the field hospitals made today look like a picnic. You can’t imagine what it is like to see so many young warriors with their bodies so damaged that even your best isn’t good enough. I held their hands and cried with them as I felt their lives slip through my fingers.” She returned her gaze to Cate. “The sounds of the helicopter and seeing that kid and knowing we probably couldn’t save him, I suddenly remembered every face of every soldier I watched die.”
Cate studied Meg wondering if she too would suffer from PSDS if she had to deal with what Meg dealt with on a daily basis in combat situations. Meg’s eyes seemed cold and detached and her face showed no emotion. I guess that is what she has to do to keep her demons at bay. “I chose to specialize in emergency medicine for several reasons,” Cate said softly “I like the rush it gives me.” She laughed. “I call it my secret lover since I feel small waves of orgasms when I hear the sound of an ambulance, the whir of helicopter blades or when someone says we’ve got an emergency.” When she realized what she’d said, Cate’s face colored.
Meg’s eyes widened and she chuckled. “You must have been going off right and left today.”
With the red on her face deepening, Cate too laughed. “Well…,” she started to say before he mind went blank when she saw Meg’s eyes turn from cold to warm. “Yes, I did. I don’t need an emergency to feel that way on Wednesdays.” She gently traced the planes of Meg’s cheek.
It was Meg’s turn to blush with the added bonus of arousal as Cate’s fingers moved softly on her face. She swallowed hard and sucked in a deep breath. Do I tell her what working with her does to me? Why not? “Then you’re not alone.”
Cate was about to lean in and kiss the lips she longed to feel when their hamburgers arrived. Pulling back, she gave Meg a smile of regret. “I hope you like it,” she said nodding toward the three baskets on the table.
Picking up her burger, Meg took a bite and then let out a low soft moan. “This is the best hamburger I’ve ever tasted,” she said before she took another bite.
Watching Meg devour her burger with gusto made Cate’s face fill with an all out grin. She studied Meg and once again was struck with how absolutely beautiful she was as her heartbeat sped up. For Cate, sex was nothing more than satisfying an urge. Although the act itself was as intimate as it got, she never considered it anything more than a means to an end. Some women wanted more but she never let that happen. Never had she had an orgasm where she gave herself completely to another. Looking at Meg, she felt the familiar stirrings of want but there was also need and that scared her. Meg made her want more.
In the background, the jazz combo was playing while Meg watched various expressions flit across Cate's face. She listened to the song that the woman, introduced as Janie, sang, and wondered if it was what made Cate go quiet. “Aren’t you hungry?” she asked.
The words brought Cate out of her reverie and she smiled. “Sorry, I don’t know where I was.” Her eyes looked at the hamburger resting in a basket in front of her. “I’m glad that you like what I ordered,” she said softly.
“Like it? I love it!” Meg exclaimed. “If there wasn’t live entertainment I’d still come here for a burger.”
Cate gave Meg and indulgent smile and picked up her burger. Before she took her first bite she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever found one that compared.” Her eyes again rested on Meg and she searched for something that was just out of reach. She put the burger back in the basket. “I’ve wanted to ask you out ever since we first met.”
“Why did it take you so long?” Meg asked teasingly.
Pondering the answer, Cate was about to answer when someone sat in an empty chair next to her. Looking at the newcomer, she frowned.
“Well, well, I knew if I came here often enough I’d eventually see you again.”
With her cheeks showing signs of a blush, Cate glared at the woman. “Christine, it’s been a while,” she said in a cold voice. Her answer was a warm hand rubbing her thigh. She briefly closed her eyes as the woman’s fingers came dangerously close to her sex. She swallowed trying to get control of her body that clearly wanted more—it didn’t work.
Meg watched the exchange as feelings of jealousy and possession vied for attention. The woman was tall, with auburn hair, eyes that looked green, and movie star good looks. It was clear that Christine’s hand was moving under the table and when she saw the look on Cate’s face go from embarrassment to pleasure, she pushed back from the table and stood up. “I need to go,” she said before she turned to leave.
Chapter Seven
Cate angrily pushed Christine’s hand away. “No,” Cate said loud enough that others in the area turned to look at her. “Please, Meg, don’t go.”
Stopping, Meg looked back at Cate and the woman next to her. In a tight voice she said, “It looks like you found what you came here for,” before she turned and walked quickly away.
Christine leaned in and whispered, “Looks like we’re finally alone. What do you say we get out of here and go to my place?”
“Get real,” Cate growled as she fished in her pocket for money then threw a twenty on the table. Panic filled her mind and body as she walked hurriedly through the throng of people toward the door. When she finally pushed open the door, she looked up and down the sidewalk for Meg. Then she saw her leaning against a streetlight with her cell phone in hand. In a matter of a minute, she was by Meg’s side. “Please don’t go,” she whispered.
“Don’t tell me you weren’t turned on by her,” Meg snarled.
“I wasn’t,” Cate lied.
“Give me a break, Cate, it was written all over your face.” When a cab pulled up and stopped, Meg stepped off the curb. “Go back to her, Cate, I’m going home.”
Frantically Cate grabbed at Meg’s arm. “I don’t want her I want you.” When Meg stopped she whispered, “I’ve always wanted you.”
“You have a strange way of showing it,” Meg countered.
“Please don’t go. Please give me a chance to explain.”
The cabbie honked the horn and lowered the window. “Do you want a cab or not?’
Meg looked back at the cab. “I’ve got to go,” she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. “You’d better get back in there I’m sure she’s waiting for you.”
Cate waved the cabbie off and was glad when she saw the man drive away.
“Why the hell did you do that?” Meg screamed as she took a step toward Cate. “Our date is over don’t you get that?”
Instinctively, Cate pulled Meg to her. “I never want it to be over,” she whispered before her lips captured Meg’s.
At first, Meg struggled and then she let Cate’s greedy lips draw hers in making her hunger for the kiss too.
When they broke apart, Cate saw the hurt in Meg’s eyes. “I’m sorry, please let me explain.”
Meg said, “I know a place we can go. Let’s go to your car.”
Chapter Eight
“Where to?” Cate asked as she started the engine.
“To a little place I know,” Meg answered. “Take a left on Walnut.”
“Ok.” Cate stole a quick look at the woman next to her and her heart cried. How could I do that to her? She deserves better…she deserves forever. Her heart warred with her mind. I’m not the forever type. Yes, you are. She’s what you’ve been looking for. Cate knew that her heart spoke the truth and that made her shiver. But can I? She stole another look and had her answer.
Ten minutes later they parked in front of a small bar named, Dusty’s. “This place isn’t as crowded or noisy as the other one,” Meg said as she opened her door and got out. She was surprised to see Cate standing next to her as she stood up.
Holding out her hand, Cate smiled. “Sounds perfect.”
Entering the bar, Cate saw only women and asked, “Is this a lesbian bar?”
“Yes,” Meg answered as she waved at the bartender who gave her a wide smile.
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“Exactly why it isn’t crowded or noisy. Those of us that come here like it that way so we don’t let others know.”
“The usual?” the barkeep asked.
Meg turned to Cate. “Is beer ok with you?” When Cate nodded, Meg said, “Two Corona’s, Jesse.”
“You got it,” the small woman with a buzz cut said.
Meg grabbed Cate’s hand and led her to a table that was in the darkest corner of the bar. As soon as Jesse deposited the bottles on the table, both women relaxed before that said in union, “Look, I’m sorry.”
Cate’s eyes knitted. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I was the one who let that woman do what she did.” She could still feel the fingers on her thigh and the arousal was still there.
“Exactly what did she do?” Meg was certain she knew the answer but felt that if there was going to be any sort of relationship between them Cate had to own up to what happened.
After taking several swallows of her beer, Cate cleared her throat and began to speak but stopped. What do I say? How can I explain? “I only dated that woman once.” She shrugged. “That’s pretty much my track record. I’ve never had what they call a serious girlfriend or relationship.”
Meg said nothing as she waited for Cate to answer the question.
“That doesn’t answer your question does it?”
With a nod, Meg said, “No.”
“You scare me,” Cate whispered. “What I feel for you makes me think of the future and not just one night.” She reached out and took Meg’s hand, pulled it to her lips and kissed it. “She rubbed my thigh and it turned me on but not for her it was for you. I’ve wanted you for so long that whenever someone touches me sexually I immediately think of you.”
With her eyes fixed on Cate, Meg digested the words and the heartfelt emotion behind them. If she were truthful, she would say she felt the same way but the fact that Cate let that woman touch her told its own story—she could never trust her to be faithful. She felt her anger take hold again. “What are you saying exactly, Cate? Your words don’t jive with your actions.”
Ashamed, Cate looked away. She’s right I did let it happen. Worst yet, I let it happen in front of her. “I know that I’m sorry doesn’t cut it and if I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t let it happen.” Her eyes once again rested on Meg’s face. “Have you ever been in a situation where something happens and it takes you so much by surprise that you aren’t even conscious of what’s going on?” Meg’s eyes remained cold. “Take today for instance when that boy was first placed on your gurney. Wasn’t there a moment when your memories of war took hold and you had no control over them?” Meg nodded. “When you realized what was happening what did you do?”
Meg pondered the analogy but had a hard time equating the two. Then she remembered the sounds of war that whirled around her as she examine the boy named Jack—she was on automatic. Nothing else was clear—her only focus was on the boy. Is that what happened to Cate? It can’t be the same thing. Surely, she had control enough to stop the woman. When she looked into Cate’s eyes and saw apprehension, she sighed. In a way, it is the same. Her eyes then took in the steady rise and fall of Cate’s breast before she focused on the mouth that kissed her not too long ago. The arousal that was her constant companion since she first met Cate demanded release.
“Take me home,” she said in a voice thick with passion. “I want to make love with you.”
Chapter 9
As Meg’s naked body covered hers, Cate felt such an intense desire that she feared she would come immediately. When she undressed Meg, she couldn’t stop her fingers from trembling or the wet that her craving produced. The first touches of Meg’s lips on her body sent her into a series of quick intense orgasms.
Cate groaned. “If you keep doing that I’m going to come,” she hissed as she lifted her pelvis to meet Meg’s thigh that was between her legs.
Meg looked down at Cate and smiled. “Isn’t that the point?” She nipped at the hollow in Cate’s throat. “But I’m not going to let that happen just yet.”
Cate ground her center against Meg’s bare thigh and felt the rush that usually preceded her climax and let out a yelp. She cried, “Please, inside now.”
“First I want to taste you,” Meg purred as her lips left a turgid nipple and began their journey down Cate’s body. She rolled her tongue in, out, and around Cate’s navel before her teeth bit it. Hearing Cate’s moan of pleasure she continued downward until she found the prize.
Cate’s clitoris was hard and elongated screaming for release. When she felt Meg’s tongue make long sweeping contact with her sex before it ran up her clitoris she trembled. Never had she allowed anyone to take her completely but now she wanted Meg to do exactly that. She held her hand on Meg’s head as her lips sucked on Cate's clit that continued to swell. “God,” she cried out. “I need you inside.”
Meg slid one finger and felt the walls clamp against it. Gently she slipped in two more fingers and Cate moaned. “Oh God, Meg.” Cate’s hips started to move in time with the lips on her clitoris.
The throbbing of her clitoris increased as Meg ground it against Cate’s thigh as she too moved in time. Soon they both stilled before they cried out as wave after wave of orgasm rocked their bodies.
Lying together in the haze that orgasms created, Meg and Cate held each other as they whispered words of love. Neither actually said the words but their hearts both beat out what their lips wouldn’t say. What would happen tomorrow didn’t matter—they had given completely and the reward was a deep sense of belonging and for the first time they both felt grounded.
Cate snuggled into Meg and sighed. “I’m going to start coming to the ER more…will you help me?”
Meg smiled and kissed Cate’s swollen lips. “I’d love to,” she said, as her body wanted more.
