Afternoon Tea

Where was he?

Madeline was worried now, hadn’t Lance mentioned that Chris looked pale, perhaps he was ill? Should she go to his cabin and inquire? She didn’t want to appear overly possessive, they had agreed from that very first day they shared the surprise afternoon tea and strawberries together, that they would do so until the end of the cruise.

Where was he?

She noticed that she had crumpled up one of the napkins that had been neatly laid out on their table. Not exactly theirs but they usually sat here everyday, and the waiter even brought her tea as she waited, without asking.

“Mr. Andrews not with you today Mrs. Smith?”

“No, not at the moment Saul. He must have another engagement.”

The waiter gave her a long look and noticed her nervous state. Over the past ten years on this ship, he had seen it all, or at least he suspected he had. The laughter, tears, happiness and sadness not to mention love and hate that ran the gamut onboard each cruise. Some he could read like a book and know exactly how it would end up by the end of the cruise. He knew there was the odd occasion when two people came together and they were meant to last a lifetime, he had that feeling about this couple.

“Well, take it from an old sailor Mrs. Smith, I’d maybe check. You never know he might be indisposed and need a little TLC.”

Madeline glanced up at the man and saw his genuine smile, along with the friendly warmth in his brown eyes. “Thank you Saul, I think I will check on him.”

As she stood up to leave, the waiter quickly retrieved something from his trolley and handed it to her.

She was surprised but grinned in appreciation, as he placed a dish of succulent strawberries into her hand. Winking as he turned to another table of passengers.

Madeline was deeply touched at his gesture, quickly walking over to the area of the deck that would take her to the bank of elevators that led to Chris’ cabin.

As she neared his door her thoughts cascaded around her, what if she was being foolish and he wasn’t ill but had wanted a break from her? They had been in each others company for most of the cruise so far.

Then her heart began to pound as she conjured up Chris’ image and the connection she felt certain they had. The logic of her mind and reasserted itself in her heart as she knocked on the door.

At first she wasn’t sure anyone had heard her, then a faint noise could be heard inside, and her smile grew as the door opened.

What she dreaded the most appeared as the door swung open and she came face to face with Kate Lancaster.

“Madeline how nice.” The sickly sweet voice made Madeline angry and confused, why was she in Chris’ room?

“I was looking for Chris.”

The nerves taking over as her voice trembled, what is she doing here? This is the reason why Chris isn’t with me.  He wants to be with Kate Lancaster! What a fool I am to think that…what, what do I think? He is too good for me, only a beautiful woman like the Kate Lancaster’s of this world would ever win a guy like Chris over. Oh God what do I do now?

“I’ll get him for you shall I?” The words were softly spoken with the inference she was disturbing them clear in her tone.

“No! No please it’s okay.” She turned away just as the door was wrenched open by Chris.

Madeline turned back to look at him; he was wearing only trousers, his chest naked. It was his quizzical eyes that she captured for a moment, failing to see the weariness in them.

“Madeline wait!”

“Why?”

“Didn’t you want to speak with me?”

Is that desperation in his voice? Then she noticed Kate’s hand on his bare arm, trailing her fingers over the flesh, Chris appeared not to notice the caress, and her heart dropped like a stone.

“I’ll catch up with you later.”

Refusing him the time to reply, she sped off down the corridor and reached the bank of elevators. Fortunately for her, the one she had just gotten off of was still there.

Chris was shocked at Madeline’s swift departure without allowing him a chance to explain. He had been woken from a drug-induced sleep by a persistent knocking on the door hoping that it was Madeline looking for him.

He’d quickly dragged on some trousers and opened the door with a wide smile, expecting to see Madeline. He was in for a surprise as Kate Lancaster stood outside his door.

“Why Chris don’t tell me you have joined the decadent society and sleep in until late afternoon?” Her tinkling laugh grated on him.

“No. What can I do for you Kate?”

“I was hoping to have a few words if you can spare them.”

“What about?”

He stood hands on hips little realizing that his upper body naked was an enticing proposition for the younger woman.

“Are you going to invite me in?” Kate was arrogant enough to think that getting him inside the cabin might just have the desired effect, and did she desire, oh boy did she!

“Okay, a few minutes I’ll find a shirt.”

Kate slipped past him so closely she brushed up against his body and was sure he must be attracted to her and not the mousy Madeline Smith! Who wouldn’t be she thought arrogantly.

Chris had to laugh silently at her egotistical attitude; damn she was a confident youngster. He had to wonder if his own daughter who was older that this little Miss in his cabin was anything like her, he hoped not.

As he left her in the small lounge area to disappear into the bedroom to get his shirt, he heard another knock on the door and groaned. It was becoming like a railway station, as he reached for a shirt he heard the door open.

Oh that’s all I need Kate giving the wrong impression. Dropping the shirt on the bed he left the room, went to the open door, and wondered about cruel fate, he really did.

So now what did he do? First thing was to get rid of little Miss Temptress.

“Did you know that Madeline was on her way to see me?” He asked angrily as he strode past her and quickly retrieved his shirt and pulled it on hurriedly.

“Why no, how would I?” Kate gave him an innocent affronted look as she pouted at his comment.

“How indeed. Kate I need to go, if you want to talk let’s do so over dinner.” He gave her a steely glance as he held open the door for her.

“Rain check then? Would you join me after dinner for a drink?” Kate was desperate, every time she thought she was making headway Madeline Smith would be there to thwart it, damn the woman.

“I’ll let you know at dinner.” He watched her walk away, head held high along the corridor. As he turned to find his wallet and jacket, the most important thing now was to see Madeline, wherever she might have gone.

* * *

She wasn’t going to answer his repeated knocking on her door and even the valet for this part of the deck had asked him what the problem was. No problem, insisting on continuing knocking on the door.

“Maybe Mrs. Smith is out, have you considered that possibility?” The young man asked him quietly.

“I know she isn’t.” Chris rounded on him angrily.

“Okay Sir, why not leave it for a couple of hours and then come back? Perhaps Mrs. Smith will be back then.” His voice indicating that it wasn’t a question but a request.

Pushing his fingers through his hair, Chris was now totally distracted as to how to solve this problem. Madeline obviously had the wrong idea about him and Kate Lancaster. Why would it matter so much to her?

Then his own internal voice answered him, would it matter to you?

Oh, god would it. I would have been devastated! As he thought that, he realized he had more than friendly feelings towards Madeline and if he was honest…he always had. Something had connected when they first met and it had been growing at enormous leaps and bounds ever since.

“Okay, I’ll be back.”

Chris turned dejectedly towards the elevators cursing his misfortune. His illness had perhaps put another nail in his coffin by allowing a situation to occur that might prevent him from enjoying at least a few more days of this special woman’s company.

* * *

Madeline thought she cried copious tears when Joe left her and asked for the divorce but this…this was worse!

How she didn’t know, and why that was a mystery or was it?

She knew deep down that she had been falling for Chris and his charm. He had a way of making her special when she had felt so ordinary in this world. Over the last couple of days, they shared thoughts and although not dreams exactly, she felt they both had been considering the future in a tentative way different to when they both started the cruise. Had it all been her over active imagination? Perhaps. After all that Lancaster woman had been in his cabin! Wasn’t that enough evidence for her to realize that he wanted her has a friend, and when it came to his sexual needs he wanted a younger more, a much more beautiful woman?

The tears flooded once more as she reached for her handkerchief and felt it wringing wet with previous tears. Then the knocking on the door started and she knew it was him!

He’d asked her, no entreated her to open the door and speak to him she couldn’t! How could she? She was in love with him and he would see that and feel sorry for her, pity her and maybe even laugh at her foolishness.

Several minutes passed as she heard the knocking, interspersed with a muffled conversation.

Then the sound ceased and she felt the silence echo all around her, suddenly hitting home, she was alone!

Only this time she felt it like a spear being driven into her heart, the pain so acute. Her previous loneliness paled into insignificance with the emotion that engulfed her.

She stared at the mirror on the dressing table, will I ever be able to smile again?

* * *

Day Eight
Breakfast

Lance had watched the man before him become more and more morose over the last couple of days. Not only that he had seen him hitting the bottle as early as ten in the morning. What was also noticeable was the disappearance of Madeline Smith, kind of coincidental. When he’d mentioned it to Cassy last night she had looked at him in despair and shook her head.

“Why Lance you are so dense.”

“I am not! Why do you say such a thing?”

Cassy looked at the man she had married and wondered what she had seen in him…oh yes his money. Funny thing was she loved the thrill of the chase but was always faithful to him. Glancing at him now she had to wonder why and then smiled, she knew all right, over the years she had simply grown used to him and the older she was getting she considered the old saying better the devil you know.

“Because my dear Lancy it is as clear as the nose on your face that Madeline is in love with Chris, and although I haven’t really had much contact with the man, maybe he’s in love with her and they have had a disagreement.”

Lance was stunned at Cassy’s supposition and pondered it for a few minutes. His face lit up as he finally decided she could be right.

How to help that is the question?

“Going ashore today Chris?”

Chris Andrews looked up at the large man who had the audacity to bring him out of his wallowing in self-pity to answer a question.

“No!”

Lance saw the glower he had been given and as they were the only two at the table so far, he thought in for a penny in for a pound.

“Oh I thought you and Madeline went ashore each time we docked.”

Chris turned the glower into a severe scowl and muttered under his breath. “No!”

“Haven’t seen Madeline around for the past couple of days, is she sick?”

“How the hell would I know? She won’t speak to me!” The words tumbled out angrily and Lance had his answer, as always Cassy was right about these things.

“Sorry Chris.”

Glancing up out of red-rimmed eyes Chris heard the sincerity in his voice, unable to continue to take it out on him or anyone else for that matter anymore. He had to resolve it with Madeline.

“Yeah, want to join me for a drink later?”

“Sure what time?” Lance hoped it wasn’t too early he wasn’t much good after an afternoon session of drinking.

“Noon, we can have a snack at the bar.” Chris smiled at the man seeing his hesitation having forgotten that he was married for a moment.

“Hey I forgot your wife, no prob….”

“No, no it’s fine Chris I’ll be there. Cassy doesn’t surface until after two.” Lance grinned at him and selected his breakfast, wondering what else he might find out today. Cassy might be proud of him if he found out the true nature of the problem on his own.

“Great.” He didn’t feel great, at the end of the day his time on this planet was limited, why not at least drink himself to his early grave.

* * *

“She’s accepted my invitation.”

Cassy Fredricks shouted to her husband who was trying desperately to sober up after his afternoon drinking session with Chris Andrews. He had planned to stick around until two and then wake Cassy as he always did; alas, that was one plan that never materialized.

He’d finally realized the time around four and unsteadily left Chris to finish his drink as he slowly made his way back to the cabin.

Cassy was still asleep in bed, she really wasn’t much of a day person and it reminded him of the early days of their marriage and how he had often joined her in bed during the day. Over the years that had declined to never, and somehow their relationship had simply slipped into a close loving friendship rather than a loving sexual one.

As he neared the bed, his mind worked overtime as he knelt on her side of the bed.

“You’ve been drinking Lance?” Cassy’s voice startled him as her green eyes caught his, strangely enough without any recrimination.

“I’ve news Cassy, you would be proud of me.” Lance quickly spurted out not wanting to face the wrath of his wife, she had a mean temper some days of the month.

“Tell me then.” Her voice filled with laughter, it had been years since she had seen this boyish enthusiasm in her husband, and she missed it.

He related the details he’d gleaned at breakfast and over the drinks and gave her a forlorn expression as he finished.

Cassy laughed at his face; he did have such an expressive face. She had been correct in her assumption... Andrews and Smith were in love.

“Guess we better do something to help then hadn’t we?”

“Really Cassy? You want to help them?”

He was surprised but happily so, it wasn’t often she involved herself with other people's romances, well never to the best of his knowledge.

“Yeah, I think they both need a break. Now don’t go asking me why just a gut feeling okay.”

Lance caught her eyes with his and the smoldering look he often gave her that she usually ignored was for once reciprocated, as she pulled him towards her on the bed.

“I think we’ll rekindle a little of our own romance Lance, then I’ll go speak with Madeline Smith.”

Lance didn’t need to be asked twice as he sank into the bed beside his wife.

“Great darling, did she accept easily?” He spluttered as soap bubbles slipped into his mouth.

“Not really, but I convinced her that spending her last couple of nights stuck in that cabin was a waste. Personally, I think she wanted an excuse to come out of hiding. Guess we’ll see later won’t we.”

* * *

After Dinner

Madeline wasn’t quite sure why she accepted the invitation from Cassy Fredricks to have drinks after dinner with her and Lance. She really wasn’t feeling great company right now, quite the opposite inside, feeling hollow and bereft of an integral part of her. Nevertheless here she was listening to Lance regale her and his wife about a new company he was going to take-over once they went home.

Staring around the bar, which fortunately wasn’t the one she and Chris…Chris how that name brought fresh tears to her eyes, and the feeling of desolation increased a thousand-fold.

“Madeline.”

It is his voice but is it purely in my mind or real?

Turning anxious eyes towards the voice she gasped as hers were captured by serious grey ones, the face etched with a sadness she felt acutely.

“Chris?”

Lance immediately saw the opportunity, although he’d manufactured it with Cassy to a degree he asked him to take a seat and have a drink.

“Thanks I will, if you don’t mind that is?” His eyes continued to hold Madeline’s, it was her permission and hers only he wanted... no needed.

“Yes it’s okay.” Madeline was trapped by his gaze the messages she was receiving silently made her heart rate increase her soul relaxing for the first time since the incidence at his cabin.

Scrapping back the chair quickly, he grinned as he settled down next to Madeline. Their eyes never leaving the others for fear that the apparition would disappear.

“Did you go…” “How did the shore…” Both started to ask a question simultaneously.

For the first time in two days they both laughed, Lance, and Cassy Fredricks applauded themselves on how easy this had been. Then Cassy looked over to the entrance to the bar and what she saw there made her blood boil.

Kate Lancaster was casting her eyes around the room, as a wicked speculative expression came over her as she saw Chris Andrews. She was used to that look, she’d used it often enough herself and it meant mischief with a capital M.

“Lance and I need to disappear for a few minutes, we’ll be back though.” Cassy dragged her husband out of his seat as he looked at her in surprise, what is going on?

Madeline and Chris looked startled as they made a quick exit, however only enough to murmur a quick bye as they turned back to each other.

Cassy made for the entrance and it became clear to Lance what was going on as they were heading off Kate Lancaster as she advanced towards their table.

“I’ve missed you Madeline.”

“I know, I’ve missed you too Chris.”

Deciding that the sooner the problem was in the open and cleared up the sooner they could overcome whatever perceived hurt there was, within them both.

“Madeline why wouldn’t you talk to me?”

Swallowing hard Madeline was finding it difficult not to cut and run, except the part of her that felt the extreme sadness and loneliness without him, cried out for her to answer.

“I thought you were busy.”

Chris shook his head and then gave her an apologetic and sympathetic look.

“If you mean Kate? She had arrived about two minutes before you did.”

Her eyes hurt as she gave him an intense glance, Chris felt it was boring into the very heart of him and he would be branded for life.

Wasn’t that the truth!

“I…I thought she, that is I thought you and she…oh god I didn’t know what to think.” The unshed tears that had glimmered in Madeline’s eyes now cascaded down her cheeks. Chris felt a lump form in his throat as he watched them gently trail down her pale cheeks. It made him feel very humble and unsure as to what to say and do next.

Finally making a decision, he dragged his chair closer, as he stretched out a hand and tenderly traced the tears that she found impossible to stop. Madeline stared into his eyes, she saw there all the answer she needed, as it held the warmth she had always seen there and now it made sense to her.

“I was a fool wasn’t I?” She gulped back her tears as Chris answered her.

Giving her a rueful smile, he leaned in closer and whispered into her ear. “Yeah but you’re my fool, so I guess that’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, for being such a bear with a sore head.” Madeline’s tears stopped as he continued to hold her gaze they were in a world of their own where no one else was allowed inside.

“No Madeline, I’m sorry for not leaving a message for you that I was indisposed that morning. Maybe you would have checked on me sooner?”

Madeline was deliriously happy at this moment; she felt as if her world was spinning so fast she might fall, except this man was beside her holding her tight and secure. Together they would see the journey to the end, be it only the cruise, or the rest of their lives.

“I would have Chris, I was worried about you. And…I guess if I think about it Kate being there was my fault, or at least in part anyway.”

“How so?” Chris was puzzled at the admission, he didn’t see Kate and Madeline passing the time of day together, never mind discussing him with any depth to the conversation.

Shamefaced she turned her eyes away and looked over his shoulder, gasping slightly as she saw Kate and the Fredricks together. Oh No! not again!

Chris heard her sharp intake of breath and the fear that carried into her eyes. Something had disturbed her as he turned to look in the direction she was gazing, seeing the object of the fearful look.

Standing up he held out his hand to Madeline and she took it gratefully.

“I think a quiet stroll on deck would be nice, and we can discuss everything at length watching the setting sun.”

Madeline did not hesitate and took the proffered hand in hers as they quickly vacated the room at the opposite end to the where their friends and Kate were.

* * *

Cassy Fredricks bee-lined Kate Lancaster and walked up to her confidently, as the woman looked past her to Chris Andrews seated by the dowdy Mrs. Smith.

“Oh Kate, are you going to join Lance and I for a drink at the bar? You did leave rather abruptly at lunch today and it would be that rain-check now wouldn’t it?”

Lance felt uncomfortable as he saw the younger woman give his wife a look that would kill, which to give Cassy her due she ignored completely. Then taking possession of the woman’s arm, she steered her away from her quarry and towards the bar.

“But I… I was going to see Chris. We had a tentative arrangement.” Kate pouted petulantly as she felt herself being taken along by the older woman.

“Oh my dear Kate don’t be a spoilsport we both know that he’s not your type.”

Kate stared at Cassy with a look of pure hatred as she saw Chris and that, that woman leave the bar! Damn, I lost him again!

“Yes Kate come on let your hair down I’m sure they’re some other guys who would really welcome the attention.” Lance laughed as he went the other side of her closing in on the bar.

Kate knew the woman had thwarted her from her task...well two can play at that game.

“Want to let me into your secret attraction to the opposite sex Cassy. I heard you are like the queen bee to all those sex starved married guys out for a one-night stand.”

Cassy sucked in a breath at the bitchy comment and saw her husband pale visibly at the comment. It was one thing for her to make hurtful comments to her husband, quite another for anyone else.

“Oh my dear Kate, why I was going to ask you the same thing. Your reputation goes before you.”

Lance decided at this moment it was prudent to order drinks and let the women battle it out, he might not comment about his wife’s activities, although he was aware of her wandering eye and he suspected that was all it was, for now anyway.

* * *

Chris had his arm around Madeline as they stood besides the railing watching the moon’s reflection on the dark blue sea below them. It was wonderfully calm water this evening, and if he had a pebble, he was sure he could skim it across the surface.

Having Madeline this close to him made his heart beat erratically, it was like a piece of a long lost puzzle clicking into place and finally the whole picture could be revealed. He felt that he had finally come home. The life he’d led before was only a sham until he’d met this woman. What he had perceived to be his true path in life was in fact just a way station until she came and took him on that final leg to paradise.

He was forty-eight years old, and had been given the most disabling news of all, that he was going to die within the year...certainly, he would not see his fiftieth birthday. He had taken it well, to him it was another mission to see through and that mission when it finally came would not see him return home. Now he cursed the fates that had given him so little time with this very special woman at his side.

Should I tell her?

Madeline felt whole for the first time in her forty-five years. As she felt the strong arm of Chris hold her tightly to him, as they watched silently the beauty of the moon glowing on the sea below. She always loved sunsets and the many colors and patterns that were strewn across the sky each evening. Sometimes it was virtually impossible to see any change, then others it was like the sky was lit with an array of fireworks. That was what she felt with Chris, sometimes it was a quiet restful time where they hardly talked but enjoyed the companionship, others it was a mass of emotions, discussions and the adventure of getting to know each other. She was in love with this man, as she had never experienced in her life before. The feelings a thousand times more powerful than with Joe, and if he walked out of her life now, she could accept it and thank god she had met him…her soulmate for even a short length of time.

Should I tell him?

“Chris I want to say something…” “Madeline we need to talk about something…” they both burst out laughing as they turned to each other.

Quizzical expressions changed to ones of intensity as they looked into each other’s eyes, the kiss that followed joined them finally together. Preventing any further thought of words as they clung to each other.

Kisses slow and easy developed into deep, long and passionate kisses, which they both gave. It was not a one sided situation both parties were set on devouring the other. The initial spark had ignited the cord that was traveling through their bodies at great speed.

Feverishly Chris placed his hands in her silky hair, lacing his fingers to touch her scalp, which only proved another area of sensual excitement. “I love you, I love you Madeline don’t leave me.”

Madeline clung to the broad back of the man who was sending corporeal messages to every fiber of her being. Gripping his shoulders, as she kissed him with a ferocity she never knew she had.

“I love you Chris, I’ve missed you all my life.”

Words of love tumbled from each of them until they finally came up for air, both sets of eyes sparkling with joy and anticipation of what would come next.

Placing his forehead on hers, they smiled slowly at each other as Chris placed small delicate kisses all over her face. Madeline was powerless to do anything but accept with alacrity his attentions. She felt that if she died tomorrow it wouldn’t matter everything in the world was right with her now.

“What would you like to do now Madeline?”

Madeline knew he wasn’t expecting her to go to bed with him, however she knew it was right if they did. They had one more night together before they went their separate ways. The very thought produced a sinking feeling in her stomach. It would be so easy to go to his or her cabin and spend the night in each other’s arms and everything would be still okay tomorrow.

“Why not walk me to my cabin Chris?”

Chris felt the heat in his loins fire up once more as he gave her a small smile, she had to make the decision, he knew it was right and he would never want to hurt her. If all they did, was kiss then that was fine with him, they would consummate the relationship if that was what the good old cosmic tumblers had in store for them, if not then that was okay too.

“It would be my pleasure Ma’am.” He held out his arm for her to take as they strolled slowly along the deck towards her cabin area of the deck.

They found words were unnecessary as they walked along, occasionally stopping to reach for a kiss and hold each other. What should have been a relatively short stroll to the cabin maybe five minutes tops, turned out to be half an hour. As they neared the cabin door, they looked into each other eyes for confirmation of what they felt mirroring in the others.

There was no doubt...it was what was meant to be, it was simply right!

“Madeline there’s a message on the door.” Chris peered at the note that hung on the door it was marked urgent.

Madeline looked at it and wondered if she could ignore it until the morning. That would smack of being selfish and she wasn’t that type of person. Maybe it was just Joe grousing that he had foot the bill for the cruise.

Taking the message off the door she read it quickly, an urgent telegraph was waiting for her at the communication office.

She crumpled the paper in her fist after showing Chris the contents, why now?

“I think a visit to the communications room might be a pleasant stroll what do you say?”

Madeline grinned at him and loved him even more for his understanding, as they retreated up the corridor to collect the message.

* * *

Day Nine
Breakfast

“Hey you left early, did you have a better invitation?” Lance Fredricks roared out at the breakfast table, as Chris looked up from the papers he had in front of him.

“Yeah, sorry about that something came up.” Chris answered rather abstractly, as his attention went back to the papers he had before him.

Lance knew that the man was not going to impart anything to him of his date he was kinda looking intense though for a man who might have had a good time with the love of his life.

“Anything interesting in those papers?”

Chris sighed heavily as he looked up again.

“Well, that’s debatable but they hold significant information.”

“Wouldn’t be inside knowledge on share dealing would it by any chance?”

“No!”

“Okay, only asking.”

“I thought maybe Madeline might be with…here with us this morning.”

“She had some bad news last night, I don’t think she will be socializing again for the rest of the cruise.”

“I know you will call me a meddler but what’s the problem?” Lance liked Madeline Smith and hoped it wasn’t too bad of news.

Chris looked up and gave him a shrewd glance.

“Her son has been lost behind enemy lines, feared captured or dead.”

Lance looked aghast at the news, she had mentioned that her son was a pilot and posted overseas in the war zone.

“I’m sorry is there anything I can do?”

“Well, if you can get me transport off this crate quicker than twenty-fours time I might be able to help him.”

Chris was astonished at the next words from the brash man.

“What do you need?”

“You can help?”

“Sure, helicopter could be on the deck in say…” he looked at his watch and pondered it a second. “Two hours if I call now.”

“You would do that?”

“Sure I would. Hey, I’m a patriot, and I have the money and the resources. What can you do?”

Chris smiled at him, a bubble of laughter set free, as he heaved a sigh of relief...he could now do something.

“I’m a military man myself, I have contacts I…we’ll find him if he’s alive.”

Lance had often wondered what this man did for a living, and now he knew it was military he considered it suited him.

Standing up Lance held out his hand to Chris, “Good luck and bring him back safe.”

Chris watched as the man strode purposefully out of the room to make the call that would have his transport here shortly. My god how you could have all your preconceived idea’s about a person shot to pieces by one act. No in the Fredericks case, it was two, they might not look a match made in heaven but they sure were angels from where he was standing.

Now to apprise Madeline of his plan, for he had one and that only needed selling to his superiors. Not an easy thing to do in the circumstance, but if he put his life on the line how could they refuse.

* * *

Taking Leave

“I can’t let you do that Chris!”

Chris was walking up and down the small cabin. As he tried to convince Madeline that his plan should at least be allowed consultation by his superiors.

“You can let me try Madeline, what have we to lose?”

Madeline hadn’t stopped crying since she’d received the short sharp direct telegraph message from her ex-husband, stating that their son had been lost behind enemy lines feared dead. It was just like Joe to advise her of such tragic news when she had no means of getting back to shore, not that she could do anything but wait had she been there.

“You might have everything to lose Chris. Why would they let you carry out such a dangerous plan for one soldier? Thousands have been lost in this way, nothing was done for them.”

Chris stopped his pacing and went over to the bed and sat down on it’s edge as he looked into the tear drenched eyes of the woman he loved, and he did love her with every fiber of her being. That meant that he loved her child too. No second measures here he wanted what would make her happy, having her son found and safe would make her happy. On the other hand, if he hadn’t survived, then knowing for sure that was the case. In his eyes it was surely more compassionate than having the years roll by with that glimmer of forlorn hope he might one-day turn up on the doorstep. He’d seen it far too often, and wasn’t going to have this inflicted on the woman he loved if he could do something about it.

“Perhaps now it’s time we did do something about it. I’m prepared to try, why not let me?”

He knew it didn’t matter if she said yes or no, because although he had only considered the plan for her son, it held merit for others too. It might be his grand finale, a good way to leave the service.

However he wanted her blessing too it was important to him, no it was more than that he needed that peace inside knowing she understood, whatever the outcome for himself on such a mission.

His gentle yet authoritative taking over of the situation the previous evening had astonished Madeline. Taking her back to her cabin, holding her close as she cried and recriminated herself for having let her son have the lessons that led him to this event in his life. He had simply held her tightly and whispered soothing words as he stroked her hair and told her everything would be all right, he would see to it. When she had eventually dropped into an exhausted sleep, he had continued to hold her as they lay on the bed together. All thoughts of consummating their relationship now trampled into the dust, how could she think of herself and her feelings for this man, her son was held captive or worse dead, it wouldn’t have been right.

“Chris?”

He looked at her with warmth that helped muster her inner strength for the events ahead. As she gave him a small watery smile, reaching over tracing her finger down his rugged jaw, the stubble of the previous hours feeling coarse and harsh against her flesh.

“You want my permission don’t you?”

The words echoed softly around the small room, so tentative were the words, and yet he now knew that Madeline understood him, probably had always understood him throughout time! Oh god what fanciful imagination was he into now, is this what love did to you scrambled all the grey matter?

“Yes, I need you to understand and give me your blessing Madeline it is very important to my peace of mind. I would go ahead anyway darling but I need to know you support me. Just knowing you were there backing me up, I would feel like an army on my own.”

His eyes never left hers as he saw the tears shimmering and the understanding shine out of them. “You do what you think will help Chris, you have my blessing, my heart and…my soul will travel with you always.”

They smiled briefly as the words settled around them. A bond meant that they would always be together, no matter what.

“I’ll find him for you Madeline, rely on me.” His declaration firm as he clasped her hands within his larger ones, relishing the prospect of having this woman in his life, for as long as he had left. Now that was something they hadn’t discussed yet, when he came back that would be soon enough.

“Chris you’re just one man though and although you say you have contacts surely it would need a general or a senator to help us.” Madeline spoke haltingly as her fingers entwined in his, seeking the comfort and love he so freely gave.

“I have resources Madeline that’s all I can tell you at the moment.”

He pulled her closer holding her against his shoulder, feeling her shiver as she burrowed further into him. As they settled together on the bed side by side again for the time left alone before the transport Lance Fredricks had arranged arrived.

“Chris as it’s your idea will you have to go too?”

Wanting to lie to her and save her more pain. He couldn’t, she would need the truth and he never wanted to keep things from her, ever!

“Yes darling, I will have to go too! I’ll come back to you though that’s a promise.”

“Are you sure you want to give that promise?” Madeline lifted expressive eyes to stare into his.

Chris looked at her exchanging glance for glance, her tear streaked face, making it blotchy and even plainer than normal. Not to him though, never to him!

“I’ve waited all my life for you Madeline Smith. To hold you in my arms, to whisper words of love, to keep you from hurt, to share in your joy, to live with you until I take my last breath. Darling I want to give that promise and more, I love you inside me. I’ve always loved you.”

She tried but it was impossible to stem the flow of the tears that now washed over her and Chris at his heartfelt words. Who said men couldn’t be as sensitive as women when it came to someone they loved.

“I love you Chris, beyond expectations, and reason. I feel my life has been lonely until you entered it and suddenly there you are to ignite the flame of my waning light. You have given to me a freedom beyond words filling my heart with joy, my soul has finally found its other half.”

Chris bent slowly to kiss her gently, their lips met once more sending shock waves through their bodies, creating an excitement that craved more and would always do so.

The knocking on the cabin door had Fredricks voice shouting that the helicopter arrived, breaking them apart.

“It will be okay darling, I promised you remember?” He saw the fearful look travel quickly over her features and hoped she understood.

“I know and I believe you. There is nothing on this earth that can prevent it my love, I know that now.”

“I have to go.” Chris kissed her tenderly and stroked her cheek fleetingly with his fingers.

“I know you do.”

Madeline moved off the bed and couldn’t help it as he moved towards the door to acknowledge Lance Fredricks, quickly flinging her arms around him, hugged him tight, whispering fiercely.

“Don’t ever leave me!”

Chris glanced down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, he loved her so. He even felt the tears building up in him and he couldn’t allow that, not now, later when they were together again!

“I won’t ever leave you Madeline. You are a part of me as I am you, we will never be alone again, either of us.”

He disengaged the arms carefully and gave her a grin, like a Boy Scout off on a great adventure. How could she do anything but smile as he left her.

“I’ll call you when you get home tomorrow, trust me darling I’ll take care of everything.”

He opened the door to a solemn Lance Fredricks and left her standing in the middle of the room. Her thoughts now centered, for she knew he would, her whispered words lost as he closed the door.

“Take care of yourself too Chris, I want you to come home safe to me as well!”

* * *

The Future
Reflections Of A Promise

Madeline stared out of the window of her room, overlooking a small play area for the children of the relatives who visited the residents of the nursing home she was now a resident of.

Her hand traced the rather worn leather tooled binder of the volume on her lap. Smiling as she opened the first page of the personal journal, it was such a wonderful friend to her for many reasons.

In it, she had chronicled the last forty years of her life. Prior to that, she ruefully admitted she hadn’t lived, contrary to her forty-five years on the planet at that time.

She had seen so much in that time, and made some really unusual and lasting friendships that would never have been possible had it not been for her husband leaving her. The unexpected cruise had been the turning point in her life. So much, so that she countered the hysterical accusations from her ex-husband about their son so well on her return, he wondered if she was the same person. Their son having gone missing in action in Vietnam created a chasm between her and Joe that lasted… well for the rest of their lives.

The highlight of her change had been the total surrender to a love that she thought only existed in the minds of writers of romances or poetry.

For her it had been real, so very real in one Christopher Andrews.

The single tear his name and presence brought to mind had always been a source of much ribbing from her friends and family. Never in ridicule, she felt in bewilderment, that this one person had such a profound effect on her.

As her fingers turned the pages, she smiled at the various entries, especially the early ones…

It’s been a week since Chris left on the mission as he called it. He was so sparked up and ready for the assignment, I can even see his expression it would be the same as when he left me on the ship, the boyscout look.

He said he would be back soon, I hope so I miss him dreadfully.
.

A Week Later

Still no word from Chris! The waiting is horrendous and to make matters worse Joe is being a pain. I’m glad that Chris is my strength, even though he’s not here beside me physically. Inside he’s right there holding me as he did the last time we were together on the ship. I felt so warm and secure in his love it was how my soul remembered it from long ago.

Three Months Later

I can’t believe it he’s here…

The entry brought further tears slipping slowly down her paper-thin skin over her cheekbones. Her mind retreated down memory lane re-enacting the scene as if it was yesterday.

“Hi.”

A voice she thought she might never hear again rang out in the morning stillness, was she dreaming and it was a figment of her imagination? Turning with a slow dream-like quality she blinked several times before being engulfed in a bear hug.

“Mom, it’s so good to see you and come home.”

Richard swung her around several times laughing at her shock and giving her indulgent glances as she cried with relief at the sight of her missing son.

“Darling, how? When? Why didn’t they tell me?”

Madeline couldn’t believe it! Here he was her son Chris had done it! He had brought her boy home, now where was he?

“Mom, mom it was a surprise, hopefully a good one.” Richard winked at her as he placed her firmly on the ground and placed his arm about her shoulders as they walked towards the house.

Placing her arms around his waist, she held onto him fiercely.

“A surprise! Of course, it is a surprise. Did someone put you up to this?” Chuckling as she thought that it would be just like Chris to make this a homecoming to remember.

“I was sent home as soon as my transport hit the States, kinda strange but I didn’t care. Who had the powerful friends or pulled strings, Dad or maybe…?” He didn’t complete the sentence as he smiled at her warmly.

Richard recalled the other transit personnel had to be de-briefed but he was astonished when told by his commanding officer that wouldn’t be necessary. He could go home on leave for a couple of weeks and then return for de-briefing and re-assignment.

“Oh I suspect it might have been your father.”

Madeline supposed that Chris might have had to keep things quiet and she wasn’t going to say anything to jeopardize that position, after all, it didn’t matter as long as Richard was safe. When Chris came home, they could discuss it later.

“Mom I have something for you?”

Pulling his mother towards the kitchen where he had deposited his bags. Madeline’s heart was beating madly could it be a message from Chris? Better yet could it be Chris and Richard was being evasive, that would be the kind of thing Chris would do as well, tease her.

“Okay, okay I’m right with you.”

Madeline glanced around the room but couldn’t see anyone else inside the room and there wasn’t any evidence of someone else in the house.

Richard opened one of his duffels and reached inside to pull out a small package wrapped in brown serviceable paper, on the front simply Madeline.

Glancing at his mother quizzically, he handed her the package. She held it as if it were a newborn child so very tenderly. Her fingers felt numb as she felt the weight of the package it certainly wasn’t just a letter.

“General Andrews, asked me to give you this.”

The words echoed solemnly around the room, they held such finality to them that she looked up in surprise and saw the serious expression in his eyes.

Fingering the package, once more she wanted to open it alone, as she whispered.

“I…I didn’t know he was a General, he was just Chris to me.”

The words plaintive and made her son bow his head for a second, as he contemplated that the man who had given this package. Clearly he was very important to his mother, it was in her eyes and the way she spoke.

“He wasn’t until two months ago. He was awarded his fourth star when his first daring rescue mission to rescue captives was a great success.”

“First rescue mission?” So that was why he wasn’t here with Richard, his new promotion meant that he had to oversee more rescues.

“Yeah he was a very brave man, we’d heard crazy stories about him and his men before, but having seen first hand his work we knew he was a credit to his country.”

One word that Richard used sent her stomach to the darkest pit and refused to surface again! WAS

“Was a credit Richard, surely he is would be a better term?”

Her fingers clutched the package tightly as she waited for her son to explain. His features were strained he had been so caught up in how he pictured the General that he forgot that his mother knew him and might not know….

“Mom, how well did you know him?”

“Does it matter? That wasn’t the answer to my question.”

“I know Mom and I’ll answer how about you sit down.” He steered her to the nearest chair and then sat opposite her as he caught her pensive eyes. He loved his mother he didn’t want to hurt her but he felt that this news was going to do that, possibly even more than if it had been about him.

“I’m now seated Richard, why not tell me what you know.”

Clearing his throat, which had become dry and felt like scratch paper. How did you tell this kind of news? Then he looked at his mother and knew it had to be straight talk. That was the way she was and had always been.

“General Andrews wasn’t the type of guy to sit and command, he was one to pit his wits in the thick of things. Especially if it was one of his plans and this one was, no one else wanted it they called it a suicide mission.”

Madeline didn’t move she waited for the whole story her breath held in stasis.

“He proved them all wrong when he got us out, thirty of us and we took one causality in it all, only minor too. They had been taken by surprise and couldn’t handle Andrew’s crack team. We arrived back to the nearest base of operation in the interior and waited for the flight to take us out to safe ground within the week. That was when I met him for the first time face to face.”

Richard stopped as his face mirrored the awe he felt at that meeting. He was even more surprised when the General signaled all the others to leave them for a few minutes. As he placed the package on the table in front of him, he had been so…overwhelmed by the General’s presence that he couldn’t speak never mind look at what was in front of him.

“He asked me if I was okay, how I was doing and if I would take a personal package to someone very special to him.” Richard saw the glazed look that overcame his mother as he spoke, could she have been in love with the General? Surely not! Could they have ever met? He was noted for being a playboy and only had eyes for the prettiest and youngest of women. As much as he loved his mother, she certainly didn’t fit that bill. Maybe they were cousins or something.

“Go on.”

“I said of course it would be a pleasure to do something for the General. He got up to leave and his last words were, make her proud soldier she’s the best.”

“He meant you didn’t he Mom?”

Madeline wasn’t to be re-directed, “go on Richard, please.”

“Next day we heard that there were twenty of our boy’s being held prisoner on the other side of the area. He didn’t waste any time he regrouped and left. I remember how he looked Mom so dignified and he had the expression like a boy-scout on a great adventure.”

That tore at Madeline as she heard that picturing it clearly herself, her Boy Scout.

“He didn’t come back did he?” the words tripped out so softly Richard was sure that was what she said, as he reached across and placed his warm hand on hers in compassion.

“They met heavy resistance, seems the information was suspect but it was too late by then they had committed themselves to the task at hand. Only two men out of the seven survived and they both died within forty-eight hours, I guess they made it home to tell the story.”

“Chris?”

“General Andrews held off a barrage when seriously injured himself to allow the two men to escape. They said he was a hero and I don’t think anyone would doubt that not if they had ever known him.”

Madeline felt the solitary tear slowly roll down her cheek as she realized that the gut ache she had been experiencing for over a month now, thinking it to be Richard was in fact Chris, he was dead, he hadn’t kept his promise to her.

Then she looked up into the grave expression of her son and she gave a small wry smile. Chris had done exactly what he had said he would do...he had brought her son home to her and safe too!

Tearing open the package she felt rather than saw her son stand and leave her, understanding that she would need to do this alone.

Inside revealed a velvet box and a letter. Placing the box gently on the table she ripped open the last communication she was going to receive in this life from Chris, the thought shattered her heart as she stared at the contents.

My Dearest Madeline,

I love you! You knew that of course but always good to remind my girl.

Here he is my love, home safe just as we planned. Oh, okay as I planned but you were with me every step of the way. It couldn’t have happened without your strength inside me, willing me along.

I can see him from my position as I write this to you and I can see some of your mannerisms in him that bring you so very close to me darling. It makes me crave to have you in my arms again. I can’t seem to get that out of my mind it is such a precious memory for me, and one so very dear to my heart.

I want and need you so much that it takes my breath away to think about it, and watching your son I realize how close and yet so far apart, we are.

Okay I’m rambling but this above all else you must remember Madeline, Our promise.

I will come back to you darling, if not this lifetime the next. I’ll wait for you whatever it takes, but please don’t take so long next time.

Always yours,
Chris

PS,
I wanted you to have these they were the best part of my life until I met you.

Tears now flooded her cheeks and rolled down her neck soaking her skin and the shirt she wore, as her fingers clutched the box prizing open the catch.

Inside were several medals for differing commendations and the telegraph telling him of his appointment to General.

Now she knew he was gone physically but always he would be there with her in spirit as he always had been and always would be.

Whispering to the empty room.

“I’ll hold you to that Chris, be waiting for me when it’s my time.”

Now her fingers traveled over several entries as her tears still refused to subside, it was like watching a movie but this was her life she was watching.

Entries about Lance and Cassy Fredricks, strangely enough they had remained friends to the point she had moved closer to them and when Richard left the Air Force and moved to the area too.

Over the years things changed and she went through the motions, a part of her had died with Chris but the other part of her still wanted to experience life for them both. She had too he would expect no less, surprising her and her friends.

Richard had help in raising finances from Lance, to open a small commercial airfield. He had even fallen for and managed to tie down the wayward pilot he inherited from the old airfield owner. Jenny Plato wasn’t the marrying kind until she met Richard, and suddenly her wayward ways curtailed dramatically and they had three children over the years. Madison the youngest at twenty-eight was due to see her today. She always came over twice a week to see her when she was in town. Madison loved to listen to the stories of the old days, though Madeline suspected she had a soft spot for the romance between her and Chris.

One of the entries reminded her of the visit she made to Chris’ hometown. It was a small town and when she had asked about the Andrews' lumberyard, some of the older folk’s remembered and gave her a small history of the family. At the end of the day Chris’ father died six months after he had, some say of a broken heart, as his eldest son wasn’t ever going to follow in his footsteps. Jason almost bankrupted the company before it was taken over by a larger company. She had inquired about Chris’ daughter discreetly but the old folks loved to talk, and recalled her as a lonely child who always appeared out of place, she had left home at eighteen and hadn’t been seen since. Not even her mother who remarried and had a couple of other children knew where she was. Over the years, she’d tried to find out the whereabouts of Chris’ daughter but she had drawn a blank, some people didn't want to be found.

Then she stopped at another interesting entry it was the day she met Chris’ friend and ex-lover Sophia Clarence.

The door to her room opened and in stepped her granddaughter, who looked more like a schoolgirl than a mature woman.

“Darling you are late.”

Madeline smiled at the child who reminded her of Chris in so many ways, his serious side tempered with great compassion and she planned everything down to a fine detail. Jenny wanted her only daughter to take up the piloting business but she refused, going to college and then dramatically joining the army. Interestingly enough no one knew exactly what branch she entered as she never discussed her works as she called it.

“Sorry Gran but Dan had a package he wanted delivered in town and I was out this way so you know what big brothers are like, especially Dan.”

The soft chuckle warmed Madeline as it touched her heart. Madison seemed to touch her very soul from the day she was born. As she grew they became closer perhaps even more so than the relationship with her parents.

“No problem you are here now.” Madeline placed a hand on the chair back indicating for Madison to sit but the young woman ignored the gesture and stared out of the window.

“I have to go back to my unit on Friday Gran, something has come up.”

“I know.”

Madison turned startled eyes to her grandmother and then chuckled softly.

“Yeah of course you do, you always have. What are you reading?”

Madeline had always been able to read this child like a book and at times she wondered if Chris’ spirit wasn’t reborn in her granddaughter so that they could be together. It always made her smile self-consciously at that thought...she must be getting senile thinking that way.

“Well, my journals the early ones.”

“Oh great they’re the best! Want to tell me where you are up to?”

Madeline grinned at the exuberance from the child, it was quite at odds with her career choice and yet…it did remind her of Chris.

“Okay young lady I’ll tell you about the first time I met Sophia Clarence shall I….”