Dedication: For two very good friends who have a wonderful sense of humour, Vi & Packer. This story is for you both, I hope you enjoy it.

Acknowlegement: My beta readers Alice, Packer, Vi and Mel as always my grateful thanks can’t do it without you all.

Part One

“He’s dead Di, get over it!”

“I can’t!”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“It’s none of your business, leave it alone, S G.”

“I’ve left it alone for too long, five years too long, it’s time to move on, Di, or you will be joining him and he wouldn’t want that would he?”

“Don’t be ridiculous there’s nothing wrong with me, I need more time that’s all. How would you feel if you were in my shoes?”

Flicking back her red hair, S G Ryan contemplated that very question. She’d already been there ten years previously when her dad had died of a heart attack suddenly. Okay in this case Dilana had nursed her father through the last months of his illness and she’d never been the same since, the parallels were there all the same. “I was. Remember when my dad died? Come on honey you know you’re wasting away here in this apartment. Why not have a change of scenery and I’ll even have the publishing house stump up the rent for three months, what do you say?”

Flashing grey eyes turned to her publisher and friend angry at the offer, she didn’t need charity. “I’m not a charity case I can pay my own way!”

“Great, because I have just the right place all ready and waiting all I need is a go from you.”

Blonde straggly shoulder length hair that had seen better days, lank and partially unkempt, swung around as the woman became agitated. She hadn’t said she was going to consider it, never mind accept, what was S G up to? “What’s the catch?”

S G had watched her friend go from extremely talented, outgoing and generous of nature to morose, critical, despised and solitary, the talent was still there someplace though no one lost that kind of natural gift. She’d written three best sellers and was notching up celebrity status when her father had contracted a viral illness that within three months had killed him, leaving his only child in denial. She was about the only one of her old friends and acquaintances who hadn’t baled out and at times she’d felt like it. First and foremost Dilana was a friend and she wanted her friend back as simple as that, though it wouldn’t hurt her publishing business if the writer decided to write again.

“No catch, Di, please for our friendship take the time out and do this for me. I found this marvelous ocean villa and you know how you love the ocean. Private beach too enables you to keep your solitude.”

Snaking a nervous hand through her greasy hair Dilana pulled a face and stared hard at her friend. S G was simply the only friend she had, and no matter how vitriolic she had been to her the woman came over three times a week and brought her groceries, and even cooked for them both on a Saturday night. At first she had assumed it was because she was a hot commodity and that her writing was the only thing that mattered to the publisher. Five years later she was a has-been, her money virtually dried up after the medical expenses and from her lack of work in the ongoing years. S G still came around and though they had talked of her writing again there had been no pressure. Until today her friend hadn’t asked her to do anything, and now she had how could she refuse, even if she wanted to?

“Where is it?”

“A wonderful small town a few hours away, you’ll love it. There’s a housekeeper who will look after the house and the cooking when you want it, if you like I’ll drive you there and if you don’t like it I’ll bring you straight back. Please, Di, I know you’ll love it”

S G smiled warmly at her friend, even if she had let herself go the past five years, Dilana was still a very striking looking woman and had broke many a heart since they had known each other. Fortunately for her she loved the woman only as a friend, others hadn’t been so lucky, though none had stood the test of her mega breakdown. Maybe things would have been different if she had been in a long-term relationship when her father had taken ill they would never know.

“Okay, I’ll go but if I don’t like it I want to come back.”

“You got it girl now go pack and we’ll go today.”

“What! Why the rush?”

“Hey I know you if I let you think about it you’ll chicken out. I say we go now and this way you don’t have time to think about it, so go get your stuff.” Hugging the woman as she chuckled at her startled expression.

“Have a shower too, we’ll be traveling for about six hours and it’s hot out there today.”

It was the best subtlety she could think of in the circumstances; didn’t Dilana think she needed to shower? “Okay, I’ll be ready in half an hour.”

Watching her friend leave the room she sighed, I hope to God this is a good decision on my part. It can only go two ways I guess good or bad. Placing a call to the agent who was holding the villa for her she confirmed that they would look over the house today for a possible rental minimum of three months with the possibility of extending it to six if Di loved it as she hoped she would.

* * *

S G had prayed that the weather would hold. The forecasters had predicted a changeable day but when they arrived eight hours later; mainly because of traffic hold ups on the outskirts of the city they left, they were both ready for a drink and something to eat.

The realtor was waiting for them as they finally drove up to the beach villa. It was a medium sized property, however it had been well looked after and was very easy on the eye. Made you think you were in the Mediterranean and not small town America.

“What do you think?”

“Looks okay.” The voice sounded bored, uninterested as they got out of the car and walked towards the realtor.

“Ms. Ryan?” Hands were shook as Dilana hung back she didn’t want to get involved, at the moment she wanted to go home.

Ten minutes later she had looked around the villa and longed to go back home, this had been a bad idea.

Walking towards the balcony that overlooked the private beach she rested her arms on the balustrade and took in the sight.

Great! A so called private beach and there was someone dead center.

“I thought you said this was a private beach?”

The agent looked at the back of the blonde who had said little, actually nothing at all, as she had taken the two women round the villa. Now she decides to speak and her tone was negative to say the least as she turned to await the answer to her question.
“It is why do you ask?” She had never seen such cold eyes in her life and felt a shiver pass down her back at the glacial stare.

“Well, unless my eyes deceive me someone is on this private stretch of beach. Take a look for yourself.” A bored expression crossed the writer’s features she was definitely going home no matter what S G said.

As the agent looked at the trespasser the only word she emitted was “Oh.”

“Oh? Is that all you can say?”

“Yes, that is… no! Sorry, it’s only Rachael. I’ll explain to her, I promise she won’t be back.”

Something in the woman’s tone peaked Dilana’s interest. S G watching was fascinated this was the most conversation she’d heard from her friend to anyone except her for five years. This was progress without a doubt.

“Wait! You know who she is, is it common practice for her to invade private beaches?”

“Not exactly you see she lives at the local orphanage but she loves the sea and the owner let’s her visit when she wants.”

“She’s obviously not a child, what is she doing in an orphanage at her age?”

“Her parents were killed in a boating accident when Rachael was twelve. She didn’t have any family so she made her home with the nuns and works as a teacher during the day. I’ll go now and talk with her.”

As the realtor walked towards the door, grey eyes scrutinized the small figure that watched, fascinated, the waves lapping gently at her feet. The woman never moved and the sea didn’t appear to want to encroach her space either, almost as if they had an affinity to each other. Poseidon’s Daughter, now where had that spark in her imagination come from?

“Wait! Let her stay, she can come and go as she pleases, it won’t bother me.”

S G grinned infectiously, “Does that mean what I think it means?”

Dilana turned sharply from her view of the beach and the solitary woman, taking in first her friend and then the anxiously waiting realtor. “Yes, I’ll take it.”

Punching the air in triumph S G mouthed, Yes, making the arrangements with the realtor who was stunned but happy at the outcome, these city folks had strange ways.

Dilana turned her eyes back to observe the young woman on the beach, definitely Poseidon’s daughter she had to be. Her thoughts churning away, it occurred to her that it would make a great title for a story.

S G let the realtor out of the door observing her friend silently taking in the scene from the balcony area, a good call. Yep she’d made a good call and one day Dilana was going to thank her for it, she just knew it!

* * *

One month later…

“I don’t know why it matters, who gives a damn!” the words hit with a ferocious force every wall in the wonderfully acoustic beach villa Dilana had temporary custody of. The angry woman stalked around the room ready to rip off the nearest head had there been one, fortunately for her there wasn’t that was one murder charge she didn’t have to contend with.

Frustrated that her thoughts, which plagued her at night when she dreamed refused to come to fruition during the waking hours. Her attempts to note anything down even had the local housekeeper pulling her hair out at the untidy appearance of notes all over the house. Not that that was her normal mode of writing, it wasn’t, but when she finally did think of something to write it was usually when her laptop was snugly packed away, at one time it would have been pride of place the center of her world now it often didn’t see the light of day. S G had mentioned that maybe she should get herself a desktop and leave it on all day, that way when the urge came she could write at any time even the middle of the night.

What did S G know? The publisher had left her here hadn’t she, and it sure wasn’t working out!

Walking over to the balcony that overlooked the private stretch of secluded beach she decided that today was a good day for a run and when she came back maybe it would bring back her muse. As she looked towards the steps down to the beach she saw the lonely figure of the young woman who came to the beach at pretty much the same time every day, almost without fail. Sunday was the exception, which surprised her at first but then she did live with a bunch of nuns so religion might be a heavy part of her life as well.

Striding purposefully towards the spot where the woman always stood, she must have a mark on the beach that told her that was the precise point. Not that she had measured it or anything but as the woman stood at the exact spot on the beach so did she on the balcony. Was she a peeping tom? No couldn’t be, it was her stretch of beach wasn’t it she should be able to watch at anytime…however it wasn’t anytime. Everyday she took her coffee and watched the ocean, or so she told herself, at the same time the woman did.

Standing beside the silent much smaller person, barely reaching her shoulders with brown…no chestnut flowing hair that went half way down her back shining in the sunlight. Her eyes moved to the horizon that appeared to fascinate this daughter of the ocean, funny how she thought of her that way. Bored with her observation she decided to take the situation a step further.

“It’s a beautiful day.”

There wasn’t a reply to her observation or any movement, hadn’t the woman heard her?

“I guess you’re the small silent type huh?” Di smiled wryly, what a dumb comment. Then was stunned as she received the brightest and most glorious glance from deep azure eyes, which captured hers easily as the brilliance of the sun created a hallo effect around the woman. Conjuring up a sense of peace and tranquility that the greatest painter would give his all to paint and the poet would pen a lyrical prose at the sight.

Her eyes appeared to twinkle as her delicately shaped mouth curved into a shy smile. The writer was unable to voice her words gazing into the innocent depths, was this like looking into the essence of the ocean? Feeling shaken and disturbed by this encounter, was the woman for real? Maybe all those years she’d spent in the apartment mourning her father had sent her a ticket to the funny farm rather than this idyllic hideaway. Oh god now she was definitely losing it, less than an hour ago she was cursing being here at all and now…now look at her she was a dithering idiot unable to put a coherent sentence together, at least verbally. Her mind however was drumming up scenarios for her to write and she couldn’t keep the pace.

“I guess I’ll see you around.” Di virtually raced towards the villa mounting the steps as fast as she could, making for the laptop and switching it on praying her burst of muse wouldn’t depart before the machine booted up.

Settling into the seat bringing up a blank document she penned the title, In Search Of Poseidon’s Daughter her fingers flew over the keys as the jumbled thoughts vented onto the screen.

Mrs. Drummond the housekeeper chose that time to enter the house and was amazed to see the morose current resident of the house actually doing something other than moping about the place like a lost sheep. The other young lady who had employed her was far nicer, pity she hadn’t realized at the time that she wasn’t the one her services were required for, because after the initial meeting with Ms. Sterling she would have gladly never come back again. Fortunately the woman didn’t expect much of her and paid well, and at least she could make sure the place didn’t go to rack and ruin, because this young woman didn’t seem to care about anything not even herself.

“Would you like some coffee Ms. Sterling?”

A mumble came from the totally engrossed writer as she continued to stare at the screen and tap away at the keyboard. Reminding the older woman of her grandson who did exactly that, these new fangled machines confused her, what was wrong with the good old-fashioned paper and pen she wondered?

“I’ll set a pot going and fetch you a mug a little later.” As she closed the door she was shocked to hear something she hadn’t in the month she’d worked for this woman, a thank you!

Pottering about the classically modern kitchen she looked out of the window towards the beach and smiled, there was young Rachael at the same place, what a pity it was for her, and such a tragedy she was a lovely person. Rachael could show that young lady in the next room a thing or two about politeness and manners even though she was at a disadvantage being mute after witnessing her parent’s deaths fifteen years earlier in a freak boating accident.

Just as Rachael arrived she left, slipping quietly away, if it wasn’t for the fact she did this virtually everyday you could convince yourself that you imagined she had been there she was so unobtrusive becoming part of the scenery.

The warmth the young woman emanated had a good effect on everyone who met her, perhaps it was doing the same on the writer, they say you never knew who your guardian angel was in this life.

Feeling generous she made the writer a club sandwich and collected a mug of coffee depositing a tray at her side as quietly as possible. Her Bob never liked being disturbed when he was reading the paper suspecting this was a similar situation, discreetly moving away to leave the room.

Once more she was shocked as she stared back at the writer. “Thanks for the food and the drink Mrs. Drummond, I appreciate it.”

Smiling, confront for the very first time with a genuine note of appreciation, softening the dour features that usually etched the younger woman’s face. “You’re welcome Ms. Sterling.”

Leaving the writer to her scribbling or whatever you called it on a computer screen.

* * *

Over the weeks Di wrote until she fell into exhausted sleep and ate only if it was placed directly in front of her. The muse had certainly come back full force, was it five years of unwritten fiction waiting to spill out onto the screen? She didn’t know and didn’t care as long as it carried on. S G when she arrived later in the day was going to be amazed that she had a rough first draft of her new novel for her to read.

S G hadn’t seen her in over seven weeks and in that time she had become a virtual workaholic expect for one thing, everyday at the same time she’d grab a coffee and walk to the balcony and wait for the silent woman to come to her place on the beach. For the first week she didn’t venture down again but then fascination got the better of her and on the pretext of offering the woman coffee she’d taken two mugs down with her.

Those marvelous compelling azure eyes captured hers in a hypnotic gaze making Di feel like she was out of control but wonderfully so. Eventually she called it her inspiration; yeah the silent woman was her inspiration. Now everyday except Sunday they watched the sea and drank coffee for half an hour and then the woman would turn to look deeply into Di’s grey thoughtfully quizzical eyes smile warmly, mouthing goodbye and left!

At first it was unsettling eventually Di found it restful and she had to admit it soothed her, especially when she was writing a difficult piece of her story. The aura around her ‘silent friend’ settled her down and she usually spent the rest of the day writing solidly, which was why she had something for S G so soon.

As the weeks had gone on Di had even found that Mrs. Drummond was a font of information and her heart broke as she was told the tragic circumstances surrounding Rachael and her silence, it all made ironic sense. Funny thing was to her it didn’t matter if Rachael talked or not just being with her was enough, words didn’t matter and for one in her profession that was some admission but in this case absolutely true. Rachael’s eyes spoke for her at least that was what Di thought. Glancing at her watch as she heard the crunch of gravel on the drive, Mrs. Drummond wasn’t coming over today it was her grandson’s birthday and she was helping her daughter with the arrangements, so who was it?

Opening the door to the ‘intruder’ she grinned as she saw her friend at the door. “You’re early, what did you do leave at dawn?”

S G Ryan was pleased with herself as she looked at her friend, what a change almost three months here had provided. This was her friend of old, the sparkle in her eyes, the ready smile at her lips and she looked great too, her hair was brushed to a silky gloss and actually had been styled. Not only that she had put on a little weight, Mrs. Drummond must be good for Di.

“Well, hi yourself can I come in or are you going to chat with me on the doorstep.”

“No, S G its great to see you.” She engulfed her friend in a hug and laughed, the sound and action bringing a lump to S G’s throat, this was good to see.

“I know I’ve been missing for a while but how are you?” Following Di into the kitchen as she watched her friend put on the coffee and select a couple of jars containing different cookies that the housekeeper had made for her.

“I feel great, what about you?”

Removing her jacket and placing her overnight bag on the counter she winked at her friend, “I’m good too, actually better than good.”

“Tell me more.”

“I will. Lets go and sit on the balcony I’ve been cooped up in that car too long, the view and fresh air will do wonders for me, we can trade secrets like we used to.”

Smiling, Dilana picked up the coffee mugs and pointed to the cookie jars and they walked out onto the balcony. Half an hour later they were laughing at the way their lives had changed in a short time.

Looking up right on time Di discreetly saw Rachael arrive and for the first time ever the woman looked towards the villa and right into her eyes, then they moved to the woman who was animatedly talking to the writer. The azure eyes turned away towards the horizon and her normal view.

A part of Di wanted to leave S G and spend her normal time with Rachael but that would be unforgivable and she doubted she could explain away her rudeness. Oh well it was the weekend and one day wouldn’t hurt surely, sometimes she wasn’t even sure Rachael knew she was there. Tomorrow was Sunday and Rachael didn’t come over anyway, it was usually the day that dragged on the most, not that she was prepared to admit it to anyone…even herself.

“Is my company so boring you’re having to stare out to sea?” Chuckling as Di’s cheeks stained red spluttering out an apology.

“No! No of course not, whatever gave you that idea? You chose the view remember?”

Giving her a thoughtful look at her defensive rejoinder, she allowed her gaze to travel to the place the writer’s had been. “Yes, I did.”

A half smile crossed her lips as she saw the figure of the young woman who had been there that first day they had arrived, perhaps Di was holding out on her, maybe she had a secret or two she was keeping to herself. Placing a hand on the writer’s shoulder she squeezed it in warmth.

“It’s a marvelous view…I’m pleased you’re happy.”

“I am, thanks for finding it for me.” The double meaning wasn’t lost on S G as she nodded her head at the softly spoken words.

“You’re very welcome my friend, now come on what’s the surprise?”

Dilana’s face cleared of its pensive observation of the beach as it became wreathed in smiles. “You’re going to love it, be right back.”

Laughing as her friend ran from the balcony heading for the sunroom. This was wonderful to see her friend almost the woman she was before her father died, I wonder why? Her eyes turned back to the beach with the woman still in the same position she had been before.

Suddenly the woman on the beach turned her eyes traveling once more to the balcony staring at the publisher, who was sure that there were tears in the young woman’s eyes. Squinting to try and make out the features clearly. At that moment Dilana returned excitedly waving a manuscript in her hands and under the publisher’s nose.

“You did it?” Shrieked S G as she grabbed for the document.

“I did it!” As she passed over the manuscript and watched with a grin her friend turn the first page and greedily read the first paragraph.

“This is great Di, I love it already!” jumping up and hugging the woman to her happy her talent was at last returning, it was about time.

“You haven’t read it yet S G.” Her face glowing with pride as her friend released her and they exchanged happy smiles.

“My friend remember I found you I know what you can do, lets celebrate shall we? Want to go out to lunch a champagne lunch no less and I’ll spring for it?”

Knowing S G she wouldn’t let it pass, “Okay, I suggest you have a shower first, hate to tell you this but you stink!”

A bubble of merriment burst from S G as she remembered that was pretty much what she wanted to say to her friend months ago when they first came here, then it wouldn’t have been possible she was too fragile, now, now well…”Anyone ever tell you that your manners are worse than a pig’s?”

“Nope!” Laughing together they left the balcony and as they did so S G glanced back to the spot where the other woman had been, it was empty. Oh well she was probably wrong in thinking that she had been crying; it was probably spray from the sea.

* * *

“I haven’t seen you this happy for oh I don’t know years.” S G grinned at her friend who was pouring them a nightcap; they’d had a wonderful Mexican meal in a small restaurant that wasn’t that popular at noon, although they both suspected that in the evening it was very well populated. From there they had found a bar close to the beach villa depositing the car in the drive and walked back. Where they spent the rest of the afternoon and most of the early evening talking and drinking, reminding both of them of old times.

“I haven’t been this happy in ……oh years, five to be precise. Thank you for making me see sense, S G.”

“I didn’t do anything, you had to make the big break yourself I just helped you along.”

“When you rented the place was there an option to stay longer?”

Smiling S G gave her a long exaggerated look, “I think there was some mention of extending the rental…”

“No S G I was thinking permanent.”

“What? You want to buy the place? I know you like it but that much?” Unable to comprehend that her friend would want to own such a place, she had always been a city girl, always.

“Yeah, why are you so surprised? For the first time in years and I don’t mean the last five I mean since I can remember it brings me peace and a place that I know I can write and enjoy the process.”

“You love the city, all the parties, groupies and everything that went with being a best selling author. I never heard you complain, and you said you could write anyplace it never mattered to you. What’s changed and it has to be more than the location?”

Watching her friend she saw the struggle that vied with silence of telling her, “I’m your friend Di whatever you say to me is private and always will be.”

Sucking in a deep breath she gave S G a small wry grin, how did she explain something she didn’t understand yet herself. “I’ve met someone, she’s different but I’m drawn to her in an inexplicable way. If I knew what it was I’d tell you but I don’t, I just know I can’t leave here not now, maybe ever.”

“Rather dramatic Di, I know you writers can be highly strung but you sound as if you actually mean it.”

“That’s it S G I do mean it. There isn’t anything in the relationship; hell the woman’s a mute so we hardly know each other. At the same time she has an aura about her that brings me so much peace and serenity its like all the guilt and pain I felt at my father’s passing is taken away for the short time we spend together. I guess I’m not making any sense.”

Brushing a hand through her hair giving it a spiky look to the short blonde locks, she walked over to the balcony, if only…

“Is it the young woman on the beach?”

Spinning on her heel at the question, how did she know? “Yes, how did you know that?”

“Simple deduction my dear, she was the reason you took the place and she’s become the reason you want to stay. All I can say is if it makes you happy then I’ll call the realtor tomorrow and find out if it’s a go.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you S G you look after me so well I often wonder why.”

Laughing at the observation, the brunette ruefully looked to the darkening beach, the ocean lapping gently at the shore, it was a wonderfully relaxing scene. “Truth be told so do I at times but you’re worth it.”

They settled into a companionable silence for several minutes then Di spoke quietly. “Her name is Rachael, she was the inspiration for the manuscript at first then it took a mind of its own. I think Poseidon himself had a hand in it when the tide turned each day.” Chuckling as she recalled the hours she had spent silently with Rachael watching the horizon and the vastness of the ocean marveling in its beauty as well as its ability to be cruel.

“Ah, so I need to thank both Rachael and the mighty Poseidon for the copy I’ve stowed away in my briefcase should you decide to take it away from me at the last minute.”

“I want you to read it S G, its different to my other stuff it actually has a happy ending.”

“Wow that’s a first I’ve never known a writer give their characters so many heartaches in so few pages. Have you ever allowed them an inch of happiness in any of the books?”

Scrunching up her face she pulled her tongue out at her friend, “ I resemble that remark.”
Both women enjoyed the banter it really was like old times and later that night as Di settled down in her bed she felt good about the day, well almost, she had dearly missed her rendezvous with Rachael. Had she been missed too? Or didn’t the other woman care? Either way it was hard to judge.

Sometimes she felt that Rachael enjoyed her presence other times it was like she wasn’t there and Rachael was in a world of her own. They rarely moved away from the beach spot that Rachael really could call her own. When they did they walked up and down the private stretch of beach and looked at shells and sea creatures that washed ashore. It was a relaxing pastime and one Di never thought she would ever indulge in but she found so much joy in putting the odd jellyfish back into the sea or listening to the sea in a large shell and wondering where the piece of sea glass originally came from. She’d talk and Rachael listened, she knew she listened because her eyes spoke for her in so many ways, could eyes ramble? She thought maybe Rachael’s did but then she was a writer and fantasized, that was it the over active imagination.

“I don’t know why it matters! Who gives a damn?” As she spoke she felt the deja vu of the situation, hadn’t she said those very same words weeks ago but in a different context and how different it was. Previously they had been uttered in anger, now it was wonder, how strange life was, so many paths and outcomes.

As she closed her eyes her last thought was she’d see Rachael Monday at their usual time and tell her about S G, after all it was only fair to share her friends around she had so few, they were both important to her and who knew next time S G came over they might arrange a meeting…on the beach of course.

Rachael hadn’t been to the beach all week!

Dilana wasn’t one to assume, her father had told her often enough that more wars broke out when that happened. She remembered the only time she had and he reminded her by example

“You’re going to your aunt’s full stop.”

“Dad! Please Aunt Cheryl is boring she doesn’t even have a life, why can’t I stay here I’m old enough?”

Randolph Sterling gave his daughter a glance that told her he wasn’t happy with her attitude. He knew she was spoilt and he had only himself to blame for that. However her assumptions about her mother’s only sister couldn’t be more wrong.

“Now why would you think that Dilana?”

“Oh come on Dad she never comes to see us, she lives a half continent away and I think the last time I saw her was at mom’s funeral.”

“Yeah that proves what exactly? That she hasn’t a life? I think it proves that she has a rather full life because she doesn’t have time to keep a check on how I’m bringing up her only sister’s child. At the moment she would disapprove totally and I wouldn’t blame her.”

Dilana pouted at the remark, “it’s okay for you to say but I don’t know her.”

“Right, that’s the problem not that she hasn’t got a life. You don’t know her well enough to say one-way or the other do you? I taught you better Dilana don’t assume things about people because it’s convenient, say it how it is, you will get in less trouble trust me.”

Dilana watched her father closely he wasn’t giving anything away about her aunt either, another of his sayings came to mind, make your own mind up. Her dad was a great guy, he was her best friend too and since her mother died eight years ago he’d become both parents, although now at fourteen she didn’t really need the cosseting.

“Will you tell me a little about her, please?”

Randolph Sterling loved his child, he knew every, no most fathers’ loved their offspring, and since Mary‘s death he’d felt it keener still. Cheryl had been there for them both when it happened but her career meant she was out of the country more than she was in it. Now he had to go to a conference for two weeks in Europe and fortunately for him she was actually in the States and had vacation coming, so she’d readily volunteered.

“She loves you despite the fact that you think she might not as she hasn’t been at the house every touch and turn.”

“The odd turn might have been good Dad!” Dilana mouthed audaciously and was immediately censured by her parent.

“Cheryl is a very intelligent woman and if you give her the chance she’ll teach you things that your old dad never could.”

“Is that all you’re going to tell me about her?”

“Yep, make your own mind up and if after the vacation together you find that you still don’t care for her I promise never to foist you on her again.”

“Me!”

“Yeah you! I told her you were one smartass kid and she still wants to let you visit her.” He chuckled at her affronted expression and then hugged her close kissing her on top of her blonde hair.

That had been some vacation. Her aunt was definitely not Ms. Average she was as her dad had said intelligent and lived a lifestyle far removed from her middle class suburban routine. The apartment in San Francisco was opulent and she had a couple of cool sports cars that her friends would envy her sitting in when she told them. The most interesting aspect of her aunt was that she was gay, no bones about it either. Though there wasn’t a girlfriend in tow that she knew about on that particular visit or she was keeping clear until she went home. The wonderful thing about it all was that Cheryl had opened her eyes to another lifestyle and also the prejudice that went with it, there was no pretence that it was an easy situation, tolerated by some and totally scathed by many more. Over the years she’d corresponded with her aunt and they had developed a friendship that was more akin to sisters. When she had first come out it had been Cheryl who had taken the time from her busy schedule to help her tell her father. That must have been the most difficult talk she’d ever had with her dad and the really great thing about it was he didn’t seem surprised at all.

Her aunt had moved to Europe the year before her father died and though they talked on the phone she’d never had the heart to tell her that her father was dying and how she was handling it. Cheryl had come over for the funeral with her partner, they looked so happy and making a new life in Holland that Dilana let her think it was just the initial grief that was taking its toll. When she called the apartment she would pretend to be happy and say everything was okay, unable to share her grief with anyone not even S G.

Now look at her she was pacing the floorboards as she had when her dad was ill, because Rachael hadn’t been around on the beach since Saturday a week ago!

Why?

Walking for the hundredth time to the balcony and looking out to the spot the young woman always stood at the same time, not this week. Was she ill? Had she gone on vacation and wasn’t able to tell her because of S G’s visit, had something unexpected come up? The questions and scenarios were endless.

Maybe someone in town would know what had happened to her? She didn’t know anyone in town though did she; she never went out of the beach villa except to the bank. Damn!

Mrs. Drummond, yeah she’d know, of course she would she knew everyone in town or it appeared that way with the numerous names and situations that the older woman gossiped about when she came over. Glancing down at her watch Di saw that the woman was late not by much but late, where was she?

Patience never a strong point of hers she was practically lying in wait for the housekeeper as she opened the door, pouncing as soon as she came inside.

“My goodness Ms. Sterling you frightened me!” Flustered as Dilana opened her mouth to speak then shut it quickly and opened it again.

“Sorry. Do you know Rachael Alderman?”

Hearing the breathless tone Macy Drummond wasn’t surprised, she’d watched the writer on numerous occasions this week going to the balcony looking for the young woman. “Yes, she’s a very caring child why?”

“Is she ill?”

“I wouldn’t know my dear, have you checked with Sister Angela?”

“Sister Angela?”

“Yes, she’s Rachael’s surrogate mother over at the orphanage, she will know.”

“Where is the orphanage, please, Mrs. Drummond?”

“You know the bank in town?” Grinning as she saw a relieved expression cross the younger woman’s face.

“Turn right and go down a mile, take a right at Sykes street and you can’t miss it. The building is Spanish architecture and very well maintained. Did you know the nuns…?”

“Thanks… oh you can have the rest of the day off, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.” Grabbing her jacket and car keys from the side table in her haste to leave the house before the housekeeper could say anything else.

“The young today.” Mrs. Drummond smiled and moved towards the kitchen. She’d make her a snack for when she came home; that girl didn’t even know how to cook.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Dilana was standing outside the pretty hacienda style building gates. The gates looked imposing but the actual building was very welcoming, she didn’t know what to expect but it certainly wasn’t this.

Glancing around she noticed a bell pull that must be as ancient as the building itself. As she tugged on it the peal it gave off made her jump. Wow it certainly carried the decibels.

Impatiently crunching around on the dirt road at the gates muttering and wondering if it was a foolish idea coming over here, maybe Rachael didn’t want to see her, she’d never mentioned the orphanage. Then again would she? How stupid she doesn’t speak!

Berating herself constantly, she was surprised when a voice quietly asked her business.

“How may I help you?”

Slightly taken aback Dilana muttered something and the nun inclined her head to repeat the words.

“Sorry, I wanted to enquire after Rachael Alderman.”

“Are you a friend of hers?”

“Well yes, I haven’t seen her all week and I wondered if she was sick?”

“I see. Rachael is fine. Who may I ask is calling?”

“Dilana Sterling I live close to the beach.”

The nun smiled broadly, “ah the writer, Rachael has told us about you. Perhaps if you speak with Sister Angela.”

The gates opened and the nun motioned for her to enter. Climbing back into her car she slowly negotiated the open gates and asked the nun if she wanted a lift. “No it is a beautiful day for a walk, I’ll advise Sister Angela you are on the way. Someone will meet you at the house.”

“Thanks.” Dilana drove off slowly down the winding drive towards the house. Wow she talks about me!  It shored up Di’s sagging confidence at coming to see Rachael in her home.

A teenager with the worse pimples she’d seen on a boy met her at the front door and escorted her to a small alcove and pointed for her to sit on the bench and that Sister Angela would be with her shortly.

“Great, thanks.” Placing her hands between her knees clasping and unclasping them nervously, she didn’t know what this felt like at first but then it reminded her of waiting outside the principle’s office for a detention notice. Except this felt much worse, how old was she?

The door to a room on her left opened and a nun of generous proportions summoned her forward.

“Ms. Sterling?”

“Yes. Sister Angela?”

Smiling warmly the nun motioned for her to sit in a bamboo chair that overlooked the magnificent internal courtyard streaming with all manner of flowers and shrubs. “You are admiring the view? Although I say it myself it is very beautiful.”

“I can’t get over that this is an orphanage, its nothing like what I imagined.” Dilana said truthfully as her eyes feasted on the fantastic colors and displays that presented themselves to her.

“Ah people who have never lived in establishments assume so much and usually wrongly. We are very happy here and hope it remains so, though funds are becoming tight as everywhere.”

“My father always taught me never to assume.”

“Then he’s a very astute man.”

“Was, he was an astute man he died five years ago. I miss him very much.” The words were out before she realized, experiencing a sense of relief as she mentioned her father. It hadn’t hurt as much as anticipated; he really had been a wonderfully astute man. Perhaps her healing was beginning as she realized she wanted to share who he was with another and a complete stranger as well.

“When you are close to people their passing can be very hard to take, it is difficult to let go and move on. Rachael has talked of you of course.” Sister Angela had been fascinated ever since Rachael had told them of the writer on the beach who shared a coffee with her everyday and who had become her friend. Eventually they had managed to find out who it was and had been shocked to learn that they had a best-selling author in their midst’s.

“Talked?” An astonished expression crossed the writer’s face.

Chuckling softly, “She writes and uses sign language, we have several deaf children who attend our lessons, and you know of course that Rachael teaches here during the day?”

“Yes. I wondered if she was okay? I’ve not seen her all week and we usually share coffee around eleven most days on the beach.” Dilana didn’t want to sound too anxious and looked out again at the courtyard as she spoke.

Before she answered the nun puzzled over the question silently. Rachael had been withdrawn for a week and hadn’t left the orphanage grounds at all in those days. Totally out of character but she had decided that it might be wise to let the child have space for a time to work out what was troubling her. They loved her dearly but knew also that they must allow her to make decisions on her own; she was after all a mature woman though they still considered her their child.

Dilana glanced across at the nun, as she remained silent. Panic started to settle in and her heartbeat rapidly shot up and her throat went dry, what was wrong with Rachael?

Then the nun replied in quiet measured tones that you’d expect from a religious type. At least that’s how they were always portrayed in the movies…well most anyway.

“Rachael is fine my dear, would you like to see her? She’s currently teaching one of the younger classes but it should be over,” glancing at the clock on the wall. “In about five minutes, I’m sure she will be pleased to see you.”

“Yeah! Great. Thank you.”

Sister Angela smiled slowly as she heard the rapid agreement to her proposal. “Follow me Ms. Sterling.”

“My name's Dilana, Di to my friends.”

“An unusual name is it a family one by any chance?”

They walked down the corridor and Dilana could hear the sounds of children coming from the various doorways. The whole aspect of the place looked sunny and bright, it must be good for the kids to be in school with those conditions.

“Not really my mother wanted me to be called Diana after her mother and Dad wanted me to be called Lana after his grandmother. Guess I’m a hybrid but it works.”

“Yes it does, it has a beautiful ring.” As they passed several doors the nun slowed spying a small boy who was about three foot tall and with a mop of bright red hair, freckled face and a mischievous look in his features.

Di had to stifle a laugh as she saw him scuffing his toe to great effect on the polished wooden floors. “Sam, why have you been removed from Ms. Alderman’s lesson today?”

The nun asked the boy who looked up guiltily from his toe inspection of the floor and color flooded his cheeks as he opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out but a squeak. Di had to put a hand over her mouth to stop the laughter this time.

“I can’t believe this Sam Proctor lost for words this must be a first. What have you been up to today Sam, this time I’d prefer more than a squeak or is your voice breaking?” The nun turned to Di and grinned very briefly before she gave the boy a mock stern glance.

“Nothun.”

“Ah, so your voice is breaking and Ms. Alderman was giving you a break?”

“She didn’t tell me why,” the boy said obstinately and looked at the tall figure at the side of the nun, he hadn’t see her before who was she? Maybe someone who wanted to adopt a kid could be his lucky day he saw her first as he puffed out his chest in six-year-old importance.

“Oh then I must ask. I’ll be right with you Ms. Sterling, I wont be but a minute.” As the nun knocked on the wooden door and entered, leaving Di and the small boy facing each other.

Both eyed each other for a few moments and then the boy gulped and spoke. “Are you looking for a kid to adopt?”

Taken by surprise at the question Di immediately replied, “No!”

At the tone of the rejection the boy looked disappointed and his brown eyes looked despondent. “Thought you might, I’m looking for a Mom and Dad.”

Di felt terrible, as she realized how tactless her no must have sounded. What did you say to that statement? “I’m not married so I don’t have a dad figure in my life.”

The boy thought he heard hesitation so he moved slightly closer as he whispered to her, “No problem, you don’t always need a dad, one parent is better than none. I haven’t got none at the moment and I’m a good boy too, so if you want to take me home I’ll be good.”

A deep smile crossed Di’s face, and as she was about to reply the door to the schoolroom opened and Rachael stood looking at her, a startled query on her face. “Hi Rachael, Sam and I were getting acquainted.”

Rachael continued to look puzzled at the appearance in her domain of the writer but turned to the boy with a small smile on her lips. Her hands rapidly moving as she used signals as words and the boy nodded his head, he then turned to Di and gave her a cheeky grin and skipped off down the corridor.

The innocent eyes the writer loved to watch when they were together on the beach turned back to her as the young woman held up her hands indicating why was she here.

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d look you up, I didn’t know you were working I’m sorry about that.”

Self-consciously Di was looking at the spot the small boy had been watching with interest as she waited for a response and noted the scuffmarks on the polished floor. Then realized that Rachael couldn’t speak so how was she to find out what the other woman thought if she didn’t watch her expressions.

Before any more communication on any level could be gained the door to the schoolroom opened and the children bustled out almost knocking over the teacher; Sister Angela was patiently signing to a small pig-tailed girl who had her front two teeth missing and was quite adorable in the purple gingham that was the uniform for the school hours.

“Why not take Ms. Sterling into the courtyard Rachael it’s beautiful at this time of the day and I’ll have Sam bring you over some refreshments.”

As Sister Angela moved past them she handed Rachael a notebook with a pencil and left them both ill at ease as she followed in the children’s direction.

Opening the notebook Rachael scribbled a few notes and passed it to Dilana.

Quickly retrieving the pencil from the other woman Di wrote one word.

Rachael smiled and nodded in the opposite direction to where everyone else had gone and they walked towards the doors that opened onto the courtyard. Glancing around the younger woman pointed to a wooden bench under a wooden arch encrusted with honeysuckle that was not only pretty to the eye but smelt great as well.

“It’s beautiful here. I wonder how you can leave it for the beach.”

“Why haven’t you been over this week, I’ve missed you?” There it was out she had missed her new friend more than she cared to admit but if she didn’t at least try who’s to say Rachael would ever come by again. Something or someone must have spooked her; had she been accosted on the beach on her way home that day they hadn’t met up? What if she had been having fun with S G and Rachael had to defend her honor, was she likely to admit anything to anyone; she didn’t exactly live in the spoken world did she?

There was a slight hesitation before Rachael replied.

“Does that mean that you will be coming over next week? I kind of thought maybe we could have a picnic on the beach, we talked about it but haven’t done it yet?”

What was she talking about? She didn’t have any friends except for Rachael in this town. You couldn’t exactly see Mrs. Drummond sitting on the beach with her work apron on enjoying a picnic, though the thought did make her chuckle. Rachael stared at her wondering what she was laughing at.

“Sorry, I was picturing Mrs. Drummond on the beach having a picnic with me, I guess I thought the scenario amusing, she’s about the only other person I know except you here in this town.”

Scribbling something else down the woman handed her the notebook and turned her head to watch young Sam carefully walking towards them with a tray, containing juice and fruit. He was mischievous, cheeky but a wonderful character that you couldn’t help but love. Today he’d excelled himself by pulling Sadie’s pigtails until she cried and although the young girl could take care of herself and probably would find some trick to play on the boy later he had had to be punished by being sent out of the room.

Dilana glanced across at the boy and winked at him before turning to the note in the book.

Di was puzzled, which friend? Trying to wrack her brain she really didn’t know anyone else…ah!

“S G? Oh she’s a friend but from the city; you know the city types don’t stay long in the small towns.”  Smiling as she realized that should really cover her too but somehow it didn’t, not now at any rate.

Chuckling as she smiled warmly at the woman by her side, S G was going to kill her but what the hell she might never know, Rachael wasn’t exactly the gregarious type. “Saffron Gracie, my friend went through some ribbing at school and eventually it was easier for the kids to call her S G, it stuck.”

A wonderful smile crossed the younger woman’s face, this was what Di had missed the warmth of that smile and how it made her feel inside, a marvelous glow that went from the tips of her toes to the top of her ears.

“Don’t worry her mom still uses it. I’ve heard her that’s how I know, otherwise I doubt that S G would have confided in me.”

Rachael smiled as Di thanked Sam for the refreshments with a bewitching twinkle in her eyes.

“Thanks Sam, are you out of the dog house now?”

“Nope, not until Sadie gets her silly revenge.” The small boy tipped his head to one side and looked closely at Dilana summing her up but not very discreetly.

“Do I measure up?” Di scratched the back of her neck as she asked the boy he was looking at her as a father figure would a suitor for his daughter.

Freckles jumped out at you as his face beamed bright red and he stepped closer to Rachael who placed an affectionate hand on his shoulder as she steered him to place the tray in a safe place.

“Might, not sure yet.”

Di was amused and she allowed the amusement to curl her lips into a gentle smile as her eyes bounced from the child to the young woman who had a protective hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“When you know please be sure to tell me won’t you?”

Nodding his head seriously the boy left the two women as he skipped off in the direction he came.

Turning to the boy’s teacher she smiled ruefully. “Not sure if I passed his test.”

Yeah what test idiot you’re not exactly a suitor just a friend… only!

“Who knows with kids that age? How many orphans are there here?”

Sipping on the fresh fruit drink that Rachael had handed her as she scribbled down the next message, it tasted pretty good she really must do some research about this kind of institution sometime.

“How many nuns are in this order?”

“Do you want to stay here for the rest of your life?” Di knew that some people who were institutionalized were happiest in that type of environment; somehow she didn’t see Rachael that way did the woman herself?

A bubble of laughter escaped the woman at her side and Di grinned at the sound, it made her happy…this woman made her happy, happier than she had been…ever! Now she knew it, what could she do about it?

Dilana whispered a reply; her mind preoccupied with her thoughts, “I hope you do one day Rachael I really do.”

Both women became silent as they turned to their own thoughts. Some time later Rachael looked at her watch, she had another class and had to go.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize. I guess I’ll see you around soon.” Standing quickly embarrassed that she had kept the woman longer than she obviously wanted.

Rachael stood too and came up to the writer’s shoulder. She had heard the uncertainty in the comment and knew it was up to her to take the next step.

Scribbling on the notepad she handed it to Di and smiled slowly, a smile that Di thought she used only for her at least that’s what her romantic heart wanted to think anyway. Get a grip girl get a grip!

As she glanced down at the notes, Rachael left her walking towards the main building which housed the schoolrooms.

It was a fantastic feeling of having wings on your feet as Di left the orphanage grounds; the notebook securely tucked in her glove compartment, as she drove back to the beach house and the contemplation that in two days time she and Rachael would get back to normal or as normal as one could when she felt like this.

Grinning as if she’d been given the world Di wondered what ‘this’ was? Who cared as long as it lasted forever!

* * *

The picnic had been a resounding success even to the point that next weekend she was going to arrange a BBQ and have Rachael bring over the orphans and however many nuns wanted to participate.

Her friend had looked at her seriously for a few moments when she mentioned the possibility and the more those eyes stared into Di’s the more she knew it was going to happen. For she felt the warmth of the stare piercing right to her heart as it thudded in her chest.

The note pad came out the entire picnic and though Di felt that the woman’s facial expressions would always be like reading a book, the communication the notes presented allowed them to get to know each other much better. Why they hadn’t thought of doing it earlier she had to wonder.

They’d eaten a wonderful spread prepared by Rachael and talked for over three hours, before Rachael had reluctantly pulled a face and indicated she had to go.

“It’s Saturday Rachael don’t you get time off from the orphanage?”

Shaking her head at the question Di was annoyed, did they want slave labour in that place and quickly commented again.

“That stinks you should tell them you want more time off what is it with….” Her hand was captured in a much smaller one as expressive eyes bored into hers and her mouth went dry stopping her in mid sentence.

Once more shaking her head this time a wry smile passed the other woman’s lips as she reached for her pencil and book. The writer felt bereft as the gentle handclasp was removed, it had made her feel giddy at the touch, what was happening to her she couldn’t fall for this woman she couldn’t! She was way too innocent Rachael probably didn’t even realize that women had those close relationships.

Not for the first time since she’d met this woman had Di felt herself jumping to conclusion’s and this was another of those times. Yeah, a family that would make sense, why had she been so dumb to assume the worse? Whatever would her Dad have said if he were alive?

“I’m sorry I guess I didn’t think that an orphanage would be like that! What an idiot I am.”

Dejectedly Di looked at the picnic rug and the tartan squares that jumped out at her and she wished they would swallow her up at the moment.

Gentle fingers tipped up her face and a gaze that was filled with understanding captured her.

“Me? Are you sure, don’t you have to ask the nun’s permission?”

Smiling brightly Rachael grinned and Di felt she was being taken on a roller coaster ride as her heart did the odd somersault.

“Then I accept thank you Rachael I’ll look forward to it.” Beaming from ear to ear Di felt wonderful as she packed away the picnic items and the two friends said goodbye until Monday and their usual rendezvous for morning coffee.

Walking into the beach house Di couldn’t help but continue to smile she was feeling marvellous and had to wonder if someone or something was going to burst the bubble. Maybe someone was looking over her and saying she deserved a break.

“Did you have a good time?”

Di looked towards the voice that heralded from the doorway to the lounge area.   “I certainly did Mrs. D and how are you at BBQ food?”

The older woman knitted her eyebrows together in serious thought and shook her head. “Not me Ms. Sterling, I’m a conventional cook myself, my Bob does the honours in the BBQ department. Why do you ask?”

A crestfallen expression crossed Dilana’s face as she realised that maybe she’d been a little hasty in not checking first about her housekeeper’s talents in that area. “I kind of promised to have a BBQ next Saturday.”

“Well that shouldn’t be a problem surely you can do that if it’s only the two of you, I’m sure it will be fun to prepare the food together.”

Wiping a hand over her lower face as she contemplated that indeed that would be fun but…

“It isn’t as simple as that it’s more than the two of us.”

“I see. How many exactly?”

The Housekeeper saw the writer shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other before responding.

 “The orphanage.”

Mrs. Drummonds eyes almost popped out of her head as she mouthed the words silently, “all of them?”

“Yeah all of them, kids and the nuns.”

“Are you mad that’s a massive task?”

“Not mad exactly, at the time it sounded a good idea.”

“Well, I think either you change your mind or find a catering company who can help you out.”

“Hey that’s a great idea Mrs. D, I’ll look in the local directory.” As she walked towards the phone book, Mrs. Drummond chuckled and Di turned to find out what was so funny.

“There isn’t anyone like that here Ms. Sterling we are only a small town remember?”

As the words sunk in Di realised that maybe she had bitten off more than she could chew. “Any suggestions?”

Watching the numerous expressions of hope, despondency and then forlornness cross the younger woman’s face the housekeeper’s tender heart wanted to help in anyway she could. At first she hadn’t much time for this woman but now that she had gotten to know her a little better she was like a child lost and alone seeking a place to call home. Not a far cry from the orphans she was trying to prepare a BBQ for.

“Let me talk to my Bob he might have a suggestion or two I’ll let you know tomorrow morning when I come by.”

Impulsively Di crossed the distance between them and enclosed the woman in a hug that initiated a bubble of laughter from the older woman who eventually self-consciously extricated herself from the bear hug. “I never promised anything mind you.”

“I know I know but at least you’re going to try, thank you Mrs. D you’re a life saver.”

Leaving the writer to her own devices, she muttered as she went towards the kitchen, “life saver indeed, whatever next!”

Dilana grinned as she watched the woman leave and walked over to her answer machine and saw there were three messages. As she retrieved them they were all from S G who urgently wanted her to call.

Wonder what that’s all about? As her fingers dialed a return call to her friend and publisher.
 

Three Months later…

Dilana grinned as she watched Bob Drummond and an assortment of his friends, stoking up the three large portable gas BBQ’s. When Mrs. D, as she affectionately called the woman though she had been give permission to use her Christian name Dora, had come through trumps months ago to prepare a feast for the orphanage. It had now become a monthly event and everyone concerned enjoyed the get together.

Di had the distinct impression that the townsfolk had felt intimidated by the religious order and never actually poached on the orphanage reserve. Guess it needed a stranger to do that and she had successfully she thought.  As she glanced down at her watch she had about half an hour before the coach packed with excited children and at least ten equally excited nun’s scrambled onto the private stretch of beach she rented and hopefully if S G had news for her would be hers soon lock stock and barrel.

Moving from her balcony position as the men had categorically stated women had their place and it wasn’t BBQ food preparation, she for one didn’t need telling twice, more than happy to await the masses and enjoy the fare. Not only that, she was given the opportunity to get to know everyone better including a rather special person.

Rachael and she had found they had much in common but also extremes of opinions that made the relationship that little bit more of a challenge each time they ‘talked’ it was a surprise. It could go from a wonderfully gentle conversation to an all out attack on each other’s principles. No one would know that Rachael couldn’t speak if they were at a distance watching their social intercourse becoming very animated facially and with her hands when the subject was important to her. Even though they didn’t see eye to eye it was clear their bond of friendship was growing daily and Di wondered if her friend ever felt drawn to her on another level as she was drawn to the teacher. Even to having the courage to speak to Sister Angela about sign lessons in secret. The nun had been surprised but agreeable and they had begun the task twice a week until she grasped the language skill.

Sometimes she had to invisibly slap herself as she occasionally reached out to touch the woman’s arm or shoulder, it was a temptation she had to starve off for fear she wanted more refusing to frighten her friend, it just wasn’t worth it. At the end of the day she was more than happy with their relationship all she hoped for was that it would last a lifetime, was that too much to ask?

The phone rang pressing the intercom hearing SG’s voice ring out into the study.

“Hi my friend how’s tricks in the big city?”

A loud sigh was heard over the connection and Di smiled, could this be the call she had anticipated but dreaded at the same time and perhaps dread was the right connotation with her friend’s expression.
“Trust me you don’t want to know.”

“That bad huh? Anything to do with me?”

“Noooo of course not! You are the golden nugget in my day girl, how are you?”

“Wonderful, couldn’t be better. The kids are coming over soon for our monthly event. Want to join us?”

A tinkle of laughter erupted from S Gas she smiled into her receiver, her heart swelling in pride as she continued to wonder at the dramatic but marvelous change in her friend’s outlook on life. Also awarding points of kudos her own way as she started the ball rolling in Dilana’s new life.

“Love to Di, how about next month I need to see you anyway?”

Scrunching her eyes together a fraction a suspicious frown darkening her brow at the question. S G never spent the weekends here anymore she was way to busy planning on her wedding to her air force pilot in three months time.  “Won’t Darrel have something to say about that?”

“Say? Say don’t you think I can live a weekend without him?” A chuckle resonated over the line from both women.

“Do you want to that’s more to the point?”

“We’ll survive and anyway he’s on a course that month so our contact is limited to phone calls and I can do that there.”

“Oh no my phone line will be engaged all weekend, I better warn anyone who wants to call me.”

“Hey girl none of you sassy comments. What’s the state of play on the new novel?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” Rifling through several documents on her desk she came across her first few pages of the new work she was rather proud of. “Did I tell you I’ve finally decided on a title you’d approve?”

“Di when have we ever not approved of a title, anyway are you going to tell me what it’s about? Every time I ask you say I have to wait and wait for the draft. I call that mean keeping it from your publisher.”

“I call it building anticipation myself. I’ll spill the beans when you come over next month okay?”

“Sure, works for me. Now onto the book that’s about to go public Poseidon’s Daughter, you do know you’re going to have to do some signings and publicity stuff don’t you?”

“Do I have too, can’t I become on of those reclusive writers who never have to go into the public eye?” Her voice held hope but resignation as well, she knew the answer to this one.

“Di if I could get you off the media hook I would but…”

“I know I know it’s my own fault I should never have been so eager for the public eye when I first signed up and got you to add that to my contract with you. When does it expire?” Laughing at her end of the line Di had to admit way back then she had been insistent that her contract demanded large publicity venues and parties. What an idiot, now she had to keep the publisher sweet and do the whole media thing.

“Another two novels and you can do what you want and go where you want my friend but I’m hoping you will stay with me.”

Di heard the hesitation in her friend’s voice, at no time had she doubted SG’s integrity in her business dealings on her behalf, she had been scrupulously fair cheerfully admitting that she had made a bundle out of the profit margin she had extracted for the previous novels. “If you change the publicity clause we will have a deal.”

“Sounds good to me, I’ll bring over a schedule of events when I come over. Now go enjoy your BBQ… oh and how’s Rachael?”

S G waited for the reply and wasn’t surprised when Di didn’t respond immediately, Rachael Alderman mute or not had seeped her way into a certain writer’s heart and probably didn’t realise it.

“She’s great, be over with the kids and the nun’s in I’d say…now actually.” A large sounding vehicle had stopped on the road outside her beach house and she could hear the laughter and shouting from a horde of children. It sounded that way to her from here, thank goodness the neighbors weren’t in residence during the summer.

“You’d better go be hostess Di and I’ll catch up with you later, be good.”

“I will and the same to you, don’t work too hard.”

The connection severed Dilana smiled as she walked over to the balcony and saw one or two children appearing on the beach and then all of a sudden it was flooded with many more. Their laughter and running around made her smile grow even bigger. As she glanced around her grey eyes quickly caught the person she had been waiting for as the small frame of the mute teacher came into view and the chestnut flowing hair flicked about as the a small sea breeze lifted the strands for the sun to bounce off and give it a glowing sheen.

Di caught her breath as azure eyes turned to hers and she grinned like a lovesick teenager and waved at the woman, who waved back enthusiastically. Expelling a deep breath she hadn’t realized she held, her heart hammering in her chest, she quickly proceeded to join the happy revelers on the beach. Was she in love? Oh god she hoped not how could she keep it to herself!

Sister Angela watched the interchange between one of her own and a famous author, how different their respective lives had been so far and to meet in this small town and become friends was one of god’s own miracles she was sure.

At first when Rachael mentioned her liaisons with the writer she had assumed wrongly that the person was a holiday visitor who was being kind to the child, many were especially once they knew of her affliction and how it had come about. It wasn’t until several weeks into the friendship that she found out just who the writer was and it had shocked her and she had almost broken her vows of none-interference with Rachael’s choices now that she was an adult. How could she explain that she didn’t approve of the relationship when she knew little of it? Hadn't she preached that Jesus had been persecuted and that they should be tolerant and forgiving of people from all walks of life, as the Son of God had done?

All well and good saying the words and actually practicing them when it was one of your own in danger! Danger what a word, and was the writer a dangerous personality to be around? They really didn’t know but Rachael was an innocent and certainly Dilana R. Sterling was not, far from it if the tabloids and what she wrote about were anything to go by. That being so she had listened intently to every word and expression that Rachael expressed and found herself growing to like the woman that she had doubted and who had unbeknown tested her faith.

Her penance for her doubt had been to read every volume the writer had penned in her career so far, amounting to ten works that were thrillers and never had a happy ending. It was if the person writing the story had never reached that point in their lives so how could they write about it. Her biggest fear and she hated herself for it as much as she knew the Mother Superior would and God too probably but perhaps that had been her challenge people became complacent with their lot and she had been hadn’t she until this person had entered all their lives and silently cast waves that crashed around them in all kinds of ways.

What was her fear? That the woman practiced an alternative lifestyle…she was a lesbian and not afraid to show it at least in the city. Here she had been remarkably low key and didn’t mix with anyone except her housekeeper the very homely Mrs. Dora Drummond a motherly figure in the community and happily married to Bob the local electrician in town. The only known person to visit was a young woman from the city who according to Dora was her publisher and friend but certainly didn’t appear to cause any suspicion in the housekeeper that she was more than a friend!

Probably Dora didn’t even know that Ms. Sterling preferred women to men in her bed and she wasn’t going to fuel any fire if it should come out, then what would people say about Rachael? The young woman was very naive and petty fingers pointed given the chance and she didn’t want that chance to happen not to one of her own, never.

“Hi, enjoying yourself Sister?”

The melodic voice of the writer asked warmly as she spoke from behind the nun’s shoulder having come across to talk with the woman who had been lost in her thoughts without regard to what was going on around her.

“I’m fine thank you for asking.”

“No problem you looked kind of out of it, Rachael was worried I said I’d check.”

“I’m sorry that she was worried I was thinking.”

“Ah communing with the Almighty now that would need concentration.” Di grinned impishly as she teased the older woman. It had started from the first BBQ and neither woman seemed to mind.

“Dilana don’t be ridiculous!” The nun smiled as she looked at the laughing children hustling towards the stoked up BBQ’s and the townsfolk who enjoyed the attention.

“Tell me Sister you do talk to ‘Him’ don’t you? Isn’t it a pre-requisite of the job description?”

Turning to gaze at the woman she noticed the lines around her eyes and the blonde hair in part white, not to mention the old knowledge held in the grey eyes that twinkled at her. “Yes I talk to ‘Him’ as you call God, I’ve never asked but do you support any religion?”

“Brought up Methodist but alas I wasn’t approved of a long time ago.” The words were out before Di realized she might have to quantify them.

“I see.”

Smiling wryly Dilana gave the nun her full attention. “You do how? Oh no don’t tell me God mentioned it in dispatches.”

“God moves in mysterious ways Dilana, perhaps it was one of his disciples.”

“Spare me Sister, but Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have long since departed this mortal coil.”

“Sarcasm gets you no-place Ms. Sterling, the hand of God is everywhere in many of our everyday activities.”

Quickly understanding the tack the nun was taking Di gave her a smug look. “Okay but I never knew the tacky tabloids were one of the disciples, maybe I’m not beyond saving after all!”

“I didn’t realize that you required saving?”

A hand settled on each of their arms as Rachael squeezed between the two of them preventing the conversation from escalating. “I know, the food is ready and why aren’t I first in line as usual.”

The nun chuckled and placed a comforting hand on the mute woman’s as she nodded her head, leaving them to follow the food trail.

Azure eyes looked up into the grey of Dilana’s and she smiled touching the hand on her arm for a fleeting moment in reassurance that all was well.  Did she need saving? No not any more she already had been and her savior was right next to her.

“Lets go eat you know how you love Bob’s chilli burgers.” Rachael laughed and rubbed her stomach; making Di wonder where she put all the food the housekeeper’s husband plied her with.

In deep camaraderie they followed the food trail themselves.

Rachael watched the children gather up their belongings as they finished the final lesson of the week. It had been a particularly gruelling times for the children who were taking exams, some for the authorities evaluation purposes others for places in the schools in the area. Because of the special needs of some of the children it had been a deliberate policy to educate within the orphanage, until they were eleven and then they would have to move away and join another education facility. Fortunately for them they lived within a thirty-mile boundary of some very successful schools. Only the kids with learning difficulties had to be moved further a field. It had long since been a dream of the nuns order to establish a larger education establishment for not only the orphanages but the local children as well. Funds unfortunately were thin on the ground and that idea had long been placed in the archives the dust settling heavily on its game plan.

She had always been educated in a conventional school environment, until the accident that had claimed her parents then she had been shipped to several establishments in the space of a year including medical facilities and she was sure a mental institution at one time. All she remembered of that time was being afraid and very lonely and shut away in a world that refused to allow her to speak again.

Trauma and shock the doctors called it and had been unable to break the psychological barrier that had gone up at the accident. When the nuns had come for her, one nun in particular had reached out to her and she had run like a small child into a comforting and safe hold from the prying doctors and nurses and do-gooders. That nun had been Sister Angela and from that day forward she might not have spoken in the conventional manner but she had gained a bolt hold of security that had lived with her ever since. It was that security and the love she was given that helped her to become a teacher in sign and instead of going on to make her fortune in the world, and she had been asked to at some rather prestigious schools in the state, but she had declined. Coming back to the only place she felt provided her with the love and security that the cruelty of the sea had robbed her of years before.

Now more than ever she was pleased that she had made that decision for if she hadn’t would she have ever met Dilana Sterling? A question she’d asked herself time and time again and all she could come up with was that their fates had been destined to meet at this place and time for that she would be eternally grateful. Never having made friends easily even before her parents accident she had felt from the moment the older woman had stood beside her on the beach for the first time that they were both searching for answers and perhaps together they would find them. Their friendship had started out in an odd fashion gradually creating a comfort zone for them both, it hadn’t been until she’d seen Dilana’s friend from the city that she realised that she was unusually jealous of their close relationship; she wanted Dilana as her friend only and the emotion this sparked had scared her to the core and she had stopped her daily visit to the beach until her friend had come to seek her out.

Now look at them they had monthly get-togethers for the orphanage and every Saturday evening they would spend at least part of the day together. Going to movies or the theatre in the next town and even the occasional meal in town. In herself she had never felt so happy and at the same time at peace with someone as she did with Dilana, inside she knew this was a friendship that was going to last her a lifetime and her heart hoped that her friend did as well. Sometimes she just watched the writer with a serene expression on her face because she felt that close to her a peace settled on them both at least that was how she saw it.

Pulling herself out of her meandering thoughts she smiled as she saw Sister Angela sitting in her favourite spot in the walled garden area, although she had a book in her hands it was very likely the nun was snoozing, the heat of the day taking its toll on the older woman.

Although she had never asked directly she figured the nun must be at least fifty though she didn’t look it the ravages of age were being excessively kind to the woman who sported only a few lines that crinkled at the eyes when she smiled or rarely frowned. Collecting her books and satchel she made her way over to the garden area collecting two glasses of lemonade as she went.

Placing the glass on the small table that split the bench she sat down next to the nun and smiled knowingly sure enough she was sleeping and it looked very peaceful.

Not wanting to disturb the nun who she knew worked tirelessly for the orphanage in all manner of activities and though she was senior to most of the nuns here she had refused the Mother Superior’s post when their last one had passed away a year ago. There was talk of closing the orphanage for a time but had been given a period to see if they could make the place work without a leading figurehead. Not many knew of this outside the nun’s order but Sister Angela had felt that she should know if things turned for the worse and everyone had to be shipped to other facilities including herself.

“You know that those lines will mare that pretty face of yours if you don’t stop frowning like that.”

Startled that the nun was indeed awake and watching her she smiled wryly and dutifully cleared the frown from her face.

Signing that she thought the nun asleep in the wonderful late afternoon sunshine.

“Now my child let me tell you I never sleep in the afternoon, I was caught out rather too often when I was younger by the Mother Superior.”

“Yes I do she was a very special woman how they thought I ever could fit into her shoes I’ll never know. I remember the first time we met…oh over twenty-five years ago now and she and I didn’t get on at all. Not that you would have believed it from the time you came here. I think after the first ten years we decided that sparring wasn’t of benefit to the orphanage and we put our differences aside and used the energy here instead, I think it worked.” Smiling as she recalled the memories of the Mother Superior who became a great friend over time and perhaps their differences complimented each other. Maybe that was what was happening in the friendship between Rachael and Dilana Sterling.

A deep belly laugh resonated around the walled garden as the nun wondered where that thought had popped out from. “I feel older than time some days but in years let me see now…sixty-nine next birthday.”

A gasp came from Rachael and she placed a hand over her mouth to try and prevent her jaw from dropping.

“Why thank you my dear that’s a wonderful compliment it must be the flawless skin I suppose it runs in my family. My mother never seemed to age to me when I was growing up I must have inherited it from her.”

A memory flittered across her face, and this time it didn’t bring with it a happy smile instead a pained expression briefly crossed the nun’s face before she spoke. “I’m afraid my close family are all dead. I was born in France and lived there until I was ten years old, my father spent all of his savings to bribe a German soldier to look the other way at a border so me and my elder sister passed across without permission. We weren’t Jewish so it mattered very little to them. I learnt many years later that my mother and father were killed in bombing raids two months later; the house had a direct hit. If it wasn’t for the hand of God I always think, I would be dead as well. I think that was why I eventually took up the order.”

Rachael was fascinated they’d talked from time to time about personal things but never this close to the nun’s own family life.

“I lost that along with my home and parents during the war it was a good way of staying alive and I had a very good ear for languages. My sister on the other hand went back to France and married a banker shortly after the war ended, she died about three years ago and didn’t have any children.”

“I was happy roaming from country to country then it was easy to get work on the farms because they were so short of people and the farmers didn’t ask questions. By the time I was eighteen I’d pretty much worked my way through Europe and its ravages, it was time to move onto other things. So I ended up in America and fortunately made friends with a couple of nun’s who helped me to further my education and eventually I took up the order myself, here I am.”

Was this an opening that they had been looking for with Rachael ever since she had arrived here, a chance for self-discovery of the most painful memories? “How about we strike a deal you share a few of your memories and I’ll do the same?”

For a few moments no one spoke and Sister Angela held her breath, had she been too pushy?

“What do you mean?”

Sister Angela applauded the writer and her tactics, how easy it all sounded that someone should miraculously come into another life and they ended up sharing secrets that had been hidden for years. Her cautious appreciation of the writer was getting less and less cautious; maybe the hand of God himself was behind the friendship of the two women, it would be interesting to see how it developed.

“I think that’s a wonderful way of getting to know each other Rachael, now where is the delicious lemonade you brought from the kitchen for me?”

Giggling at the nun Rachael handed over the beverage. Inside she was smiling deliriously happy, Sister Angela approved of her friend, she hadn’t been sure before but now, now she was positive.

“I was thinking S G if the house sale goes through I’ll sell the old apartment and make a totally fresh start here, what do you think?”

S G Ryan blinked a few times as she considered the question, although she hadn’t seen Di for a few months they had spoken at length twice a week and she had noticed changes in how the woman’s life was moving on. Sometimes she felt sad because this meant that their comfortable friendship was going to have to be more by email and phone rather than direct contact. Although the last five years had been difficult the strength of bond they had developed over the time wasn’t easily severed but now Di had to make new friends as she herself had done to compensate the loss of the personal contact.

As Dilana had found a new friend in Rachael Alderman however weird it had seemed to her at first. She had done even better by meeting and falling in love with a man who was in many respects the male clone personality wise to Di. They had often talked well into the night about relationships and what might have been had S G preferred women to men. It had been a source of amusement to have people who didn’t know them very well wonder at their relationship. S G hoped that one day Di would find someone to love and cherish as she did Darryl, perhaps this mute young woman might be a romantic interest she’d have to ask Di about that.

“I think that’s a great idea and the realtor was working hard on your behalf to get the current owners to sell, though there are other properties in the area you know?”

“Ah but I want this property its very special to me.” A dreamy tone accompanied the answer and S G wondered even more about Rachael Alderman’s influence in Dilana’s life.

“Is Rachael going to join us for dinner this evening, you and she date don’t you on a Saturday?”

“She said it was one of the kid’s birthdays so…”

“Kids? She has kids?” “A date, we don’t date S G!” The two friends spoke simultaneously and looked at each, surprise on one and shock on the other’s face.

“No she doesn’t have any children I meant the orphans, it’s like a family over there.”

“Right, got it, sounds cool. Wouldn’t mind a peek in an orphanage run by nuns myself, who knows when it could be good fodder for a novel.”

“S G!”

At the affronted expression on her friend’s face she smiled wickedly, “only a thought Di and anyway who better to write such a story.”

“I can’t believe you think the way you do and Rachael and I don’t date!”

The force of the word date wasn’t lost on S G; maybe it was time to pry a little more. “Would you like it to be Di from the couple of times I’ve seen her she looks like a very pretty girl and you do appear to hit it off well.”

Growling as she stood up from her easy chair Di stalked past her friend who had a wicked twinkle in her eyes, Di was so easy to tease.

“She’s beautiful not pretty and no I wouldn’t want to influence Rachael in anyway as to her romantic choices.”

“God Di when did that stop you in the past? I remember that poor girl at one of your publicity parties for what was it now…your second no third novel.”

“Don’t go there S G I was young, she was tempting and we had a good time for all of forty-eight hours.”

“I heard she was never the same again, her family still blames you for her running off with that girl drummer in that rock band three months later.”

The anecdote eased the tension around Di as she settled her back against the balcony and smiled wryly. “I was a flirt I admit it.”

“A flirt? More like a highly sexed vamp if you ask me. Your women public will welcome you back with open arms when you go on the publicity tour in two weeks.”

“About that tour any chance we can reduce it from a month to maybe two weeks?”

“You know I’ve conceded this is the last full blown one of your contract and you agreed to this one final push, especially as you haven’t been in the limelight for five years, it will help the sales.”

“Yeah I know but I haven’t told Rachael yet she’s going to be upset.”

Attempting to stop the snicker but failing miserably as she snorted out a laugh S G grinned at her friend. “Did I hear that right, when did you get married?”

“Don’t be ridiculous S G!  I was just trying to find the right time to tell her I would be gone for a month and that she might see me on the odd TV interview.

“I think I was wrong when I mentioned a date Dilana it isn’t a date with you is it you’ve already been roped and branded, I love it the picture is simply marvellous. When are you going to be honest with me and admit you care about Rachael?”

A quietness that was broken only by the lapping of the tiny waves on the sandy beach below invaded the area.

Looking straight at her friend Di wiped a hand across her jaw and nodded sheepishly at her friend, “I don’t just care S G I’m in love with her!”

The words under normal circumstances should have a peal of joy about them, not so from the writer’s lips it was as if she was living one of her own novels and that no happy ending was going to happen in this tale.

“That’s marvellous Di, does she know you’re gay?”

Shifting uncomfortably on the decking of the balcony the writer turned to face the sea and looked out towards the horizon. How many times had she and Rachael spent time doing just that in silence, too many to count probably, was she looking for the sea to give her the answer to her dilemma of what to say to the woman she had come to love and adore.

“I’m not sure, we’ve never discussed it but then if she’s taken the time to go through any of the publicity on me in the past its common knowledge I’ve never hidden it or been ashamed of my choices.”

“Don’t you think that perhaps you should tell her that and see what reaction you get. Why not tell her at the same time as the tour and then she has a month to get used to it and what she feels about it if she needs any time at all.”

“I didn’t want to jeopardise our friendship S G it would break my heart if she didn’t want anything to do with me. I think she’s quite religious you know and maybe she agrees with the church stance on the gay lifestyle.”

Walking over to her friend S G put a comforting arm around her shoulders and smiled warmly. “Not all the church Di and how will you know if she reciprocates your love if you don’t at least get to a situation where its possible to think that way.”

“I’m glad I have you has a friend S G where would I be without you.”

“Actually you would be holed up in that stuffy apartment of yours eating microwave dinners and being a pain in the ass to all and sundry.”

Laughing at the picture that was slightly exaggerated but only marginally. “Make sure I never have to suffer microwave dinners again will you, Mrs. D’s cooking is far superior.”

Changing the subject the publisher asked about her new manuscript. “Well… you know you mentioned the orphanage?”

“Yeah. You haven’t? Have you?”

“I wanted to write a nice middle of the road happy story and I think I have. It’s only the first three chapters but I thought if you read it and let me know?”

“Girl you really do love it here! The chance of two novels coming out in the space of a year I’m impressed. Want to get it for me and you can chase up dinner while I read.”

“You got it!”

Di wandered off to fetch the manuscript and S G watched her thoughtfully. Rachael Alderman was in for one hefty shock or not, it all depended on how open minded she was. Though living in a small town and brought up by nuns it was hardly the breeding ground for enlightenment but one never knew these days.

Rachael watched Dilana closely ever since they had met up this evening the writer had looked nervous and the conversation had been stilted, or was it her imagination?

Originally they had planned to have dinner this evening at the beach house but then Dilana changed her mind last minute and suggested they have a meal at the bistro near to the house, it was a nice place casual and the locals seemed to like it too, especially the younger men who played pool.

Picking up the menu she selected what she wanted and saw Dilana gulp down her third beer and they hadn’t been in the place half an hour, something was definitely wrong. Why not ask? Dare she, it might not be good news and she didn’t want to lose her friend not now, not ever she was too precious in her life.

Five minutes later their order was taken and instead of a bottle of beer a pitcher appeared, as she didn’t drink it looked like her friend was going to have a great time after drinking such a large pitcher.

Azure eyes waited for Dilana to look up and she captured the grey ones of her friend and smiled briefly as she did she saw a spark of emotion come and go quickly in the writer’s eyes. Pointing to the notebook that was a permanent fixture now, Di glanced down to read the message.

“Me? No I don’t think so at least I thought we’d have dinner first.”

“Is what that bad?”

“It’s not like that Rachael I thought we would eat and then chat that was all.”

“Pardon me?”

“Don’t be silly I like to have a few beers when I come here. S G and I had a great time last Saturday it’s a pity you missed her, she’s quite a woman.”

Rachael felt the tug at her stomach as she heard the words, ‘S G was quite a woman! ‘

“Oh yes S G is a tower of strength, over the years she’s always been there when others gave up on me. I owe her my life at least my sanity I think I told you before that she was the one who made me take up the beach house?”

“You are why?”

There it was again that look of peace and serenity like an aura around Rachael, maybe her friend was an angel sent on this earth to save lost souls like her.

“Oh we would have met Rachael count on it.”

“Call it destiny, providence, kismet or any of the other words you could use I like to think it was extreme good fortune.”

Both women smiled at the remark and before either could say more the meal arrived.

An hour and half later they were both stuffed after the meal and sat at a table close to the pool area. Several of the locals were playing the game and some others were watching with interest as their pals played.

Over the meal they discussed their respective parents, as it was difficult for Rachael to eat and write the conversation was limited but now they were both well fed and the drinks had arrived at their much smaller table.

“Oh god Rach that brought a rather horrid picture to mind.” As both women laughed at the remark.

As the laughter died down grey eyes turned serious as they pierced the azure ones of her friend, she needed to have this direct contact and see what Rachael felt about her.

“You know my new book?” the younger woman nodded her head as she listened intently. “Well its part of the deal that I go on a publicity tour, you know TV interviews, book shop signings, parties, the works. S G thinks I have a best seller on the cards but I’ll need to jump start the sales as I’ve been out of the public eye for a while.”

A deep smile crossed Rachael’s features as she scribbled quickly.

“Yeah it’s good but it means I have to go away.”

“A month maybe less if I can convince S G that it isn’t necessary. The book should stand and fall by merit not with the odd crate of champagne to feed the critics.”

Dilana felt rather than saw the distress this caused in her friend. “Hey I’m coming back! I might have persuaded the current owners of the house to agree to sell to me by then. I will be back Rachael I promise you.”

A lone tear slowly trailed down Rachael’s left cheek, this wasn’t fair it was almost vacation time and she had hoped to spend more time with Dilana.

Di saw the emotion and wanted to kick herself for having to go she would have ripped off her right arm if it would stop Rachael from crying as the younger woman reached inside her pocket for a tissue.

How did she tell Rachael she was gay if her friend was already upset it wouldn’t help the matter would it?

“There is something else I need to tell you Rachael.”

“Yeah I guess you were right earlier Dutch courage, funny it doesn’t seem to be working.”

Di breathed deeply as she tried to muster the words that would explain her life…what the hell she had never been ashamed of being gay in her life and she wasn’t now!

“I wanted to tell you that….”

“I’m sorry to disturb you but my friend over there, wondered if you both wanted a drink?” The woman pointed to a dark haired woman at the bar who tipped her glass in acknowledgement.

“That’s okay we already have a drink.”

“I wasn’t talking to you blondie but gorgeous here.”

Rachael watched the interchange between her friend and this woman who looked more like a wrestler she was certainly built on that scale.

“You are talking with me though aren’t you?” Di stood up the hairs on the back of her neck bristling. She hadn’t expected to be approached by dykes in this small town, in the city maybe, but here? What was the world coming too?

“Look blondie my friend over there is interested in the little one not you so cool your heels or I will.”

That was it she hadn’t expected this hadn’t wanted this but knew that defence was the best deterrent. “We are not your type go look elsewhere or I’ll call someone over.”

The woman laughed throatily, “Really here in this town not a chance!”

Just as the woman moved closer to Dilana the bartender came over. “Any trouble here ladies?” His eyes clearly signifying that he didn’t consider the unwelcome guest a lady.

“Nope not from me.” The butch woman moved away backing off towards her friend at the bar.

“It’s okay, all cleared up thanks Pete.”

“You’re welcome Dilana those two are troublemakers hit on every pretty woman who come in the joint I’ve banned then more times than I can remember but it’s a small town and we need the business.”

“Okay Pete thanks I’ll remember that.”

The bartender walked back to the bar and as he did so said something they couldn’t hear to the two women who glared at him in defiance and then left.

Rachael had been fascinated by the exchange of the last ten minutes and was lost for words.

“Sorry about that we’ll eat someplace else next time.”

“I guess; do you want to go home now?”

“Oh it was nothing I was going to ask you if you wanted a present and what would it be.”

Rachael knew Dilana was lying to her but why she didn’t understand. Had it anything to do with the situation of the woman who had annoyed them? She would find out eventually Dilana never lied to her if she asked directly.

“Anything it will be.”

Both women smiled into their respective drinks contemplating totally different things.

* * *

Three weeks later...

SG watched her friend soak up the acclaim genuine and false, which came her way over her new novel ‘In Search Of Poseidon’s Daughter’. It was a wonderful story filled with action, adventure and a gentle romantic feel about it that held the threads together very well. If no one told her who the author was, she wouldn’t have associated it with Dilana. It was not her style. As she read it two or three times more in the office, she saw her friend’s natural flare for storytelling leaping out at her. what a pity Di hadn’t written for several years. However, with the current novel and the one her friend was working on, her talent had reached new heights. Okay, so she had a vested interest both personally and professionally. Even so, the critics were raving over her new book and rightly so.

The first week had been difficult for her friend.  She had appeared nervous and unsure what to expect initially, but as the interviews and book signings took off so did she and the old confidant writer sprung into action. She knew that Dilana’s heart wasn’t in the city anymore or at the numerous parties she had been invited to! Now her heart was well and truly held by a mute woman in a small town, who probably didn’t even know she had that power over her friend.

Women, as always, swarmed around the writer. She was like a magnet, admittedly Di flirted, but this time around it was a more gentle flirtation. Nothing that a person in her position wouldn’t do given the numerous opportunities set in front of her.

“SG, please come over here and talk with Dilana.” A high female voice shouted from across the room.  It was Celina Ratford, a patron of the arts having a penchant for taking scalps in the publishing world, and it looked like Di was the order of the day.

“Now, what has my favorite author done to want you to have me talk with her Celina?” She asked walking over to the circle of women who were buzzing around her friend. Di smiled and winked at her as she settled next to the writer’s shoulder.

“She refuses to take up my offer of a cruise around the Mediterranean after her publicity tour is over. I told her she could finish her new book in beautiful surroundings and pleasant company.” The woman was around forty, had married and divorced three rich men in quick succession and now pleased herself who she dallied with. In particular, artistic people seemed to draw her in any shape, size or gender, as long as they were in the media eye.

“Perhaps she has other commitments.”

“You’re speaking as if I’m not here. Thank you again for the offer, Celina, I’m afraid, as SG said, I do have other commitments and my book will be written in the place where I started it.”

The words were crisp, clear and to the point, which made the rich woman pout in indignation but she wasn’t finished yet. “Okay, it is short notice how about I come and see you work in your environment.  You can show me around and we can become much closely acquainted.”

A laugh bubbled up in Di as she considered the woman conceited and so very sure of herself. Then again a few years ago she probably would have taken up the offer and thought nothing of it. Now though, she knew that it would be a shallow thing to participate in and her heart apparently ruled her head these days. “I don’t think so.”

“What’s so special about this place where you live now? Or maybe it is not the place but a person perhaps? Have you been holding out on us Dilana? I was told you were so very…how shall I put it delicately.”

Di was angry now; who did this woman think she was anyway! “Why not say it how it is, you were told I’m easy! That was a few years ago. I’ve grown up since then and I don’t do the rounds anymore.”

SG felt the anger in her friend and also the red tinge under the carefully applied makeup on the older woman’s face. Celina might be a joke internally but you never challenged her in public, she had powerful friends.

“How would it be if we all had another glass of champagne and enjoyed the floor show that I’ve arranged for this evening?” Placing a hand on her friend’s arm, she guided her to a safe distance from the aggrieved woman who was throwing daggers with her eyes.

“That wasn’t a smart move, Di.” The whispered words increased Di’s annoyance at recent events, this wasn’t right.

“Who the hell does she think she is anyway?”

“A patron of the arts and a powerful one, she has friends in most of the large retail outlets and if she makes certain calls we’ll be lucky to market the book in anywhere but market stalls.”

“She can’t do that, SG! I thought those kind of situations went out with the ark?”

SG held up her hands in a gesture of resignation. Di was right people shouldn’t be allowed to do that but they did and she wasn’t a powerful enough publisher to make the waves Celina could make go away without severe damage to Di and her as well.

“Hey, hopefully she’ll have a few more glasses of champagne and move onto her next conquest.” They both glanced in the direction of Celina Ratford, who was engrossed in conversation with one of the large retailers in California.

“What happens if she does as you say?”

“I’ll have to eat humble pie for months trying to get your book onto the main shelves but we’ll do it. No one wants to miss out on a best seller.”

“It won’t be one though, will it, if no one will sell it?”

“Let me worry about that, Di, that’s what you pay me my commission for, right?”

Dilana smiled slightly as they turned to watch the act SG had booked for the evening, “okay, I’ll leave it with you, for now.” Her words followed SG as she held her breath and hoped it wouldn’t be necessary for her friend to be further involved.

* * *

“When’s she coming home?”

“Can we have our BBQ Saturday if she comes home?”

Rachael smiled at the boy who was itching to know where Dilana had gone and why she hadn’t invited them for the monthly BBQ last weekend.

“You’re a nosey parker, Sam!” Sadie Thompson stated as she watched the signing between the two of them.

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are!”

“Am not, I’m a nosey Proctor so there!”

Rachael couldn’t help it she laughed at the sparring between the two youngsters. She knew that she shouldn’t have favorites but these two tykes had stolen into her heart. No matter what happened between them, and there was plenty; she never had the heart to chastise them heavily.

Sam gave a wide-eyed expression and turned to Sadie who had a very similar expression plastered on her face. “Don’t tell her, will you, Rachael?”

“Deal. Come on, Sadie.”

“I don’t see why I should agree with you, Sam Proctor. I don’t want her to adopt me!” The girl stomped away in the direction of the dining room as a red faced Sam gave Rachael a bemused look and scuttled off after the girl.

Adoption? Dilana? Sam was fantasizing she would have to speak to Dilana about this little problem. The child could get hurt if her friend said the wrong thing. Kids at his age were very vulnerable and though they loved them all, each orphan really wanted parents of their own rather than share out the affection of so few on so many.

Picking up her satchel, she was surprised when Sister Angela walked into the family room and came towards her with a pristine white envelope in her hand.

“Another letter for you, Rachael. Before you know it you’ll have more written words by a famous author than in her books.” The nun smiled warmly as Rachael grinned and practically snatched the communication from the nun’s hand.

Swiftly ripping open the envelope she extracted a single sheet, which was unusual, Dilana usually sent at least three pages. She always had something to say. Maybe this was short because she was coming home.  Quickly reading the contents her smile and happy countenance faded, as a frown that furrowed her forehead appeared.

“Not bad news I hope, Rachael.”  The nun hadn’t intended to pry but she knew how much each letter from the writer meant to this child it was like watching the sun come out when they arrived, not so today, it would seem.

Azure eyes usually bright and happy turned to her, their misery clear as a brightly polished mirror. Listless hands handed over the letter for the nun to read. It wasn’t much of a letter either, a few short sentences, the content of which was that the writer had been delayed indefinitely and that she would write back soon.

“Rachael, she’s a very popular author and perhaps it is just another few days, nothing to worry about.”

The nun wasn’t convinced that was the case the words had been clear and to the point. It was like being dismissed and sent into the background. Was that what the author had wanted to convey? If she hadn’t then she was in deep trouble because that was how it had been taken.

The hand signing held its own power of expression and in every movement and expression that crossed the woman’s face the despair was clearly evident for all to see. You didn’t need to understand the signing to know how hurt the child was.

Quickly Sister Angela crossed the short space between them and pulled her close into a hug that tried its best to protect the child from hurt but failed dismally. “She’ll be back, Rachael, she will. Didn’t she promise you and when has she broken her promise? You have to have faith my child in Dilana and God and all will be well.”

The words permeated Rachael’s consciousness. However, it couldn’t prevent the heartbreak she felt.  Why would she feel this way? Dilana was her friend and she had the right to stay away as long as she pleased. She owed no one here an explanation, not even her. Yet, at the same time, her mind reminded her as her heart beat rapidly in her chest, of why it was so important that Dilana should come back to her… she loved her!

The tears that had threatened when she had read the letter initially now cascaded down her cheeks as she wept for what was never going to be…her friend whom she loved dearly. What was she going to do now?

* * *

“Don’t argue with me, SG. It isn’t about the damn book!”

“No? What is it about then? For sure as hell I don’t know why you are doing this.”

Turning away from her friend, Di went over to the window that overlooked the street below from her apartment. “I’m attracted to her, is that a good enough reason?”

“No, dammit, it isn’t! I know it’s not true and don’t you DARE turn your back on me, Dilana Radolphin Sterling! I know you better, remember?”

A deep sarcastic laugh followed the comment.

“Maybe you thought you knew me. I’ve changed or have you forgotten that? Wasn’t it you who said so?”

“That’s twisting the words to suit the situation. You know I meant that in relation to your new life not this plastic sham of a life you are trying to convince me is yours again, I don’t believe it!”

“Okay, then don’t it doesn’t change anything. I’m going on that cruise with Celina and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Di, please tell me the real reason. Not the false one you’re trying to feed me with. Don’t I deserve that much, I’m your friend.”

SG watched as the writer placed a hand at the back of her neck and massaged the muscles. What happened here? Okay, Celina had called some of her pals and pretty much made their marketing campaign a non-event but she would keep trying and the book was good enough to stand on its own merits and not what some of the big retailers thought the public should buy. Her publishing company was close to financial embarrassment and she’d had to delay her wedding so she could use some of the funds they had earmarked for the big event to keep her head above water. However, that was the name of the game here and how things worked. Not that she’d told anyone her financial position, particularly her friend. She knew Di’s views on responsibility and knowing her, she would view this as hers but it wasn’t. It was a business venture, not a personal one in this instance. Although Di would never see it that way, she never had with the publishing of her books; everything was on a personal level with her friend.

“I told you, I’m attracted to the woman, I haven’t had a lover in over five years and I want some fun.  Call it my libido wanting some action.”

Sucking in a deep breath SG gambled as she spoke next. “What about Rachael?”

A tornado hit the apartment or so it seemed to SG, who was suddenly whirled off her feet as her friend grabbed her by the neck cursing several times before she set her down growling, “Rachael has nothing to do with this, nothing, SG. Never mention her name again in this context, do you hear me?”

“Sure.” Her legs were shaking and she felt totally disorientated by the viciousness of the assault on her person and the tone in the words her friend uttered…did she say friend? Now she had to wonder.

“You’d better go. Celina is coming over for dinner, I don’t want her to find you here.”

“Okay…Di?”

“Yeah.”

Staring at the person, she thought a friend, all she saw was a stranger staring at her and it hurt. What was going on here really? Had Di finally flipped?

“Nothing, send me the script of your next novel when it’s done.”

Unsteadily walking towards the door, she vaguely heard a muttered, “Yeah, the final one.”

What the hell did that mean? Not daring to turn back to ask.

* * *

Dilana never thought that she would lie to SG, but she had and her friend was hurt by the deception and they both knew it was deceit.

She glanced at the mirror to stare at her image and what she was becoming. Hell, she had thought life was looking up and she was finally in control of her destiny. Then bang, it dropped a bombshell on her head and all the preconceived ideas of happiness were shredded into a million pieces.

Why did life have to be so difficult?

About the only thing she had been right about was that this current piece she was working on would be her last! No more publicity tours! No more people like Celina Ratford to get their claws into you and no more letting people down. At any other time she wouldn’t have balked at calling it a day and not finishing her current book but it was important…not to her but to the orphanage and she hoped Rachael as well.

Yes, she was writing the book based on an orphanage and true, she had based some of the characters loosely on people she had met in the small town but it wasn’t really about them. It was more the promise of what that particular orphanage gave to its residents and she wanted to show the world how important it was and that there were still places like that in this jaded world.

She had already informed her lawyer that eighty percent of her profits on any sale would be set up in a fund for the orphanage with a couple of clauses. It was, therefore vital; the book had maximum exposure and the chance to sell when it came out. If sleeping with Celina Ratford was the price to pay then it was easy to do there was a lot more at stake than her current scruples. What did it matter; it was just another affair in a string of them. After it was all over and she had secured the book on the shelves, then she would try to salvage what she could of her life.

As the words floated around in her mind she knew that the one thing she wanted most in life would never be hers anyway. Maybe Rachael would never get to know about this slide from grace. Who would tell her and why would it matter to the woman anyway? It wasn’t like she was romantically interested in her anyway.

The doorbell pealed and Di sighed heavily as she pushed long tapered fingers through her hair and made the short locks spiky as she turned to open the door to her visitor. As she reached to unlock the door, her heart spoke to her and tried to reach into the pragmatic mind that had taken over.

What if Rachael feels like you do and you never gave her the chance? Will she understand this situation if she ever finds out? Would you?

As her sub-consciousness pleaded with her, she opened the door and forced a smile as she was engulfed in the arms of Celina Ratford. She was instantly smothered with small kisses before a full onslaught, forced Dilana to concentrate on the woman in her arms rather than the one who might never be.

* * *

Five Months later...

Sister Angela gazed at the young woman who sat in the shelter of the gazebo in the walled garden.  For all intents and purposes, she looked her usual self but if you knew her well enough you could see the changes in her over the last few months.

No one could have seen how a letter could wreck so much havoc in a person but the one from Dilana Sterling had. Rachael no longer smiled and the peace and tranquility she always emitted was muted to an occasional glow. The young woman had lost weight too. She had never been particularly fat and now she was virtually skin and bones, which was upsetting for some of the orphans who noticed the change in her. Someone had to talk to her. She was wasting away and she supposed, since she was as close a mother figure as Rachael could have, bar her own mother, that someone had to be her.  Still, a heart-to-heart talk about a certain author wasn’t something she was going to relish. These things had to be done though and why not now, perhaps Rachael could move on and forget the writer’s interlude in her life; there was only one way to find out.

As she entered the garden, she saw Sam Proctor standing beside Rachael and he was singing her a song. How lovely to see the compassion the innocence of the young had.

“Why, Sam, I never knew you had such a wonderful voice.” Sister Angela smiled warmly at the boy and was given a rather sheepish grin as he winked at Rachael and then ran off, embarrassed at being caught singing a sissy song.

Rachael looked at the nun with questioning eyes. She had avoided contact with her except when necessary for two reasons. One because she was so upset and didn’t want to talk about how she was feeling. How could she when she didn’t know what to say she had never felt like this before? The second, that was totally irrational and uncalled for, but she couldn’t help it. The nun had been the one to bring the message to her of her friend not coming back and every time she saw the Sister, she expected another letter to be handed to her to confirm her fears. Now she felt her thoughts were justified with the passage of time that wasn’t healing her wounds, merely allowing them to fester.

“May I sit Rachael?”

“Thank you child. It’s a beautiful day I thought you might have been out at the beach.” Knowing full well the young woman hadn’t set foot near the beach since the correspondence from the writer.

Placing her hands on her lap clasped together gently, Sister Angela doubted that very much as she saw the strain etched into the pale features of the woman at her side. Shortly they would have to call a doctor if things didn't progress with the child. She was making herself ill and for what?

“Are you? I thought you enjoyed your visits to the beach.”

Smiling the nun turned to look directly at the girl. Her comment was rather like one of the kindergarten children and it made her realize that in defense we often act like children. “Yes, we do sometimes grow tired of the beauty around us and it isn’t until later that we appreciate how enriching it was in our lives. Perhaps, with time, you’ll change your mind."

“I promised to take the younger ones to a BBQ at the beach this Saturday; Mr. and Mrs. Drummond and a few of their friends have invited us and I thought it was a good idea. The weather is closing in and they’ve missed…well, I thought it was a good idea. Would you like to come?”

Rachael shook her head vigorously. “No” couldn’t have been spelled out any louder if she had been able to articulate verbally.

Sighing softly, the nun looked down at her still clasped hands as she thought of her next retort.
“Sam and Sadie miss you.”

Glancing up sharply, azure eyes blinked rapidly in puzzlement.

“I’m afraid you have, Rachael. Your body may be here with us but your spirit has left on a journey of its own and it’s breaking your heart.”

Swallowing the lump that stuck in her throat, Rachael wanted to shout that it wasn’t anyone’s business but her own. However, she didn’t want to hurt the children, they didn’t deserve that. It was hard enough living without immediate family but to be shut out by the only family you had come to know and rely on was worse. She should know that more than anyone should. Why did she want to do this to people she loved?

“I know you didn’t, Rachael, perhaps if you shared your burden you might feel better.”

The tragic eyes cut into the nun’s tender heart as they implored her to take the pain away.

Reaching across, the old nun placed a comforting hand on top of the trembling ones and smiled reassuringly. “Everything will be okay, Rachael, if you have faith. Please tell me what the problem is.   I want to help you child, please.”

Tear filled eyes beseeched the nun to understand as she rapidly hand signed her immediate feelings.

As the child’s hands trembled, so did the nun’s as she watched the woman sign. Why hadn’t she seen this happening, why?

“Rachael, I know Ms. Sterling was your friend and you became quite close but do you know what you’re saying?”

Nodding her head, the tears trailing down her pale cheeks the young mute woman wanted desperately to speak.  Her mouth opened like a small bird trying to feed for the first time but still no words came out into the open. Was it so wrong? She was afraid of her feelings and what they could mean. All she needed was the support from people who loved her to make it less complicated than it already was.

“I understand that you care about her, Rachael, and it’s likely you feel…”

All her doctrines said this love wasn’t what God intended but she had lived a long enough life to know that life these days didn’t always fall into God’s teachings.

She closed her eyes briefly, the child was correct. It wasn’t what God intended but that didn’t stop it happening. She had to deal with this delicate problem in the best way possible.

“Did you ever discuss this with Dilana?”

Maybe the writer had been instrumental in creating this situation and when she had grown tired of a small town girl she had left, never to return, breaking another heart in her wake.

Looking upwards Sister Angela thanked God that at least the writer hadn’t been that cruel, though her current absence didn’t exactly enamor her to anyone here at the moment.

“Rachael, I don’t know why she left like she did.  Why don’t you write back to her and ask if she’s coming back?”

Trembling fingers gripped the cloth of her trousers as she grappled with the idea. Why hadn’t she done that all those months ago? Now, it was too late, surely?

“You could try. If you love her so much isn’t it worth finding out rather than wasting away here never knowing?”

For the first time in months the azure eyes shined out brilliantly and the smile, that felt like you were drenched in sunshine, whatever the weather, creased the young woman’s face.

The woman jumped up and ran towards the main building faster than Sam did when he was in trouble

Watching the exit, the nun sighed. She hadn’t committed herself either way on what was right or wrong but she loved the child as her own. If this would stop the decline in Rachael’s health, it was worth bending a few principles to do so. Faith was part of the job description!

* * *

Dilana watched her lover basking on the sun-drenched deck of the schooner Celina had hired a month ago to enable them to cruise around the smaller islands in the Mediterranean. She had kept up her end of the bargain and been an attentive lover for the past five months but now she wanted it over and soon it would be.

The worse thing about this whole mess was that she thought that Celina actually had deeper feelings for her other than the shallow conquest of someone that had originally been out of her reach. They’d had fun she couldn’t deny that. Lots of parties, plenty of time to soak up the sun and peace for her writing, which she’d used as an excuse more often than was actually needed. The novel had been shipped last month to SG, whom she had rarely contacted in her months with Celina. Their contact had been polite but not friendly which made any conversation somewhat stilted and one sided. Nevertheless, she had continued and asked SG to let her know when the book was on the shelves and selling under its own steam. Anytime now, she hoped. SG was wonderful on deadlines.

Her thoughts continued to revolve around her old friend. The guilt over her continuing deception was eating away at her over the months, but it had to be that way! SG would not have understood, she didn’t have a mean bone in her body and would have been shocked and probably disgusted by Di’s behavior.

What surprised Di the most, was that SG hadn’t as yet tied the knot with her fiancée and she was sure it had been booked for months earlier, not that she could have attended or would have been invited at the end of the day. When she’d asked, a clipped no was the only answer she had. Perhaps love wasn’t running smoothly for her friend either and she wasn’t there to help. She had taken, taken, taken and when perhaps, she could have helped SG, she hadn’t been there for her.

The solemn thoughts traveled as they always did to Rachael, what she wouldn’t give to see her friend, the woman she loved, just one more time and bask in the peace and tranquility the woman always emanated. How could she now? Some tabloids had reported the fact that she and Celina were an item.  She had no doubts, that even in a small town, that kind of news didn’t get out, especially as she had been taken in by many of the local community.

God what a mess! Her hand was placed over her face for a few moments and her eyes peered out at the blue sea in anguish and guilt.

“Are you okay, Di?” Celina asked as she placed a bare arm around the cotton-clad shoulder of the woman she had taken as her current lover.

“Sure Celina, why do you ask?” She smiled brightly at the woman who smiled warily back and kissed her lightly on the lips.

“No reason. What I want to know is why do you always at this time of the day? Stand here at the same place and watch the horizon, there’s nothing to see.”

A small irritating laugh followed the question as the older woman stretched her partially clad body up against the writer’s in a sensuous fashion, reminding Di of a cat winding around a person’s leg and purring in satisfaction.

“Perhaps the artistic side of me sees something out there.” Her mind knew what she saw or hoped to see, Rachael doing exactly the same thing on her private beach and wishing the same thing as she did… that they could be together soon.

“Of course, the writer in you darling. Will you write something for me one day?” The woman was now kissing her neck and though she really wanted to say no to the sexual advances, she knew it wasn’t the right time; at the end of the day she didn’t want to have the last months go up in smoke. Di knew Celina was not bad, but being powerful and rich in certain circles allowed her to never take no for an answer – and gracefully left it at that. A part of Di wanted to scream her outrage at not only the woman’s tactics but also her own weakness for allowing her that power, what a pathetic excuse for a woman she was. Damn you Celina!

“Perhaps.” To stop any more questions Di returned the kisses dropping to the deck to engage in passionate pursuits.

* * *

 “Ms. Ryan, you have a visitor.” SG’s PA announced as she scrambled to check her diary for that day.  She didn’t recall any meeting at this time. Besides, it was lunch and she usually used the time to catch her breath and call Darryl.

“Kate, I haven’t got any meetings scheduled. Is someone early?”

“No, she refuses to speak but passed me a note and although I told her you were busy she’s been here for over an hour. I didn’t have the heart to turn her away sorry, SG.”

“Really? How odd, what’s the person’s name?” Normally Kate was good at getting rid of the so-called hopefuls who wanted to get into see her with their own particular manuscripts. This would be one of them but Kate was feeling sorry for the woman obviously.

There was silence for several seconds as Kate found the piece of paper the woman had written for her in clear precise script.

“Rachael Alderman, a friend of Dilana Sterling, what do you want me…”

The door to SG’s office opened before the PA could finish her sentence and her boss was standing shocked as she looked at the woman who originally had been seated but now stood up as the auburn haired woman flew into the room.

“Rachael? Hi, please come in. Want any coffee or something else?” Signaling to Kate to go and fetch in her lunchtime snacks and drinks.

The mute woman shook her head and followed SG into her office then stood there like a frightened child. Dilana was right about one thing, the woman certainly showed every emotion on her face. It was like reading a book.

“Hey I’m sorry to keep you waiting. If I’d known it was you…well, you know how it I, I get lots through the door that want me to publish their masterpieces.” SG stood up unsure exactly how to communicate with this woman. Di had mentioned a notebook they used but was that being too familiar?

“Sit down, please and tell me why you’re here? That is, if you could explain to me…. I think I could do with some help here.” Holding up her hands feeling like a gauche teenager, disabilities were not her strong point.

Rachael watched listening as the woman rambled; she was completely ill at ease with her inability to talk. One time, when she had felt jealous of her, she would have let her struggle on. Now, she needed this woman’s help and pointed to the pad on the desk.

“Sure thing.” SG quickly retrieved the pad and a pen giving them to the woman.

Sitting down as Kate brought in her sandwiches and water plus a few other snacks should the mute woman decide to change her mind about joining her.

“Thanks, Kate. I have an appointment with Brian at two can you call him and tell him I’ll be late but I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Yes, no problem, SG.”

As the PA left the room, Rachael handed SG the pad and walked over to the small window of the office that looked onto the bustling street below.

Glancing at the pensive woman at her window, she thought she looked different, haggard sure but way too thin as well. Maybe Di hadn’t known Rachael as well as she thought she had and the woman did care about her…more than care in fact.

“Which address did you use?”

Rachael turned from her blind view of the street below she hadn’t been looking really it was just a place to go. She quickly scribbled the address Dilana had given her.

“That’s her apartment here in the city but she hasn’t been in town for over six months. I’m sorry, she’s abroad at the moment and its difficult to track her down.”

With frustration evident on the young woman’s face, she tried to do hand signs and then realized that was futile and grabbed back the pad and wrote more.

What should she do? Break it gently that the woman Rachael thought the writer was, wasn’t that person at all and was off on a romantic interlude with someone she didn’t even like, never mind love! Damn! She might not like what Di was doing but she couldn’t bring this woman into the triangle too.  It wouldn’t be right to shatter her ideal of the writer as well.

“I know the hotel she uses from time to time, Rachael, but by the time you sent a message there she might have moved on. Tell you what, I’ll explain to Di that you need to communicate with her and have her send you a more permanent address, how would that be?”

The pain etched itself deep in the woman’s face and SG could see why the writer was so taken with the woman, if for nothing more than to watch the differing, expressions cross her features.

SG felt the raw emotion of the moment as the slumped shoulders indicated the woman’s bitter disappointment at being unable to reach her goal. An idea struck her as she reached inside the drawer of her desk and pulled out a volume that was still being printed.

“Rachael, I thought you might like to see this, its Di’s new book.” Handing the volume over to the upset woman who snatched it like a lifeline and hugged it to her as she left the publisher.

My God Di, what have you done?

Glancing at her watch, she had another ten minutes before her meeting across town with Brian, her main printer who was due to have the first batch of Dilana’s novel off the press this afternoon. The volume she had given Rachael was a pre-press copy and didn’t have the final cover of acknowledgements in it. What a pity that was in hindsight. She should have thought of that the mute woman might feel a little better if she saw the dedication. Still Di could tell her that herself if she wanted to make contact, which now was totally in her hands.

Dialing Darryl’s number, she smiled as she heard his deep voice. It was great to have the love of someone, even if they were miles across the State.

* * *

Rachael stopped at the stall selling newspapers and magazines as she waited for the train to take her to the nearest station to the town. Sister Angela had promised to have Rob, the caretaker, collect her at the station. However, if she missed this connection she would have to let them know her new arrangements.

Selecting a couple that might not necessarily appeal to her but would some of the younger people at the orphanage, she paid for them and waited for her train, it was due anytime. As she stood there watching the people milling around the depot, some slowly others faster than the trains themselves, she wondered if they had problems too! Of course, they must have, everyone did but quite the magnitude of hers, she wasn’t so sure. To her they appeared insurmountable and there seemed no end to the dark tunnel that she had entered. Would the light herald happiness or merely the closing of one door and the opening of another as Sister Angela would most probably say.

Sometimes she listened to people’s conversations, not eavesdropping exactly, because often there were so many conversations trying to jostle for position that you found snippets that sounded interesting but as you tried to home in on that particular conversation something else replaced it and the original one was lost in the morass. Other times, it was difficult to listen for any particular set of words as  they were a jumble of sounds that couldn’t be deciphered. Today was much like that, the humming in the background like a telephone connection that was unable to make a connection.

Careful not to miss the arrival of her particular train she glanced up at the arrivals board and checked that they hadn’t changed the platform; satisfied that she was at the correct one she waited patiently for it to arrive. Rachael glanced down at the book held securely in her hand. This was after all, the only recent link she had with Dilana and it would be interesting to see what the writer had completed in her absence. Had it all been worth it she wondered. The title sounded interesting, ‘When Dreams Need The Hand of Faith.’

Flipping the book open, she was about to read the introduction when the train arrived. Stowing the volume with the two magazines she had purchased, she would start the book when she was settled in her seat.

* * *

“Thanks, Brian, you’ve done a great job. Couldn’t have asked for better timing as it turns out either, I need to get Dilana back here for some promotion work.” Smiling, the head printer appreciated the publisher’s sincere comments. She was one of the few he would pull the stops out for.

“Not a problem, SG. I hope you don’t mind me asking, but can I have a copy for my wife? She’s a fan of Ms. Sterling’s work. Not my type of reading matter at all although she swears by them.”

“Sure, Brian, take whatever you need, within reason of course. When I see Di again I’ll get her to autograph one for your wife, how would that be?”

Chuckling, the man grinned broadly, “Great!  Do you think she will?”

SG rubbed her chin in thoughtful reflection for a moment before smiling, “I guarantee it.”

“I’ll have the first batch you need for promotion at your office first thing in the morning and the first shipments will be to schedule.” The man was now flicking over the dispatch sheets and working out the logistics in his head.

“Great. Talk with you tomorrow, Brian, and thanks again. I couldn’t have done it on time without you.” Walking out of his office, she went down the small stairway towards the parking area.

Turning the book over from the front cover, the writer’s face smiled up at her and she wondered if Di was actually smiling at this minute. The picture on the book had been taken in the second week of her last tour, a week before she met up with disastrous fate that was to take her on an unexpected journey.

The preface had all the ingredients of an old fashioned yarn that could be applied today and as it was, loosely based on real life. What would the orphanage people think of the book? Would they love it, hate it, or tolerate it because it was going to bring in revenue? If Di wasn’t already on a downfall with her current choices in life, then she wasn’t going to be flavor of the month when or if she ever went back to the small town. All well and good saying the usual crap about not based on anyone living or dead but would that small town believe it?

At the end of the day, it was Dilana’s best novel to-date. Filled with tensions, emotions and a desire to achieve goals that seemed impossible but at the same time, there was the promise of eternal hope as it ended something missing from most of Di’s books even her last, which had a happy ending.

As she flicked the pages she saw the dedication that Di had insisted be inserted, regardless of any fall out from Celina Ratford when she eventually was given a copy.

As SG read the dedication, she realized that she should have waited to send a complete copy to Rachael. She, above anyone, needed to know that Dilana wrote the book for her. If she could never say the words, I love you, outright she had tried to do so in another form, the only other way she knew, by writing a book.

Maybe, just maybe, when she called Di tonight the situation may not be as hopeless as everyone, even the writer thought. After all, Rachael had made the effort to seek Di out. Perhaps the title of the book wasn’t such a stretch of the imagination for Di to apply it to herself.

* * *

“You never told me the book was finished. Why not?” Celina asked annoyed and upset that Dilana had kept that little secret. She had thought that they had become close. Admittedly, she had used her influence and forced the relationship but the writer had been very amenable to the situation in all ways.

“I didn’t think you would be interested.” Di stated flatly as she was pierced by eyes that held confusion and was it...pain…surely not?

“Interested! You didn’t think I was interested. We’re lovers. Doesn’t that mean we share important things in life?”

“Yes we are lovers. However, isn’t that about sex, Celina? You told me that from the first time we went to bed together. Why should you want to know about things that have nothing to do with the sexual relationship?” Di knew she was being harsh but she had spoken with SG who had told her that Rachael had been looking for her. That fact alone was enough for Di to get on the next plane home and protect the mute woman from the big city.

“I’m a patron of the arts, Dilana I love your work.  So yes, I’d be interested! Have you a copy of the story here with you?” The older woman demanded. She thought they had actually grown past the situation being just about sex, however, she realized they hadn’t really talked much.

“Not a hard copy, no, SG has that. In fact, she wants me to return and promote the new book. I’ve said I’ll be back there by the weekend.”

Sarcastically Celina retorted, “Thank you for allowing me two more days of your company! Have you been planning this with Ryan? I know she was never happy about you leaving with me.”

Di stood up and went over to the balcony and looked out at the horizon it’s inky black outlook given a sheen as the moon set a shimmering glow like a path of light to an unknown destination.

“We discussed the publication of the book but she wasn’t sure of the time frame.”

“That would be a first! That woman is the shrewdest person I’ve ever met and she knows deadlines like you and I can add two and two together to make four.”

“I admit she’s a great publisher to have in your corner. She’s a terrific friend too, in the good and bad times.”

Both women stared at each other. One determined that she would stand her ground; the other unsure what to do for perhaps the first time in years. It would be so easy to call some friends and deliver a severe blow to the new book’s arrival on the scene.

“Look, lover, please stay another couple of weeks and when the book is in the high street we’ll go promote it.  What are a few more days?”

“I can’t!” Di knew that a few more days in Celina’s company would be like years to her now. Especially with the knowledge that Rachael had come looking for her, she had to leave and leave now.

“You can’t? Or you won’t?” now where had she heard that…oh yes, SG had made a similar comment what now seemed years ago, only this was different.

“I won’t.” The simple words echoed on the small deck, now for the fall out.

“Do I mean anything to you, Dilana? Have all these months together been such a chore for you?” For the first time in her life, Celina felt that she didn’t have any control and that this time, when it was someone she really wanted to stay in her life, they would leave her alone. Could she stomach the honesty if Dilana chose to tell her?

A coward turns their back when they have something to say that wouldn’t be well received and Dilana knew one thing about herself; she’d been a stupid fool in the past six months but she wasn’t a total coward and it was time she lived up to the expectations her family, friends and most importantly of all, what she expected of herself.

“I wish I could say that you mean something to me, Celina, but you don’t, never have. It was a means to an end and one you introduced into the equation. I only followed your bidding, now you want to change the rules? I think not. I’m leaving in the morning and you can do your worse because living this lie has torn me apart inside. I don’t know how I’m going to convince people that I can be more than the shallow person they have come to think of me at this time. I will keep trying though; until I take, my last breathe, because if I haven’t any pride in myself how can anyone else have any in me? Maybe you should ask yourself that same question.”

A strangled sob flowed out of Celina as she tried to dredge up anger at the situation but couldn’t as the hurt she felt at the rejection pained her more. “I can change, Dilana, if you give me the chance.” Her voice beseeched the writer who shrugged her shoulders and left the woman sobbing uncontrollably on the deck.

If anyone would have told her this scenario was going to happen she would have smiled and said Celina deserved every last tear and heartache. Now all she felt was regret and an enormous amount of relief that this part of her life was over and she’d never allow it to happen again.

Now, she needed to salvage her other relationships, SG would be her first step and then onto the most important one of all, Rachael. If it took her the rest of her life she’d keep trying, because now she knew, as she never had before in her life, the mute woman was the answer to all her dreams. Now she had to wait and see if the hand of fate actually had any pity left for her or divine intervention.